Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholic's Anonymous, wrote in 1952, "If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find... more
Allen and Thom return to familiar emotional sobriety territory of living in the pauses and managing our reactions to fears... more
Returning to our definition of a more mature love, challenging not the concept of “self” entirely, but an expanding our... more
Picking up the discussion from last week, in crafting our emotionally sober foundation and cultivating our awareness, what do we... more
Our awareness is what we use to make contact with the world. The quality of that contact will determine how... more
Patrick and Allen deal with their own fears and resentments surrounding the Los Angeles wildfires. Patrick welcomes to the pod... more
Why are some people surpassingly resilient in sobriety, not only restoring to their wellness conditions pre-alcoholism and pre-trauma, but emerging... more
Responsibility creates empowerment. Closing this year of the podcast as we look ahead to 2025, Allen, Thom, and Patrick consider... more
A quick one, before Christmas - Thom and Patrick talk about their sideways shuffle towards emotional sobriety, accepting the things... more
Allen, Joe, and Patrick continue their ongoing discussion of the holiday season, encountering new challenges and opportunities to hold onto... more
Thom, Patrick and Joe bring to the conversation their individual anticipations and dreads of the Thanksgiving holiday to come. The... more
Four of us take stock of our personal arcs towards greater emotional sobriety. Happiness, as Herb Kaighan frames it, isn’t... more
Going into yet another fraught American Presidential election, Allen, Thom, and Patrick discuss their fears and feelings of debt and... more
Friend of the pod Howard Malitz of Seasons of Recovery talks about an extreme test of emotional sobriety on a... more
Joe C., Allen, and Thom welcome author William Schaberg (Bill), author of 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well to... more
Joe C., Allen, and Thom read from William Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well to further explore the... more
The fellas discuss the role of anger in emotional sobriety. We also read a thoughtful email from one of our... more
On the journey towards forgiving others, we can’t bypass our grief. Thom, Patrick, and Tom Potash discuss both processing and... more
Allen Berger and Joe Chisholm check in from this year’s ICSAA conference in Orlando, Florida, to relay an anecdote from... more
Allen, Thom, and Patrick read from the AA Grapevine again and reflect on the story of someone in recovery from... more
No matter our level of certainty about anything, emotional sobriety advises holding the truth in our hands but gripping it... more
Our sagely Joe Chisholm returns for heartfelt conversation about the negative self-concepts that can undermine our recoveries. Experiences which are... more
Howard Malitz returns to the pod to read and discuss another AA Grapevine article, which deals with the role of... more
Author, psychologist and TEDx speaker Dr. Shawn Horn rejoins us to discuss her upcoming project about adults with ADHD, with... more
Joe C. rejoins Allen and Thom this week, to discuss looking beyond what a person is saying to focus on... more
Allen, Thom, and Patrick discuss the challenge and opportunity in conducting their relationships in a manner appropriate to those relationships.... more
Allen, Thom, and Patrick bring their AA Grapevine series to a close and talk "doomscrolling," rehab, and first steps. This week’s... more
Joe C. and Thom join Patrick before Allen pops in to discuss our second to last AA Grapevine reading series... more
Carol Carter drops by to help us read the latest in Emotional Sobriety from the AA Grapevine - the first... more
Earnie Larsen once said, “Your program cannot take you further than your definition of recovery.” Take a moment and answer the following question: What is your definition of recovery? Happy Father's Day... more
Joe C. brings the CHIME recovery model from a recent workshop into our eternally unfolding discussion of what it means... more
Thom and Patrick discuss the latest emotional sobriety-centric AA Grapevine article and talk work, God, and acceptance. Next week, Joe... more
Allen, Thom, and Patrick delve into the latest Emotional Sobriety-centric AA Grapevine article. We discuss rock bottoms, taking action, and... more
Allen and Patrick record face-to-face during some downtime from the three-day Recovery Reimagined event in London to discuss bringing Emotional... more
Allen, Thom, and Patrick revisit the principle of staying sober for one more day, even when it would make more... more
Allen, Thom, and Patrick read another emotional sobriety anecdote from the AA Grapevine and discuss early sobriety, sponsors, and attempting... more
Thom and Patrick discuss a friend whose wife and baby are in the hospital this weekend in dire straits, as... more
Allen mines some lessons from a death in the family and Thom reflects on an inspiring recent phase of good... more
The Grapevine story Carol, Allen, Thom, and Patrick get into this week has to do with a longtime AA member... more
Carol Carter joins the pod again (and will be returning next week!) to discuss depth and stages of recovery, culling... more
This week we discuss the “peaceful leveling” that occurs in fellowship, how with greater emotional sobriety our alienating differences can... more
Allen, Thom, and Patrick welcome Sara Stromberg, a many years recovering student of Gestalt therapy who discusses her sobriety and... more
Allen, Thom, and Patrick reflect on small simple actions, our claiming of experiences rather than allowing them to claim us,... more
Howard Malitz returns to the pod to chat with Patrick and Thom about the deeper levels of recovery he discovered... more
Joe C. and surprise drop-in guest Howard Malitz discuss the next Grapevine Emotional Sobriety article and go into an intimate... more
Joe C. returns to take a plunge with us into our next Grapevine story about opportunities for emotional sobriety showing... more
Allen, Thom, Herb K., and Patrick delve further into the AA Grapevine detailing inspirational stories of recovery and emotional sobriety.... more
For the first of several upcoming episodes with rotating guests unpacking an Emotional Sobriety-themed AA Grapevine issue, Thom and Allen... more
Longtime collaborator of Allen's Herb K. returns to the pod. In light of a recent enlargement of his spiritual life,... more
Looking ahead to a year ripe with possibilities for bringing the best possible attitude to our trials and tribulations. Next week... more
