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Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald's
Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald's
Brian Thompson

This is a podcast about whatever happened to pizza at McDonald's.

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336 - Sériàlle, Episode 4

I employ the expertise of film critic Jordan Hoffman to analyse the quality of "Gone in a Heartbeat", the television... more

10 Jun 2024 · 42 minutes
335 - Sériàlle, Episode 3

Notable Canadian Mr. Steven Page joins the program to enlighten listeners about the nature of those dark and troubled souls... more

31 May 2024 · 28 minutes
334 - Sériàlle, Episode 2

Professional treasure hunter Christian B. Roper shares startling and disturbing information about a brutal k-wording (kidnapping) that may have been... more

24 May 2024 · 38 minutes
333 - Sériàlle, Episode 1

On episode 1 of Sériàlle, our new serialized series about Canadian McDonald's Pizza matters, a remote town in the territory... more

20 May 2024 · 26 minutes
332 - Tim Horton's Pizza, Part 2

At great risk to my own personal safety, I uncover exactly who manufactures the pizza ovens currently being used by... more

27 Apr 2024 · 17 minutes
331 - Tim Horton's Pizza

In the first of a mult-part series on recent pizza developments in Canada, I investigate the addition of pizza to... more

24 Apr 2024 · 16 minutes
330 - Total Eclipse of the McDonald's Parking Lot

Special deputy journalist Karl (Up There in Canada) files a report from a Toronto-area McDonald's that happens to be in... more

12 Apr 2024 · 26 minutes
329 - Easter Egg Hunt

On a special Easter edition of the program, my plan to spread the Good News about McDonald's Pizza via Easter... more

31 Mar 2024 · 18 minutes
328 - Chicken Pizza Blessing

Upon learning that Chick-fil-A is now serving pizza, I seek to discover whether it is prepared in the same way... more

24 Mar 2024 · 17 minutes
327 - Dumpster Diving

To make sure McDonald's Pizza does not fall victim to rising fast food costs, I test a plan to secure... more

15 Mar 2024 · 17 minutes
326 - Declining to Run

After careful consideration, I have decided not to run for president of the United States, and I contact my journalist... more

09 Mar 2024 · 12 minutes
325 - Mea Culpa (My Bad)

Upon further review and contact from the KFC corporation's legal team, I issue some retractions and clarifications about statements I... more

01 Mar 2024 · 20 minutes
324 - Chizza

As KFC is poised to introduce a monstrous chicken/pizza hybrid product called the Chizza, I arrange to care for the... more

23 Feb 2024 · 18 minutes
323 - The Panzerotti

I go undercover to investigate the mysterious success of McDonald's Italy's pizza-like novelty called the panzerotti.

16 Feb 2024 · 15 minutes
322 - The View

I tell the tale of my visit to The View and the unfortunate encounter I had with Ms. Whoopi Goldberg.

09 Feb 2024 · 20 minutes
321 - Passing a Scottie

On the anniversary of the publication of the second edition of my board game, I suffer a medical emergency while... more

31 Jan 2024 · 16 minutes
320 - Pizza Polling

I incorporate a new company, Panoply Polling (a wholly owned subsidiary of Pizzaply Polling), to call people on the telephone... more

27 Jan 2024 · 16 minutes
319 - Medical Mystifier

At the risk of exposing personal details about the health of my bodily person, I reveal the reason why this... more

20 Jan 2024 · 20 minutes
318 - Crust to Crust AM: CosMc's

On my paranormal-themed sub-podcast Crust to Crust AM, I investigate the connection between McDonald's experimental new beverage restaurant CosMc's and... more

31 Dec 2023 · 20 minutes
317 - Christmastime in the City

On this special Christmas edition of the program, I debut a new poem about celebrating the birthday of Christ Ben-David... more

23 Dec 2023 · 11 minutes
316 - The Internship, Part 3: The Interviews

I interview one highly qualified candidate and one slightly less qualified candidate to be my new unpaid intern in charge... more

16 Dec 2023 · 36 minutes
315 - The Internship, Part 2

After being treated rudely by my colleagues in legacy media, I seek revenge by lodging an official complaint.

30 Nov 2023 · 15 minutes
314 - The Internship, Part 1

In this first of a special two-part episode(s), my search for an unpaid intern to help me cover the McDonald's... more

29 Nov 2023 · 15 minutes
313 - A Postmates Thanksgiving

On this day of Thanksgiving, I have trouble giving thanks to Postmates, who delivered my turkey in sub-optimal condition.

21 Nov 2023 · 14 minutes
312 - World Peace

I offer the United Nations my plan to end all wars if they agree to my terms re: McDonald's Pizza.

