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The New Ark
The New Ark
Elliot Connor & Joe Wilkins

Fun fact: the Earth's about to explode. So we've launched The New Ark podcast to pick which animals to save, sailing through... more

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Episodes

Sloths

In this 10-year-old's wet dream of an episode, we talk about poo smells, sex screams and sliding down poles. You... more

24 Mar 2023 · 37 minutes
Snails

Snails. They're like slugs with houses. Or seahorses after 15 minutes in the blender. Or sloths if you're Joe. So... more

17 Mar 2023 · 43 minutes
Tardigrades

This episode: tardigrades, the tiny little indestructible micro-bears with eight legs and a vacuum cleaner bag body. Why tardigrades? You... more

10 Mar 2023 · 35 minutes
Sharks

You asked, we answered! Rattling off your audience requests to kick off TNA series 2, we're taking sharks to town.... more

03 Mar 2023 · 42 minutes
Rhinos

Earth hasn't exploded (yet) so we're back! Well... Elliot is. Saf got eaten by fungi and in his place it's... more

24 Feb 2023 · 54 minutes
Frofunsnak

The royal rumble rematch: closing out The New Ark series 1 in style with a three-way showdown between frogs, snakes... more

07 Jun 2022 · 54 minutes
Jaguars

Is Black Panther any good? What the f*** is a panther anyways? In the series' penultimate episode, we take a... more

31 May 2022 · 47 minutes
Meerkats

Saf's chance to take his revenge on cats being left for the coming apocalypse. Elliot's chance to rant about annoying... more

24 May 2022 · 41 minutes
Earthworms

This episode, Darwin and God team up to help worms worm their way on board. Elliot resorts to Star Wars'... more

17 May 2022 · 53 minutes
Chameleons

This episode: a starfish of chameleons in an aquarium. Also Saf misspells chameleon. Elliot plays the race card and reveals... more

10 May 2022 · 51 minutes
Bears

So they killed 26 little children in the Bible, but never mind- bears are great, right? Then again, how did... more

03 May 2022 · 51 minutes
Bees

In this un-bee-lievably bee-eautiful episode, the honey-tongued Saf defends bees against Elliot's lambasts. Inventors of democracy or imperialist autocracy? Hive... more

26 Apr 2022 · 57 minutes
Wolves

How do you catch a wolf with one hand down its throat? Listen in to find out. Fairy tale villains... more

19 Apr 2022 · 51 minutes
Fungi

Saf's been eaten by fungi and now they're here to claim their mouldy old spot on the ark. They're not... more

12 Apr 2022 · 42 minutes
Bats

They rhyme with cats, which is always a bad omen, but will bats make it on the ark? Only time... more

05 Apr 2022 · 51 minutes
Raccoons

Raccoons are obese good-for-nothing big black-and-white rats. Or are they? In this marvellous episode, Elliot fails abysmally to find a... more

29 Mar 2022 · 58 minutes
Anglerfish

Anglerfish: dope or deep sea shit? Rapists or celibate saints? Slave drivers or shining beacons of hope? In the first... more

22 Mar 2022 · 53 minutes
Girpigeodile

Welcome to the inaugural Royal Rumble. Up for debate this week: not one but three animals which you the audience... more

15 Mar 2022 · 42 minutes
Snakes

Thisssss week: it'sssss dessseption and ssssnake oil for our sssssslithering animal guesssssst. Prepare for ssssssibilance galore as Elliot revels in... more

08 Mar 2022 · 1 hour,
Armadillos

This week: armoured dildos... oops- damn autocorrect! This week: armadillos!! Leprosied lunatics and cancerous cretins, these creatures' reputations take one... more

01 Mar 2022 · 47 minutes
The New Ark
Fungi
The New Ark
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Listen now on

Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Google Podcasts
Overcast
Podcast Addict
Pocket Casts
Castbox
Stitcher
Podbean
iHeartRadio
Player FM
Podcast Republic
Castro
RadioPublic
RSS

Description

Saf's been eaten by fungi and now they're here to claim their mouldy old spot on the ark. They're not even animals... more