The Pleasure Podcast

The Pleasure Podcast

Naomi Sheldon and Anand Patel
May 18, 2020 37 min

S3, Ep 10 Teddy Lamb: Trans and Gender Euphoric

It’s the season finale! Our guest sends us off with hope and solidarity. We welcome femme non-binary trans writer and performer Teddy Lamb. I first spotted Teddy roaming around Soho with pink hair,…frills, and a prominent, sexy moustache. The combination felt somehow audacious and I’ve been longing to speak to them about gender and identity ever since.… Teddy was using they/them pronouns long before being non-binary was even part of their vocabulary. They describe theirs as a gender rather than a sexuality story. But their pansexuality and description of the joy of T for T sex leaves us marvelling at how much there is to learn from the trans community when it comes to consent and empathy in sex. This interview was recorded the day after Liz Truss, the Minister for women and equalities, announced her plans to prioritise single-sex spaces, protect children from irreversible decisions about gender and potentially rename the ministry, the ministry of freedom. Teddy explains why this these speeches are so damaging and how in the UK, while the most likely to be vulnerable, trans people have little support. With no legal recognition for being non-binary, a 2-3 year wait for surgery, speech therapy, and counselling trans people are dying as they wait. Teddy describes the physical response to being misgendered, of finding gender euphoria, and why they are only sleeping with trans people for now. We look at the radical power of trans body hair, and how much there is to learn from the young members of the LGBTQ+ community. Their show Since You’ve Been Gone, a glorious autobiographical account of growing up queer in the 90s and of finding yourself whilst dealing with loss, was an Edinburgh hit. Pleasure Podcast listeners can watch the show until the 24th May using the password PleasureTeddy here: https://vimeo.com/419525480 If you have been affected by any of the issues discussed please take a look at the following: Petition against Liz Truss’s words:…http://chng.it/nYdKs6qZ7q Gendered intelligence:…http://genderedintelligence.co.uk/ Find out more about Teddy at teddylamb.com CW: assault and transphobia. We would love to hear from you: email us at…[email protected]…or tweet us…@ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us! Social Media: Teddy Lamb: @TheTeddyLamb Naomi Sheldon:…@NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel:…@therealdranand Follow us at…@ThePleasurePod…and visit us at…www.thepleasurepodcast.com See you soon for a sparkling season 4 and in the meantime, stay safe - it has truly been our pleasure. 
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May 11, 2020 31 min

S3, Ep 9 Alex Cowan: Sex and Skydiving - Looking Beyond Disability

Today we welcome Alex Cowan, a leading disability activist, performer and writer challenging the sexual erasure of differently abled people around the world. Alex has been a real pioneer, In 2014 she appeared in Alternative Miss World - their first contestant in a wheelchair, and appeared on Channel 4 discussing her relationship with her husband. She was the first disabled person to attend the world-renowned European Society of Sexual Medicine Summer school and has worked with Alistair Morrison, photographer to Hollywood royalty, reinterpreting the iconic Christine Keeler photos replacing the Arne Jacobsen chair with her wheelchair.… Alex developed Multiple Sclerosis in her late teens and documents her journey (with the man that eventually became her boyfriend and now husband) as the effects of illness changed and challenged her body, her self-view and her relationships. Alex describes what that has meant for her ability to physically navigate sex when disability meets ageing. We talk about the frustration of friends presuming she’s celibate as if disability changed who she was as a person and shares how a really low point triggered the need to shock herself out of her despair - and so she jumped out of a plane!… We discuss the importance of sex workers in helping provide intimacy and physical contact when the dating scene can be significantly more challenging to negotiate, let alone finding suitable accessible spaces for disabled people to meet. Read her writing for Good Housekeeping and see more of those Alistair Morrison photographs here:…https://100stories.leonardcheshire.org/changing-perceptions/ Thank you to Alex for this inspiring conversation that reminds us again to see the person rather than the disability and providing practical tips on how to keep a sexual relationship going with a differently abled body. Just a little note that Naomi had to pop out for the last part of the interview, in case you’re wondering why she goes quiet later on! Alex kindly supplied the following list of super-helpful books and links: - The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability (Kaufman, Silverberg and Odette) Informative and helpful guidance exercises and tips geared towards physical disability. - Mind the Gap: The Truth about Desire, and How to Futureproof your Sex Life, by Dr Karen Gurney (who appeared on Episode 5!) A great book on sex and desire, interesting, practical, scientific and straight-talking, with lots of helpful information, studies shedding new light on sex, sexuality and sexual functioning, and tips. See her also on www.instagram.com/thesexdoctor… - Supporting Disabled People with Their Sexual Lives - A Clear Guide for Health and Social Care Professionals, by Tuppy Owens with Claire de Than (Jessica Kingsley) Tuppy Owens…is a UK pioneer in disability and sex, running Outsiders which supports disabled people to find partners, the Sex and Disability Helpline, and the Sexual Health & Disability Alliance (SHADA). Claire de Than is a professor, law commissioner and author. - Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel … A challenging and enlightening book that "invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home." - Come As You Are, by Dr Emily Nagoski "The surprising new science that will transform your sex life." Gets even more practical with the companion Come As You Are Workbook. - A Practical Guide to Sex: Finally, Helpful Sex Advice!, by Meg John Barker and Justin Hancock Does what it says on the cover! - Women, Sexuality and the Political Power of Pleasure (Zed Books), Chapter 6: "Enabling Disabled People to Have and Enjoy the Kind of Sexuality They Want", by L Couldrick & A Cowan… - Desires Reborn, by Penny Pepper A wonderful book of erotic short stories featuring disabled characters. - www.school-of-sex.info A very comprehensive, informative and practical resource for disabled people with con...
May 04, 2020 47 min