14 Nov 2023 · 14 minutes
311 - Selling Sawdust

In an effort to gain leverage over the McDonald's Corporation, I endeavor to supply them with cheap sawdust for use... more

31 Oct 2023 · 12 minutes
310 - A Ouija Halloween

On a special Halloween edition of the program, I seek spiritual/technical support for my malfunctioning Ouija board.

28 Oct 2023 · 22 minutes
309 - Taylor Swift's Ronald Costume

I am forced to travel far from home to investigate whether Taylor Swift dresses as Ronald McDonald's in her new... more

21 Oct 2023 · 22 minutes
308 - The Art of the Golden Arches

While visiting a famous painting of a woman in gold, I was surprised to discover the galerie offered no information... more

14 Oct 2023 · 13 minutes
307 - Thwarting Artificial Intelligence

Upon learning a certain social media mogul might want to use my book to train his artificial intelligence, I endeavor... more

30 Sep 2023 · 13 minutes
306 - Attack of the Clones

Concerned about who will inherit my investigative journalism empire, I pursue the possibility of cloning my own heir.

23 Sep 2023 · 15 minutes
305 - Jerking Soda

With McDonald's removing self-serve soda machines from their dining rooms, I call upon an expert in the art of jerking... more

17 Sep 2023 · 25 minutes
304 - Hacking McFlurry Machines

I am joined by my colleague, journalist Jason Koebler of 404 Media, who shares with me his reporting on the... more

01 Sep 2023 · 18 minutes
303 - Loki Sauce

Waning interest in superheroes means McDonald's is about to dump massive amounts of unsold Loki Season 2 branded sweet n'... more

11 Aug 2023 · 14 minutes
302 - Moving to New York City

I officially announce my relocation to New York City, a.k.a. Pizza Town, USA, and set up a briefing with one... more

01 Aug 2023 · 16 minutes
301 - Returning to Panoply

With the podcasting industry in financial ruins, I reclaim the abandoned trademark for the Panoply Network and reinstate my program... more

29 Jul 2023 · 20 minutes
300 - The Mystery of the McCafe Bakery, Part 2

Continuing my investigation into the disappearing items on the McCafe bakery menu, I travel to my local McDonald's to find... more

22 Jul 2023 · 28 minutes
299 - The Mystery of the McCafe Bakery, Part 1

McDonald's has pulled McCafe Bakery items from their menu. Is this history repeating itself? No, but I go undercover as... more

20 Jul 2023 · 17 minutes
298 - Addressing the Grimace Milkshake TikTok Trend

Disturbed by the recent Grimace's birthday milkshake TikTok trend's disrespect toward those who have actually passed away due to the... more

30 Jun 2023 · 12 minutes
297 - Understanding Fan Fiction

I attempt to understand a piece of McDonald's Pizza fan fiction involving characters from a popular "Japanimation" program.

27 Jun 2023 · 20 minutes
296 - Green Gut Powder

In the wake of the total collapse of the podcast advertising market, I seek a sponsorship from a popular purveyor... more

22 Jun 2023 · 24 minutes
295 - What is a Soul?

A Silicon Valley startup using robot labor to make pizzas has shut down. Before I purchase the automotons for my... more

14 Jun 2023 · 21 minutes
294 - Peering Into the Future

Because I have to prerecord this week's episode due to my recovery from major oral surgery, I employ the awesome... more

01 Jun 2023 · 15 minutes
293 - Securing the Legacy of Willow 2

As I prepare to undergo potentially fatal oral surgery, I arrange for my Willow 2: Through the Portal of Time... more

25 May 2023 · 12 minutes
292 - Coping with New York Times Audio

The local New York-area newspaper called The New York Times has released a new audio application that has dire consequences... more

19 May 2023 · 14 minutes
291 - Ending Child Labor at McDonald's

I reveal my plan to deincentivize child labor violations at McDonald's by teaching children the Good News about McDonald's Pizza... more

11 May 2023 · 21 minutes
290 - Season 2 of Pizzaply Media's "Evidence File" Premieres

In this special presentation of the season 2 premiere of Pizzaply Media's hit true crime podcast "Evidence File", the new... more

01 May 2023 · 19 minutes
289 - Miniature Witness Protection Program

After a round of high-level corporate layoffs, I enroll all "whistle-blowing" former executives in my miniature witness protection program.

25 Apr 2023 · 22 minutes
Episode 288 - Live from Boston College

A special presentation of my educational lecture delivered live at Boston College (one of the Boston colleges).

06 Apr 2023 · 1 hour,
Episode 287

Broadcasting live from the restroom of a public bus on my way to lecture in Boston, Massachusetts, I answer listener... more

28 Mar 2023 · 23 minutes
Episode 286

I open the proverbial "vault" and unleash a long lost episode of the program from days of yore.

25 Mar 2023 · 16 minutes
Episode 285

A congressman gives me an idea for how to purchase my own McDonald's franchise using farmed hogs.

