After a Hawaiian Breeze-scented oil explosion forces me to take several baths, my fingers become so pruny that my home... more

After last week's electrocution incident, I update the Glade Plugins medical department on my recent doctor's visit and receive some... more

My award-pending investigative series Sériàlle comes to an abrupt end, when I am threatened with legal action by a major... more

My investigation into mysterious McDonald's Pizza matters in Canada leads me to a floating McDonald's in Vancouver which once played... more

I employ the expertise of film critic Jordan Hoffman to analyse the quality of "Gone in a Heartbeat", the television... more

Notable Canadian Mr. Steven Page joins the program to enlighten listeners about the nature of those dark and troubled souls... more

Professional treasure hunter Christian B. Roper shares startling and disturbing information about a brutal k-wording (kidnapping) that may have been... more

On episode 1 of Sériàlle, our new serialized series about Canadian McDonald's Pizza matters, a remote town in the territory... more

At great risk to my own personal safety, I uncover exactly who manufactures the pizza ovens currently being used by... more

In the first of a mult-part series on recent pizza developments in Canada, I investigate the addition of pizza to... more

Special deputy journalist Karl (Up There in Canada) files a report from a Toronto-area McDonald's that happens to be in... more

On a special Easter edition of the program, my plan to spread the Good News about McDonald's Pizza via Easter... more

Upon learning that Chick-fil-A is now serving pizza, I seek to discover whether it is prepared in the same way... more

To make sure McDonald's Pizza does not fall victim to rising fast food costs, I test a plan to secure... more

After careful consideration, I have decided not to run for president of the United States, and I contact my journalist... more

Upon further review and contact from the KFC corporation's legal team, I issue some retractions and clarifications about statements I... more

As KFC is poised to introduce a monstrous chicken/pizza hybrid product called the Chizza, I arrange to care for the... more

I go undercover to investigate the mysterious success of McDonald's Italy's pizza-like novelty called the panzerotti.

I tell the tale of my visit to The View and the unfortunate encounter I had with Ms. Whoopi Goldberg.

On the anniversary of the publication of the second edition of my board game, I suffer a medical emergency while... more

I incorporate a new company, Panoply Polling (a wholly owned subsidiary of Pizzaply Polling), to call people on the telephone... more

At the risk of exposing personal details about the health of my bodily person, I reveal the reason why this... more

On my paranormal-themed sub-podcast Crust to Crust AM, I investigate the connection between McDonald's experimental new beverage restaurant CosMc's and... more

On this special Christmas edition of the program, I debut a new poem about celebrating the birthday of Christ Ben-David... more

I interview one highly qualified candidate and one slightly less qualified candidate to be my new unpaid intern in charge... more

After being treated rudely by my colleagues in legacy media, I seek revenge by lodging an official complaint.

In this first of a special two-part episode(s), my search for an unpaid intern to help me cover the McDonald's... more

On this day of Thanksgiving, I have trouble giving thanks to Postmates, who delivered my turkey in sub-optimal condition.

I offer the United Nations my plan to end all wars if they agree to my terms re: McDonald's Pizza.

In an effort to gain leverage over the McDonald's Corporation, I endeavor to supply them with cheap sawdust for use... more

On a special Halloween edition of the program, I seek spiritual/technical support for my malfunctioning Ouija board.

I am forced to travel far from home to investigate whether Taylor Swift dresses as Ronald McDonald's in her new... more

While visiting a famous painting of a woman in gold, I was surprised to discover the galerie offered no information... more

Upon learning a certain social media mogul might want to use my book to train his artificial intelligence, I endeavor... more

Concerned about who will inherit my investigative journalism empire, I pursue the possibility of cloning my own heir.

With McDonald's removing self-serve soda machines from their dining rooms, I call upon an expert in the art of jerking... more

I am joined by my colleague, journalist Jason Koebler of 404 Media, who shares with me his reporting on the... more

Waning interest in superheroes means McDonald's is about to dump massive amounts of unsold Loki Season 2 branded sweet n'... more

I officially announce my relocation to New York City, a.k.a. Pizza Town, USA, and set up a briefing with one... more

With the podcasting industry in financial ruins, I reclaim the abandoned trademark for the Panoply Network and reinstate my program... more

Continuing my investigation into the disappearing items on the McCafe bakery menu, I travel to my local McDonald's to find... more

McDonald's has pulled McCafe Bakery items from their menu. Is this history repeating itself? No, but I go undercover as... more

Disturbed by the recent Grimace's birthday milkshake TikTok trend's disrespect toward those who have actually passed away due to the... more

I attempt to understand a piece of McDonald's Pizza fan fiction involving characters from a popular "Japanimation" program.