S3, Ep 8 Charlotte Josephine: The Joy of Queer Sex

Hello! Today we welcome award-winning actor and writer Charlotte Josephine onto The Pleasure Podcast. …I’m delighted to introduce our listeners to Charlie, they are one of my personal heroes having given me the strength and permission to write when I was just setting out and they were already on the way to prolific playwrighting.…They swept onto the theatre scene with solo show Bitch Boxer which won the Soho Theatre Writers award and is now being adapted for film. The host of plays which followed have received awards, huge praise and sell out houses. They recently played a queer Mercutio for the RSC’s Romeo and Juliet – a role which became significant for them both on and off stage. Charlie started to identify as non-binary two years ago after having felt they’d failed at womanhood the whole of their lives. They join us to talk about shedding the label of she and the therapy and self-interrogation that got them there. We discuss the rules that come with being assigned female at birth and how writing has helped them to be comfortable in their own skin. Charlie has been sober and in food recovery for years. They describe how sobriety has allowed them to enter a sexual revolution and what queer sex can teach us all about good sex. And it’s a lot. We look at the ripple effect that bad and good sex can have in the wider world and why representation of queer people is so important. Thank you Charlie for your honest, present and playful words that will help so many other people in finding out who they are. Flies is being made with @boundlessabound and Birds And Bees with @TCLive which can be found HERE We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at…[email protected]…or tweet us…@ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us! Social Media: Charlotte Josephone: @charlotte_j_b Naomi Sheldon:…@NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel:…@therealdranand Follow us at…@ThePleasurePod…and visit us at…www.thepleasurepodcast.com 
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Apr 27, 2020 39 min

S3, ep 7 Marisa Bate: How to Recognise and Survive Domestic Abuse

Today we welcome journalist, author and feminist trailblazer Marisa Bate. Marisa was one of the founding members of The Pool and writes extensively about domestic violence. Issues that affect women’s lives are at the forefront of her writing, whether that be in Grazia, The Guardian, The Independent, Cosmopolitan – the list goes on. Her journalism is prolific, smart, hard hitting and very, very moving. …Anytime that families are together for long periods without normal routine, domestic abuse goes up…throw in alcohol, stress, it’s no wonder that during lockdown the phone lines for Refuge and Women’s Aid have been so busy. We talk to Marisa about how domestic abuse is being spoken about more widely than ever before. The Archers Big Little Lies, and now Rhianna are discussing what used to be a very private, shameful occurrence. We explore what economic abuse is, how reproductive coercion can go undetected and why a culture of fancying the bad boy can be so damaging. We hear the ways in which countries around the world are trying to support and protect victims of sexual abuse. From code words in grocery stores in France to alcohol bans in Greenland. And Marisa advises us on what to do if you recognise abusive behaviour during lockdown and beyond. And why, if you hear anything worrying next door, you should always call the police. CW: Domestic violence, abuse Marisa’s brilliant book The Periodic Table of Feminism is an essential guide to the feminist movement and the often-unsung international figures who’ve shaped it. It was published by Penguin and is available from all good bookstores. More of her work on domestic violence can be found in Vogue.co.uk. She has covered economic…abuse for the…Guardian,…Woman's Hour,…The i Paper and how abusers manipulate the…Child Maintenance…Service. She recently wrote about lack of support for children who witnessed…Domestic Violence and now live with the consequences. https://inews.co.uk/opinion/i-had-to-grow-up-so-quick-how-witnessing-domestic-abuse-as-a-child-affected-me-as-an-adult-1342276 And here is her article on reproductive coercion We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at…[email protected]…or tweet us…@ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us! Social Media: Marisa Bate: @Marisajbate Naomi Sheldon:…@NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel:…@therealdranand Follow us at…@ThePleasurePod…and visit us at…www.thepleasurepodcast.com If you or anyone you know have been affected by the issues in this episode please seek help using the following resources. Refuge - https://www.refuge.org.uk/ Women’s Aid -…https://www.womensaid.org.uk/ Men’s Advice Line -…https://mensadviceline.org.uk/ Galop (LGBT Domestic Violence Helpline) -…https://www.galop.org.uk/domesticabuse/ The Freedom Programme - For Men and Women -…https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/ Tender - https://tender.org.uk/ MIND -…www.mind.org.uk Childline - 0800 1111…https://www.childline.org.uk/ Young Minds -…www.youngminds.org.uk Age UK -…https://www.ageuk.org.uk/ Mind Out (LGBTQ+) –…https://www.mindout.org.uk/ 
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Apr 20, 2020 52 min