15 Mar 2023 · 17 minutes
Announcing My Lecture at Boston College on 3/29

An announcement of my rare, in-person live lecture at Boston College on 3/29.

13 Mar 2023 · 1 minute
Episode 284

My colleagues at NPR allow me to rebroadcast a segment from their series StoryCorps about a poor moonshiner whose life... more

28 Feb 2023 · 16 minutes
Episode 283

On this emergency "breaking news" edition of the program, I investigate a bizarre request from former president Donald Trump, who... more

24 Feb 2023 · 13 minutes
Episode 282

I "catch up" on developments I missed re: artificial intelligence. In the process, I use an AI chatbot to help... more

17 Feb 2023 · 18 minutes
Episode 281

An investigation into a new McDonald's product called the New Tuna Cheesy Pizza Bread necessitates the answering of an oft-posed... more

13 Feb 2023 · 15 minutes
Episode 280

I attempt to forensically analyze an original Canadian McDonald's Pizza box I received as a gift from the editors of... more

01 Feb 2023 · 18 minutes
Episode 279

In an attempt to circumvent some Bic's Wite-Out based redactions on a sensitive McDonald's Pizza document I obtained from the... more

27 Jan 2023 · 17 minutes
Episode 278

I investigate the security implications of the McDonald's corporation sharing sensitive pizza secrets on the Tick Tock video platform.

20 Jan 2023 · 17 minutes
Episode 277

On the season three premiere of Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald's?, I am finally awarded a well-deserved award and... more

12 Jan 2023 · 22 minutes
Episode 276 - The 2022 Christmas Special: Part 2

In this touching conclusion to my 2022 Christmas Special, an old friend gives me a glimpse of a dark future... more

25 Dec 2022 · 31 minutes
Episode 275 - The 2022 Christmas Special: Part 1

In this first part of my 2022 Christmas special, I am stopped from following through on a dangerous aquatic activity... more

24 Dec 2022 · 20 minutes
Episode 274

In light of recent nuclear fusion discoveries, I protect myself against a potential explosive disaster by planning to construct a... more

20 Dec 2022 · 16 minutes
Episode 273

I expose some disturbing information about the host of a Hulu reality competition webseries about pizza making.

10 Dec 2022 · 22 minutes
Episode 272

I investigate some intriguing information (or, potentially, disinformation) about McDonald's Pizza recounted by a fellow journalist during the 2022 Macy's... more

01 Dec 2022 · 13 minutes
Episode 271

On this special Thanksgiving edition of the program, I offer a sample prayer to use with your family, provide some... more

24 Nov 2022 · 16 minutes
Episode 270

I investigate replacing the troubled Twitter.com service with the CB radio community. Plus, I announce a new Pizzaply Media program... more

11 Nov 2022 · 25 minutes
Episode 269

On this special Halloween edition of the program, I recount the story of a haunted McDonald's and make plans for... more

31 Oct 2022 · 14 minutes
Episode 268

I am refused spiritual guidance regarding the aftermath of my consumption of a marijuana cigarette.

28 Oct 2022 · 20 minutes
Episode 267

I investigate the new so-called "adult Happy Meals" by altering my consciousness with legal drugs.

20 Oct 2022 · 24 minutes
Episode 266

A listener does some deputy journalism in Brooklyn, and my investigation into a mysterious Facebook page leads me to the... more

07 Oct 2022 · 25 minutes
Episode 265

Continuing my investigation into the deranged McDonald's fans of Facebook, I explore a bizarre page devoted to the Mediterranean Sea... more

30 Sep 2022 · 19 minutes
Episode 264

Further investigation into the deranged minds behind strange comments on the official McDonald's Facebook page leads me down a darker... more

23 Sep 2022 · 14 minutes
Episode 263

I attempt to recreate a pizza-adjacent menu item from McDonald's Singapore by smashing a bag of snack mix with a... more

15 Sep 2022 · 21 minutes
Episode 262

I investigate shockingly similar and somewhat deranged comments beneath an historic post on the official McDonald's Facebook page.

08 Sep 2022 · 17 minutes
Episode 261

I investigate the introduction of pizza to the Tim Horton's menu.

31 Aug 2022 · 22 minutes
Episode 260

In my continuing quest to become a hacker so that I might be able to hack into McDonald's most secret... more

19 Aug 2022 · 19 minutes
Episode 259

I further my investigatory skills by seeking to become a hacker.

12 Aug 2022 · 18 minutes
Episode 258

Live from the parking lot of a McDonald’s.

07 Aug 2022 · 1 hour, 34 minutes
Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald's
Episode 266
Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald's

Listen now on

Apple Podcasts
Google Podcasts
Podcast Addict
Pocket Casts
Player FM
Podcast Republic


A listener does some deputy journalism in Brooklyn, and my investigation into a mysterious Facebook page leads me to the darkest wilderness... more