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Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery
Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery
Allen Berger & Thom Rutledge

Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholic's Anonymous, wrote in 1952, "If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find... more

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Episodes

The Regret Reduction Program

Allen and Thom return to familiar emotional sobriety territory of living in the pauses and managing our reactions to fears... more

13 Feb 2025 · 21 minutes
Emotional Sobriety and Love

Returning to our definition of a more mature love, challenging not the concept of “self” entirely, but an expanding our... more

08 Feb 2025 · 22 minutes
Seeing More, Seeing Further

Picking up the discussion from last week, in crafting our emotionally sober foundation and cultivating our awareness, what do we... more

31 Jan 2025 · 19 minutes
Awareness is the Foundation

Our awareness is what we use to make contact with the world. The quality of that contact will determine how... more

24 Jan 2025 · 11 minutes
Surviving Fire

Patrick and Allen deal with their own fears and resentments surrounding the Los Angeles wildfires. Patrick welcomes to the pod... more

17 Jan 2025 · 47 minutes
Post-Traumatic Gains

Why are some people surpassingly resilient in sobriety, not only restoring to their wellness conditions pre-alcoholism and pre-trauma, but emerging... more

12 Jan 2025 · 33 minutes
2024 in Review

Responsibility creates empowerment. Closing this year of the podcast as we look ahead to 2025, Allen, Thom, and Patrick consider... more

30 Dec 2024 · 37 minutes
Lucky Attachments

A quick one, before Christmas - Thom and Patrick talk about their sideways shuffle towards emotional sobriety, accepting the things... more

24 Dec 2024 · 25 minutes
Any Port in a Storm

Allen, Joe, and Patrick continue their ongoing discussion of the holiday season, encountering new challenges and opportunities to hold onto... more

08 Dec 2024 · 31 minutes
Early Holiday Observations with Joe C.

Thom, Patrick and Joe bring to the conversation their individual anticipations and dreads of the Thanksgiving holiday to come. The... more

25 Nov 2024 · 35 minutes
Acorn to Oak Tree with Herb K.

Four of us take stock of our personal arcs towards greater emotional sobriety. Happiness, as Herb Kaighan frames it, isn’t... more

17 Nov 2024 · 36 minutes
Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot

Going into yet another fraught American Presidential election, Allen, Thom, and Patrick discuss their fears and feelings of debt and... more

04 Nov 2024 · 36 minutes
How's Your Practice?

Friend of the pod Howard Malitz of Seasons of Recovery talks about an extreme test of emotional sobriety on a... more

30 Oct 2024 · 47 minutes
Emotional Sobriety as “Democratic Pluralism”

Joe C., Allen, and Thom welcome author William Schaberg (Bill), author of 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well to... more

21 Oct 2024 · 48 minutes
Acknowledging & Accepting Another Perspective

Joe C., Allen, and Thom read from William Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well to further explore the... more

13 Oct 2024 · 41 minutes
Expanding the Zone of Comfort

The fellas discuss the role of anger in emotional sobriety. We also read a thoughtful email from one of our... more

06 Oct 2024 · 30 minutes
In Pardoning, We Are Pardoned

On the journey towards forgiving others, we can’t bypass our grief. Thom, Patrick, and Tom Potash discuss both processing and... more

29 Sep 2024 · 40 minutes
He Doth Protest Too Much (Missive from ICSAA)!

Allen Berger and Joe Chisholm check in from this year’s ICSAA conference in Orlando, Florida, to relay an anecdote from... more

22 Sep 2024 · 30 minutes
So Worth Living

Allen, Thom, and Patrick read from the AA Grapevine again and reflect on the story of someone in recovery from... more

16 Sep 2024 · 30 minutes
Grip Lightly

No matter our level of certainty about anything, emotional sobriety advises holding the truth in our hands but gripping it... more

09 Sep 2024 · 32 minutes
Challenging Core Beliefs

Our sagely Joe Chisholm returns for heartfelt conversation about the negative self-concepts that can undermine our recoveries. Experiences which are... more

02 Sep 2024 · 50 minutes
When We Need Outside Help

Howard Malitz returns to the pod to read and discuss another AA Grapevine article, which deals with the role of... more

25 Aug 2024 · 44 minutes
Accepting the Road Ahead with Dr. Shawn Horn

Author, psychologist and TEDx speaker Dr. Shawn Horn rejoins us to discuss her upcoming project about adults with ADHD, with... more

12 Aug 2024 · 36 minutes
Stay Connected & Add More Self

Joe C. rejoins Allen and Thom this week, to discuss looking beyond what a person is saying to focus on... more

04 Aug 2024 · 56 minutes
Balancing on the Relational Beam

Allen, Thom, and Patrick discuss the challenge and opportunity in conducting their relationships in a manner appropriate to those relationships.... more