S3, Ep 6 Susan Wokoma: Narcissistic Relationships

In this episode we welcome a multi-talented actor, writer, and regular co-host of The Guilty Feminist, she’s genuine, warm, and ferociously loyal to her friends, she’s one of my favourite people, it’s stage and screen’s Susan Wokoma. Suzie was named one of Forbes 30 under 30 in 2017 and a BAFTA breakthrough brit in the same year. Her breakthrough role as Cynthia in Chewing Gum firmly put her on the map as one the UK’s most brilliant comedy actors and she continues to bring huge depth and generosity to all of her roles. You can see her right now in All4’s Year of the Rabbit and in Truth Seekers, a new Amazon Prime series out later this year. Suzie opens up about a long-term relationship she had with a partner who she has since identified as a narcissist. In the interests of anonymity, they are never named. None of us are psychotherapists in this ep, but we have all encountered narcissists on various ends of the spectrum. We discuss how gaslighting and other narcissist techniques of manipulation and control can throw your sense of reality out of orbit and erode your all-important gut instinct. We look at how to identify a narcissist and what to do if your friends or you suspect you’re in a relationship with one. She throws light on the intersectionality of what a victim is and isn’t allowed to look like in society and how this might particularly prevent black women being taken seriously when it comes to abusive relationships. Suzie is incredibly brave and eloquent in this interview and she hopes that if even one person if helped by her sharing her experiences, then it’s a job well done. And we agree. Oh, and always beware when someone tells you their ex-girlfriend crazy. It may just be a red flag. Suzie’s short film for Sky about her mother’s obsession with, and grief at Princess Diana’s death, Love the Sinner is at once both hilarious and moving. You can watch it HERE. Suzie was also part of the writer’s room for the second series of Sex Education. … We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at…[email protected]…or tweet us…@ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us! Social Media: Susan Wokoma: @susan_wokoma Naomi Sheldon:…@NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel:…@therealdranand Follow us at…@ThePleasurePod…and visit us at…www.thepleasurepodcast.com If you or anyone you know has experienced an abusive relationship, please look at the following resources: https://www.cosrt.org.uk…Relationship and sexual function therapists MIND -…www.mind.org.uk Childline - 0800 1111…https://www.childline.org.uk/ Young Minds -…www.youngminds.org.uk Age UK -…https://www.ageuk.org.uk/ Mind Out (LGBTQ+) –…https://www.mindout.org.uk/ Anxiety UK -…https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/ Depression Alliance -…https://www.depressionalliance.org/ Emotional Abuse and Domestic Violence Women’s Aid -…https://www.womensaid.org.uk/ Men’s Advice Line -…https://mensadviceline.org.uk/ Galop (LGBT Domestic Violence Helpline) -…https://www.galop.org.uk/domesticabuse/ The Freedom Programme – For Men and Women -…https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/ Respect - For Men -…http://respect.uk.net/ … 
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Apr 13, 2020 38 min