In the wake of the total collapse of the podcast advertising market, I seek a sponsorship from a popular purveyor... more

A Silicon Valley startup using robot labor to make pizzas has shut down. Before I purchase the automotons for my... more

Because I have to prerecord this week's episode due to my recovery from major oral surgery, I employ the awesome... more

As I prepare to undergo potentially fatal oral surgery, I arrange for my Willow 2: Through the Portal of Time... more

The local New York-area newspaper called The New York Times has released a new audio application that has dire consequences... more

I reveal my plan to deincentivize child labor violations at McDonald's by teaching children the Good News about McDonald's Pizza... more

In this special presentation of the season 2 premiere of Pizzaply Media's hit true crime podcast "Evidence File", the new... more

After a round of high-level corporate layoffs, I enroll all "whistle-blowing" former executives in my miniature witness protection program.

A special presentation of my educational lecture delivered live at Boston College (one of the Boston colleges).

Broadcasting live from the restroom of a public bus on my way to lecture in Boston, Massachusetts, I answer listener... more

I open the proverbial "vault" and unleash a long lost episode of the program from days of yore.

A congressman gives me an idea for how to purchase my own McDonald's franchise using farmed hogs.

An announcement of my rare, in-person live lecture at Boston College on 3/29.

My colleagues at NPR allow me to rebroadcast a segment from their series StoryCorps about a poor moonshiner whose life... more

On this emergency "breaking news" edition of the program, I investigate a bizarre request from former president Donald Trump, who... more

I "catch up" on developments I missed re: artificial intelligence. In the process, I use an AI chatbot to help... more

An investigation into a new McDonald's product called the New Tuna Cheesy Pizza Bread necessitates the answering of an oft-posed... more

I attempt to forensically analyze an original Canadian McDonald's Pizza box I received as a gift from the editors of... more

In an attempt to circumvent some Bic's Wite-Out based redactions on a sensitive McDonald's Pizza document I obtained from the... more

I investigate the security implications of the McDonald's corporation sharing sensitive pizza secrets on the Tick Tock video platform.

On the season three premiere of Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald's?, I am finally awarded a well-deserved award and... more

In this touching conclusion to my 2022 Christmas Special, an old friend gives me a glimpse of a dark future... more

In this first part of my 2022 Christmas special, I am stopped from following through on a dangerous aquatic activity... more

In light of recent nuclear fusion discoveries, I protect myself against a potential explosive disaster by planning to construct a... more

I expose some disturbing information about the host of a Hulu reality competition webseries about pizza making.

I investigate some intriguing information (or, potentially, disinformation) about McDonald's Pizza recounted by a fellow journalist during the 2022 Macy's... more

On this special Thanksgiving edition of the program, I offer a sample prayer to use with your family, provide some... more

I investigate replacing the troubled Twitter.com service with the CB radio community. Plus, I announce a new Pizzaply Media program... more

On this special Halloween edition of the program, I recount the story of a haunted McDonald's and make plans for... more

I am refused spiritual guidance regarding the aftermath of my consumption of a marijuana cigarette.

I investigate the new so-called "adult Happy Meals" by altering my consciousness with legal drugs.

A listener does some deputy journalism in Brooklyn, and my investigation into a mysterious Facebook page leads me to the... more

Continuing my investigation into the deranged McDonald's fans of Facebook, I explore a bizarre page devoted to the Mediterranean Sea... more

Further investigation into the deranged minds behind strange comments on the official McDonald's Facebook page leads me down a darker... more

I attempt to recreate a pizza-adjacent menu item from McDonald's Singapore by smashing a bag of snack mix with a... more

I investigate shockingly similar and somewhat deranged comments beneath an historic post on the official McDonald's Facebook page.