28 Jul 2024 · 33 minutes
Beating the Questionnaire

Allen, Thom, and Patrick bring their AA Grapevine series to a close and talk "doomscrolling," rehab, and first steps.   This week’s... more

14 Jul 2024 · 35 minutes
Hurtling Towards Serenity

Joe C. and Thom join Patrick before Allen pops in to discuss our second to last AA Grapevine reading series... more

07 Jul 2024 · 34 minutes
Life Goes On

Carol Carter drops by to help us read the latest in Emotional Sobriety from the AA Grapevine - the first... more

23 Jun 2024 · 27 minutes
Get Quiet, and Listen

Earnie Larsen once said, “Your program cannot take you further than your definition of recovery.” Take a moment and answer the following question: What is your definition of recovery?   Happy Father's Day... more

16 Jun 2024 · 24 minutes
Connection/Hope/Identity/Meaning/Empowement

Joe C. brings the CHIME recovery model from a recent workshop into our eternally unfolding discussion of what it means... more

03 Jun 2024 · 48 minutes
Never Judge Your Earlier Self by What You Know Today

Thom and Patrick discuss the latest emotional sobriety-centric AA Grapevine article and talk work, God, and acceptance. Next week, Joe... more

27 May 2024 · 32 minutes
Spiritual GPS

Allen, Thom, and Patrick delve into the latest Emotional Sobriety-centric AA Grapevine article. We discuss rock bottoms, taking action, and... more

20 May 2024 · 38 minutes
Any Way You Slice It (Cheerio to London!)

Allen and Patrick record face-to-face during some downtime from the three-day Recovery Reimagined event in London to discuss bringing Emotional... more

12 May 2024 · 40 minutes
Make Plans, Don’t Plan the Results!

Allen, Thom, and Patrick revisit the principle of staying sober for one more day, even when it would make more... more

29 Apr 2024 · 22 minutes
So Worth It

Allen, Thom, and Patrick read another emotional sobriety anecdote from the AA Grapevine and discuss early sobriety, sponsors, and attempting... more

21 Apr 2024 · 25 minutes
Courage to Change

Thom and Patrick discuss a friend whose wife and baby are in the hospital this weekend in dire straits, as... more

14 Apr 2024 · 38 minutes
Dream Come True

Allen mines some lessons from a death in the family and Thom reflects on an inspiring recent phase of good... more

08 Apr 2024 · 31 minutes
Party Guy

The Grapevine story Carol, Allen, Thom, and Patrick get into this week has to do with a longtime AA member... more

25 Mar 2024 · 49 minutes
Getting the Help

Carol Carter joins the pod again (and will be returning next week!) to discuss depth and stages of recovery, culling... more

18 Mar 2024 · 40 minutes
Unity = Love

This week we discuss the “peaceful leveling” that occurs in fellowship, how with greater emotional sobriety our alienating differences can... more

11 Mar 2024 · 25 minutes
"The Experiment" with Sara Stromberg

Allen, Thom, and Patrick welcome Sara Stromberg, a many years recovering student of Gestalt therapy who discusses her sobriety and... more

04 Mar 2024 · 39 minutes
Passing It On

Allen, Thom, and Patrick reflect on small simple actions, our claiming of experiences rather than allowing them to claim us,... more

26 Feb 2024 · 31 minutes
Está Bien

Howard Malitz returns to the pod to chat with Patrick and Thom about the deeper levels of recovery he discovered... more

19 Feb 2024 · 1 hour, 2 minutes
"Fear of Economic Insecurity Will Leave Us"

Joe C. and surprise drop-in guest Howard Malitz discuss the next Grapevine Emotional Sobriety article and go into an intimate... more

12 Feb 2024 · 37 minutes
Little Surrenders

Joe C. returns to take a plunge with us into our next Grapevine story about opportunities for emotional sobriety showing... more

05 Feb 2024 · 31 minutes
It All Adds Up

Allen, Thom, Herb K., and Patrick delve further into the AA Grapevine detailing inspirational stories of recovery and emotional sobriety.... more

29 Jan 2024 · 38 minutes
Tending Our Gardens

For the first of several upcoming episodes with rotating guests unpacking an Emotional Sobriety-themed AA Grapevine issue, Thom and Allen... more

22 Jan 2024 · 30 minutes
Our Way of Life with Herb K.

Longtime collaborator of Allen's Herb K. returns to the pod. In light of a recent enlargement of his spiritual life,... more

15 Jan 2024 · 45 minutes
To Crush and Not Be Crushed

Looking ahead to a year ripe with possibilities for bringing the best possible attitude to our trials and tribulations.   Next week... more

08 Jan 2024 · 34 minutes
Moving Beyond Our Challenging Year

As we head into another year of the podcast, Carol Carter, Thom, Allen, and Patrick reflect on a painful but... more