SPECIAL EPISODE! S3, Ep5 Dr Karen Gurney: Love in Lockdown

It's an emergency isolation episode! We welcome clinical psychologist and psychosexologist Dr Karen Gurney. Karen joins us in these extraordinary times to talk about sex, pleasure and relationships during this pandemic. How we can manage our anxiety and maintain our intimacy whilst distancing ourselves from others. This is a practical conversation with lots of tips and tricks for us all, whatever our sexuality or gender, whether living on our own, apart from our loved ones, in couples, in house shares or back home with less than supportive families. Karen is lead psychosexual therapist for 56 Dean Street (NHS) and director of The Havelock Clinic, an independent sexual problems clinic based in London. She teaches nationally and has written for and featured in Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan and Refinery29 and completed her first TEDx talk in Feb 2020. She is also the UK ambassador for…www.thepornconversation.org…- a not-for-profit initiative set up by Erika Lust designed to help parents and carers talk to young people about porn use. Karen’s book ‘Mind the Gap: The Truth About Desire And How To Futureproof Your Sex Life’ by Headline Home was launched in March 2020 and is available from Amazon, Waterstones and independent bookstores. Karen has kindly shared the following free resources for you to use: https://havelockonlineworkshops.teachable.com/p/how-to-harness-the-power-of-your-brain-to-improve-your-sex-life You can find the ‘Understanding your conditions for good sex’ exercise…at: https://thehavelockclinic.com/resources/ … We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at…[email protected]…or tweet us…@ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us! Social Media: Dr Karen Gurney: @karengurney5 on Twitter and @thesexdoctor on Instagram Naomi Sheldon:…@NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel:…@therealdranand Follow us at…@ThePleasurePod…and visit us at…www.thepleasurepodcast.com This episode is sponsored YES, The Organic Intimacy Experts If you or someone you know has been affected by mental health issues or domestic violence at this difficult time, please consider the following charities: Mental Health Every Mind Matters…https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/ Mental Health Foundation https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/ Shout - Free text message support…https://www.giveusashout.org/ Samaritans - 116123…www.samaritans.org Rethink - https://www.rethink.org/ MIND - www.mind.org.uk Domestic Violence Women’s Aid - https://www.womensaid.org.uk/ Men’s Advice Line - https://mensadviceline.org.uk/ Galop (LGBT Domestic Violence Helpline) - https://www.galop.org.uk/domesticabuse/ The Freedom Programme – For Men and Women - https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/ Respect - For Men - http://respect.uk.net/ … 
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Apr 06, 2020 30 min

S3, Ep 4 Leïla Slimani: Sex, Lies and Morocco's fight for feminism

In this episode of The Pleasure Podcast we welcome Leïla Slimani. She was the first Moroccan woman to win France’s most prestigious literary prize, the Prix Goncourt, which she won for…Lullaby.…A journalist and frequent commentator on women’s and human rights, she is French president Emmanuel Macron’s personal representative for the promotion of the French language and culture.… We speak to Leila about her collection of essays Sex and Lies which examine the sex lives of women in Morocco.… In these essays…Slimani…gives voice to young Moroccan women grappling with a conservative culture that at once condemns and commodifies sex. In a country where the law punishes and outlaws all forms of sex outside marriage, as well as homosexuality and prostitution, women have only two options for their sexual identities: virgin or wife.… We discuss what it was like growing up in a liberal family within a deeply conservative society. Misconceptions about sex and sexism in Islam. And whether we can ever know who we are when our country has been colonised. She asks if it’s possible for the people of Morocco to rediscover their own culture away from the impact of colonialism and if so, whether that would be a more tender, affectionate, and honest way to live. Sex and Lies…confronts Morocco's hypocrisy of sexual values and is a vibrant appeal for the universal freedom to be, to love and to desire. Sex and Lies is published by Faber and Faber and is available HERE We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at…[email protected]…or tweet us…@ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us! Social Media: Naomi Sheldon:…@NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel:…@therealdranand Follow us at…@ThePleasurePod…and visit us at…www.thepleasurepodcast.com … 
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Mar 30, 2020 44 min

