Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald's

Special deputy journalist Karl (Up There in Canada) files a report from a Toronto-area McDonald's that happens to be in the 2024 total solar eclipse's path of totality.

On a special Easter edition of the program, my plan to spread the Good News about McDonald's Pizza via Easter egg hunt is thwarted by an agent of the cloth.

Upon learning that Chick-fil-A is now serving pizza, I seek to discover whether it is prepared in the same way as the restaurant's standard menu items (blessed by Jesus Ben-David, a.k.a. The Christ).

To make sure McDonald's Pizza does not fall victim to rising fast food costs, I test a plan to secure a cheap pizza crust supply chain by fishing them out of dumpsters.

After careful consideration, I have decided not to run for president of the United States, and I contact my journalist colleagues to let them know why.

Upon further review and contact from the KFC corporation's legal team, I issue some retractions and clarifications about statements I made concerning the KFC Chizza.

As KFC is poised to introduce a monstrous chicken/pizza hybrid product called the Chizza, I arrange to care for the poor victims who may be affected.

I go undercover to investigate the mysterious success of McDonald's Italy's pizza-like novelty called the panzerotti.

I tell the tale of my visit to The View and the unfortunate encounter I had with Ms. Whoopi Goldberg.

On the anniversary of the publication of the second edition of my board game, I suffer a medical emergency while comparing my game to a popular competitor called Monopoly.