31 Dec 2023 · 41 minutes
Happy Happy, Joy Joy

Allen and Thom answer some of your Facebook questions and investigate how we can bring the best possible attitude towards... more

25 Dec 2023 · 41 minutes
The Dubious Importance of "Being Right"

Thom, Joe, and Patrick (with a late episode appearance by Allen, fresh off his somatic therapy workshop) discuss how our... more

11 Dec 2023 · 1 hour, 10 minutes
Adapting to the Unexpected

One essential component of emotional sobriety is our willingness to adapt to changing circumstances, developing the best possible attitude towards... more

04 Dec 2023 · 28 minutes
What Aren’t We Thankful For?

Our resistance to change and our inability to properly feel grief is connected on some levels to a lack of... more

26 Nov 2023 · 40 minutes
On the Rocks

Patience and practice are what Thom, Allen, and now Patrick attempt to bring to bear in a set of sudden... more

19 Nov 2023 · 33 minutes
“There Ain’t No Easy Cancer”

Thom returns to the pod to bring Allen and Patrick up to speed on his last few challenging months, and... more

06 Nov 2023 · 43 minutes
New Recovery From Trauma and PTSD

Allen and Joe C. delve their personal experiences with trauma in trying to highlight how these principles of Emotional Sobriety... more

22 Oct 2023 · 42 minutes
Recovery in Poetry with Janine McJannett

RTT (Rapid Transformational) Therapist, Hypnotherapist and coach Janine McJannet has spent the better part of her life reckoning with the... more

16 Oct 2023 · 41 minutes
Daily Practices on Recovery's Frontier (with Patrick McAteer)

Having flourished in his connection to others through the use of Zoom and WhatsApp during the pandemic, Friendly Circle Berlin... more

09 Oct 2023 · 49 minutes
Oh, the Places We’ll Go (with Joe C.)

Allen and Joe find an unlikely Emotional Sobriety kindred spirit in Dr. Seuss' "Oh, the Places You'll Go," a classic... more

25 Sep 2023 · 53 minutes
Emotional Sobriety in Residential Treatment

Melanie Gulde, program director of the soon-to-open Divided Sky residential recovery retreat located in Ludlow, Vermont, drops by discuss her... more

17 Sep 2023 · 35 minutes
It’s Never Too Late

In a later season of her life, Susan Chandler had to reckon with the collapse of a marriage, unemployment, the... more

10 Sep 2023 · 45 minutes
Awakening Our Truest Selves

To be loved, to be accepted, and to belong, we early in life construct an identity that, as Allen describes,... more

30 Aug 2023 · 44 minutes
Surviving and Thriving in Motherhood with Celeste Yvonne

Celeste Yvonne, certified recovery coach and author of It’s Not About the Wine: The Loaded Truth Behind Mommy Wine Culture... more

14 Aug 2023 · 49 minutes
Self-Esteem and Emotional Sobriety with Roger Andes

Therapist Roger Andes, longtime friend and frequent collaborator on Thom and Allen’s 12-Step workshops, drops in to discuss his latest... more

07 Aug 2023 · 40 minutes
Recovery's Paradoxes

Living peacefully with the irreconcilable is at the core of what creates change. Thom and Allen alternately draw upon their... more

03 Aug 2023 · 51 minutes
Keeping Cool with Carol Carter

On a weekend of record heatwaves, to escape the crushing anxiety Thom and Patrick invite longtime collaborator Carol Carter on... more

17 Jul 2023 · 50 minutes
Change Calls the Tune We Dance To

As much as we strive to cultivate our emotional sobriety, learning to lean on self-support rather than environmental support, those... more

09 Jul 2023 · 26 minutes
Let Fear Be Your Teacher

Health care and financial insecurity are just a couple of the subjects Thom, Joe, and Patrick touch on as they... more

26 Jun 2023 · 54 minutes
Emotional Sobriety & Self-Respect

What does it mean to respect ourselves, and how can we put it to work once we’ve attained some physical... more

12 Jun 2023 · 44 minutes
Every Life Is Worth a Novel

Allen references Erving Polster’s book while contemplating how the broad span of our lives have a dramatic richness and fullness... more

05 Jun 2023 · 33 minutes
Depression's Long Game

Picking up with Thom Rutledge about his recent struggles with depression, something that’s been with him since his early days... more

29 May 2023 · 39 minutes
Freedom at Cost

The team unpacks their month of hard knocks and give their best shot at illustrating how life's heaviest challenges can... more

21 May 2023 · 47 minutes
Shifting to the Best Possible Attitude

Part of our mission statement as we move towards greater emotional freedom is to have the best possible attitude towards... more

01 May 2023 · 22 minutes
A New Way of Making Amends

Foundational to Emotional Sobriety is the recognition that we aren’t bad people trying to be good people. We’re simply trying... more