S3, Ep 3 Richard Gadd: Art and Sex after Trauma

This week of The Pleasure Podcast we welcome the award-winning comedian, actor and writer Richard Gadd. In 2016 he won the esteemed Edinburgh comedy award, with Monkey See Monkey Do, a raw, personal account about his sexual assault. It was a performance which pushed the boundaries of comedy and which felt monumentally cathartic for its win. In 2019 his first solo theatre show Baby Reindeer was the talk of Edinburgh. In it he relives his experience of being stalked by a woman with a dangerous obsession with him, about wrestling with his sexuality, and trying to come to terms with his assault. We speak about the effects of growing up in an uber masculine world where you thank God you’re not gay, and sex ed was devoid of condoms. He speaks about the sexual abuse and grooming which threw his relationship with sex out of orbit. And of the erectile dysfunction that followed which destroyed relationships and his confidence. The dissociation that followed felt at odds with his happy teenage years and the cost was his loss of the ability to be vulnerable and intimate throughout this period of deep pain. Richard tells us how he has been able to approach sex and intimacy again. And how his deeply personal shows have been part of that healing process. He describes what drives a person to make a show about their trauma and what the effect is when you thought it might ruin you but in fact launched you into a whole new dazzling chapter of your career. The emotional and psychological honesty of Richard’s work is astonishing. How he tackles the source of his trauma and his evolving understanding of his own masculinity is truly breath taking. CW: There are some subjects which we cover that listeners might find disturbing: Sexual Abuse, Stalking. Follow Richard on social media @MrRichardGadd for more information on his shows and upcoming dates. We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at…[email protected]…or tweet us…@ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us! Social Media: Naomi Sheldon:…@NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel:…@therealdranand Richard Gadd: @MrRichardGadd Follow us at…@ThePleasurePod…and visit us at…www.thepleasurepodcast.com 
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Mar 23, 2020 57 min

S3, Ep 2 Stephanie Yeboah: Dating and (Self) Love When You're Big, Black and Beautiful

Welcome to episode 2 of The Pleasure Podcast. This week we speak to multi-award winning, plus size style blogger, journalist, and author Stephanie Yeboah. This year she was the cover girl on Glamour’s self-love issue. And on Instagram she is making waves celebrating the bodies of plus size, black women. Her sexy, witty, and insightful posts redefine accepted beauty standards and challenge the co-option of body positivity by socially acceptable white bodies. Stephanie has experienced racism and fat-phobia from a young age, from being bullied at school to being fetishized and objectified in her romantic life. The way she flies in the face of these discriminations by creating a positive space for change is awe inspiring. Her Instagram page is testament to this. Check out her beautiful pictures HERE Stephanie speaks to us about navigating life and dating as a black, plus-sized woman and how she and others can manage to find self-acceptance when judgement and discrimination are still so rife. Stephanie’s book Fattily Ever After: The Black Girl’s Guide To Living Unapologetically will be published by Hardie Grant Books on the 3rd of September. It’s a love letter to plus size black women. You can pre-order a copy on her website stephanieyeboah.com. CW: There are some subjects which we cover that listeners might find disturbing: Racism, Sexual Abuse, Violence. We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at…[email protected]…or tweet us…@ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us! Social Media: Naomi Sheldon:…@NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel:…@therealdranand Stephanie Yeboah: @StephanieYeboah Follow us at…@ThePleasurePod…and visit us at…www.thepleasurepodcast.com 
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Mar 16, 2020 1 hr 0 min

S3, Ep 1 Emma Thompson: Pleasure is Political

We're baaaaack! Welcome to Season 3 of The Pleasure Podcast. We're kicking off with a woman who needs little introduction. I think it's fair to say she is the nation's sweetheart. And not just because she speaks openly about bonking Jeff Goldblum with a piece of toast stuck to her bum (onscreen). Some of you may have grown up with her in Nanny Mcphee, had your hearts broken by her in THAT SCENE in Love Actually, or fell in love with her in Sense and Sensibility, Howards End, Last Christmas, or.... the list goes on. Alongside her screen acting she is known for her outspokeness, her activism, and being a general all round excellent egg. She's the only person to have won Academy Awards for both acting and writing, it's DAME EMMA THOMPSON! We spoke to Emma about how to come back to our instincts when it comes to erotica and pleasure, the sex handbook she made her daughter, why it's important never to shame your sister if you catch her wanking, and the resistance against being squashed into shapes that society wants you to be. Her take on the subtle yet ferocious power of hormones quietly blew our minds. Emma's astute ability to understand human behaviour is astonishing, and at times she becomes our therapist fit to rival Esther Perel. We hope this conversation inspires you, gets your brain box buzzing, and helps you (just a little) to come back to what pleasure means to you. We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at…[email protected]…or tweet us…@ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us! Social Media: Naomi Sheldon:…@NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel:…@therealdranand Follow us at…@ThePleasurePod…and visit us at…www.thepleasurepodcast.com 
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The Pleasure Podcast
Genre
Sexuality
Episodes
29
Frequency
Weekly podcast
Website
thepleasurepodcast.com