As we head into another year of the podcast, Carol Carter, Thom, Allen, and Patrick reflect on a painful but... more
Allen and Thom answer some of your Facebook questions and investigate how we can bring the best possible attitude towards... more
Thom, Joe, and Patrick (with a late episode appearance by Allen, fresh off his somatic therapy workshop) discuss how our... more
One essential component of emotional sobriety is our willingness to adapt to changing circumstances, developing the best possible attitude towards... more
Our resistance to change and our inability to properly feel grief is connected on some levels to a lack of... more
Patience and practice are what Thom, Allen, and now Patrick attempt to bring to bear in a set of sudden... more
Thom returns to the pod to bring Allen and Patrick up to speed on his last few challenging months, and... more
Allen and Joe C. delve their personal experiences with trauma in trying to highlight how these principles of Emotional Sobriety... more
RTT (Rapid Transformational) Therapist, Hypnotherapist and coach Janine McJannet has spent the better part of her life reckoning with the... more
Having flourished in his connection to others through the use of Zoom and WhatsApp during the pandemic, Friendly Circle Berlin... more
Allen and Joe find an unlikely Emotional Sobriety kindred spirit in Dr. Seuss' "Oh, the Places You'll Go," a classic... more
Melanie Gulde, program director of the soon-to-open Divided Sky residential recovery retreat located in Ludlow, Vermont, drops by discuss her... more
In a later season of her life, Susan Chandler had to reckon with the collapse of a marriage, unemployment, the... more
To be loved, to be accepted, and to belong, we early in life construct an identity that, as Allen describes,... more
Celeste Yvonne, certified recovery coach and author of It’s Not About the Wine: The Loaded Truth Behind Mommy Wine Culture... more
Therapist Roger Andes, longtime friend and frequent collaborator on Thom and Allen’s 12-Step workshops, drops in to discuss his latest... more
Living peacefully with the irreconcilable is at the core of what creates change. Thom and Allen alternately draw upon their... more
On a weekend of record heatwaves, to escape the crushing anxiety Thom and Patrick invite longtime collaborator Carol Carter on... more
As much as we strive to cultivate our emotional sobriety, learning to lean on self-support rather than environmental support, those... more
Health care and financial insecurity are just a couple of the subjects Thom, Joe, and Patrick touch on as they... more
What does it mean to respect ourselves, and how can we put it to work once we’ve attained some physical... more
Allen references Erving Polster’s book while contemplating how the broad span of our lives have a dramatic richness and fullness... more
Picking up with Thom Rutledge about his recent struggles with depression, something that’s been with him since his early days... more
The team unpacks their month of hard knocks and give their best shot at illustrating how life's heaviest challenges can... more
Part of our mission statement as we move towards greater emotional freedom is to have the best possible attitude towards... more
Foundational to Emotional Sobriety is the recognition that we aren’t bad people trying to be good people. We’re simply trying... more
Decades after his service in the Vietnam War, Allen realized the extent of his disability and trauma after a chance... more
With some inspiration from W. Timothy Gallwey’s The Inner Game of Tennis (one of the only self-help books Thom has... more
Brian Lutz and Thom Rutledge recently encountered critical challenges in their marriages that tested their capacity for acceptance. Acceptance of... more
Locating our authentic self in the midst of our warring inner committee and standing our ground - not against others... more
A we engage with the recovery impetus to be of service to others, In addition to the reward there may... more
Recovery (and Emotional Sobriety) are contagious! Joe Chisholm returns to the pod to chat with Thom and Patrick about the... more
As we become more awakened in emotional sobriety, we begin to challenge all our old ideas. The power struggle of... more
How can we learn to live in better alignment with our values? Some of our values are unconscious, and benefit... more
Thom and Allen hold down the fort to discuss the role of honesty in therapy. Allen shares the profoundly positive... more
It feels good to judge. What does that reveal about ourselves, and how can we work on putting this energy... more
Thom and Allen discuss what it means to be "radically honest." Radical honesty begins with self-honesty. We can’t do it... more
Thom and Patrick dig into their rocky pre-recovery days, charting the evolution their consciousnesses have taken. While encountering challenges, keep it... more
Allen and Thom welcome longtime contributor to the Emotional Sobriety community Tom Potash to talk about his decades-long recovery journey,... more
Recovery stalwart Richard Warner had to announce himself as a newcomer after decades in the program, a formative experience that... more
Roger Andes discusses his body-oriented work as a therapist, cultivating connections with others and within himself revolving around the preservation... more
Longtime collaborator, first-time guest Herb K. joins us to discuss the role of meditation in his daily practice, and how... more
This week we share our thoughts on receiving & offering guidance to other addicts across a wide span of experience... more
Peg joins us to talk about her more secular conception of a Higher Power, informed by her background in philosophy... more
If you’re disturbed about something, we encourage investigating what’s beneath that disturbance. This episode we explore the psychological mechanism called... more
With the serenity prayer, we try to figure out the things in our lives that we have the power to... more
In preparation for the forthcoming high calorie sit-downs many of us are having with friends and family this week, Allen... more
Allen’s big Italian dinners. Thom getting kicked by a horse. Patrick learning what to do with his hands, now that... more
At a certain point (or maybe various points) along the recovery way, we each develop an awareness of what we... more
Allen tells us about his formative years enlisting in the marines, Vietnam, alcohol and drugs. Thom of early struggles working... more
Let's return to fundamental questions of what Emotional Sobriety is, and why we consider it the “next frontier." How do... more
Peg joins us to talk about her more secular conception of a Higher Power, informed by her background in philosophy and the... more