23 Apr 2023 · 27 minutes
When the Road Meets the Rubber

Decades after his service in the Vietnam War, Allen realized the extent of his disability and trauma after a chance... more

15 Apr 2023 · 20 minutes
When the Rubber Meets the Road

With some inspiration from W. Timothy Gallwey’s The Inner Game of Tennis (one of the only self-help books Thom has... more

10 Apr 2023 · 30 minutes
True Acceptance

Brian Lutz and Thom Rutledge recently encountered critical challenges in their marriages that tested their capacity for acceptance. Acceptance of... more

03 Apr 2023 · 46 minutes
The Decision Maker

Locating our authentic self in the midst of our warring inner committee and standing our ground - not against others... more

27 Mar 2023 · 36 minutes
Emotional Sobriety, Stewardship & Service (Part Two)

A we engage with the recovery impetus to be of service to others, In addition to the reward there may... more

20 Mar 2023 · 37 minutes
Emotional Sobriety, Stewardship & Service (Part One)

Recovery (and Emotional Sobriety) are contagious! Joe Chisholm returns to the pod to chat with Thom and Patrick about the... more

13 Mar 2023 · 48 minutes
A New Perspective on Failure

As we become more awakened in emotional sobriety, we begin to challenge all our old ideas. The power struggle of... more

06 Mar 2023 · 42 minutes
Authentic Values

How can we learn to live in better alignment with our values? Some of our values are unconscious, and benefit... more

27 Feb 2023 · 44 minutes
Ripple Effect

Thom and Allen hold down the fort to discuss the role of honesty in therapy. Allen shares the profoundly positive... more

19 Feb 2023 · 32 minutes
“Maddiction” with Joe C.

It feels good to judge. What does that reveal about ourselves, and how can we work on putting this energy... more

13 Feb 2023 · 47 minutes
Radical Honesty

Thom and Allen discuss what it means to be "radically honest." Radical honesty begins with self-honesty. We can’t do it... more

05 Feb 2023 · 44 minutes
Practice Makes Practice

Thom and Patrick dig into their rocky pre-recovery days, charting the evolution their consciousnesses have taken. While encountering challenges, keep it... more

30 Jan 2023 · 31 minutes
Philosophy over Psychology with Tom Potash

Allen and Thom welcome longtime contributor to the Emotional Sobriety community Tom Potash to talk about his decades-long recovery journey,... more

23 Jan 2023 · 57 minutes
A Spiritual Path Through Emotional Sobriety

Recovery stalwart Richard Warner had to announce himself as a newcomer after decades in the program, a formative experience that... more

16 Jan 2023 · 57 minutes
Living Consciously with Roger Andes

Roger Andes discusses his body-oriented work as a therapist, cultivating connections with others and within himself revolving around the preservation... more

09 Jan 2023 · 52 minutes
Meditating on the New Year with Herb Kaighan

Longtime collaborator, first-time guest Herb K. joins us to discuss the role of meditation in his daily practice, and how... more

30 Dec 2022 · 45 minutes
More Will Be Revealed with Joe C.

This week we share our thoughts on receiving & offering guidance to other addicts across a wide span of experience... more

19 Dec 2022 · 47 minutes
Higher and Friendly Powers with Dr. Peg O’Connor

Peg joins us to talk about her more secular conception of a Higher Power, informed by her background in philosophy... more

12 Dec 2022 · 55 minutes
Our Inner Civil War

If you’re disturbed about something, we encourage investigating what’s beneath that disturbance. This episode we explore the psychological mechanism called... more

05 Dec 2022 · 42 minutes
The Importance (and Difficulty!) of Our Daily Practice

With the serenity prayer, we try to figure out the things in our lives that we have the power to... more

28 Nov 2022 · 34 minutes
Thanksgiving Survival Guide

In preparation for the forthcoming high calorie sit-downs many of us are having with friends and family this week, Allen... more

23 Nov 2022 · 35 minutes
The Holidays: Come As You Are

Allen’s big Italian dinners. Thom getting kicked by a horse. Patrick learning what to do with his hands, now that... more

14 Nov 2022 · 45 minutes
Between Wisdom & Discipline

At a certain point (or maybe various points) along the recovery way, we each develop an awareness of what we... more

06 Nov 2022 · 51 minutes
Thom & Allen at the ICSAA

Allen tells us about his formative years enlisting in the marines, Vietnam, alcohol and drugs. Thom of early struggles working... more

30 Oct 2022 · 1 hour, 18 minutes
Making the Most of Fellowship & Support

Let's return to fundamental questions of what Emotional Sobriety is, and why we consider it the “next frontier." How do... more

23 Oct 2022 · 37 minutes
Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery
Higher and Friendly Powers with Dr. Peg O’Connor
Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery
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Description

Peg joins us to talk about her more secular conception of a Higher Power, informed by her background in philosophy and the... more