The Save The Marriage Podcast
Learn how to save your marriage and improve your relationship. Stop your divorce and restore a loving relationship. Join Dr. Lee H. Baucom for this impactful podcast that can save your marriage.
Episodes
May 8, 2024 • 21 mins
Many people tell me of their desperation to find intimacy -- and their sadness over not having it in their marriage.
But is it possible to find that intimacy? Is there a path to intimacy in your marriage??
There are choices people make... that often lead them away from intimacy -- not toward it! This isn't on purpose. They just don't know better.
The path to intimacy may not be something you learned -- or even saw in relation...
Mark as Played
May 2, 2024 • 10 mins
You hit the Pause Button on your marriage. I get it. You didn't realize you were doing it, and didn't know it was a problem. You just thought you were dealing with life -- the kids, a career, activities... life.
But while you didn't know it was a problem, it is. In fact, it is the big reason that marriages get into trouble. Yes, there are lots of symptoms of the problem. The underlying problem, though, is disconnection... fr...
Mark as Played
April 24, 2024 • 21 mins
Yes, this is the #1 thing people request in therapy. And no, fixing it will not fix your marriage.
This is part rant, part warning, and part explanation. Because, communication skills has somehow become a central tenet of hurting marriages. So, therapists teach them, clients request them, and marriages just don't get better.
When I was in training, this somehow became the default approach, even after all the theory and explanat...
Mark as Played
April 3, 2024 • 27 mins
For awhile, I have been answering listener-submitted questions, and continue to do so in this episode (if YOU want to ask a question, send it to podcast@savethemarriage.com).
This week, I respond to a couple of questions about a spouse's indifference and/or resistance to attempts at connection.
It can be frustrating when you so desperately want to rebuild a marriage. Maybe your spouse claims to want the same. Maybe your spouse ...
Mark as Played
March 27, 2024 • 17 mins
Where could your efforts fail?
Those are the failpoints. They can trip you up and make you think nothing will work in your efforts.
But let me be clear. They are potential failpoints. They are not inevitable.
Failpoints, in engineering, is caused by stress on a particular point. In machines, a particular piece is stressed long enough that it finally gives. It breaks.
In marriage, there are also potential failpoints -- caused b...
Mark as Played
March 21, 2024 • 22 mins
When I started this podcast over 10 years ago, I wondered how far we would go. Well, here we are on episode 500, with over 5.25 million downloads to far. And at the same time, I celebrate 58 years on earth. A couple of milestones I wanted to mark, for sure!
Which raises the question from a listener, on what I have learned in life. I’ll share 5 big things I’ve learned in my trips around the sun.
But before I get there, I thought I...
Mark as Played
March 13, 2024 • 19 mins
Let's just say that the bumper sticker, "I used to be cool," has nothing to do with me. I was not cool. I was more the nerdy kid. And to be honest, I'm not sure I have really outgrown that.
In my teen years, I was a magician. My friends were magicians, jugglers, clowns, ventriloquists, and carneys. I even started a magic club at my high school. And no, the cool kids did not show up for it. Ever.
But I will tell you one thing abou...
Mark as Played
March 7, 2024 • 22 mins
Sometimes, just a hint or trick will do it. Maybe you want a trick or hint for an online game. Or even a trick for a better pancake. A hint for a better pushup.
But hints and tricks won’t work for saving a marriage.
Which is what I try to explain when I get the daily emails and voicemails, just asking for a hint or trick. Nothing wrong with asking. But the answer is, “you need more than a hint or trick. You need an approach...
Mark as Played
February 28, 2024 • 14 mins
Your marriage is in trouble, and you know you need help. But what type of help? And how do you know if it is the right help for your marriage? Tough question. And I can't answer it.
But I can help you get the answer.
I created a guide to help you find the best help, whether it is therapy, coaching, a retreat or workshop, or an online course. I tell you the pros and cons of each, along with the ways to find the right fit for y...
Mark as Played
February 21, 2024 • 20 mins
I know. I say it all the time. Connection is crucial -- even critical -- for the health and survival of your marriage.
But what if there is a trap... a Connection Trap?
Guess what?
There IS!
On this week's podcast, I answer "D's" question about their stuck place. She names what she thinks are the 3 C's that must be there for a strong marriage. She names Commitment, Connectivity, and Chemistry. Those aren't bad choices. They jus...
Mark as Played
February 14, 2024 • 20 mins
The Pause Button. You didn't know you hit it. But you probably did.
"We'll get back to each other after the kids/ promotion/ travels/ hobbies/ events/ friends... (well, you get the idea)."
AFTER life, we will get back to love.
There is only one problem. Relationships are either growing or receding, strengthening or weakening.
There IS no pause.
When you hit the Pause-Button, you are... even without realizing it... choosing ...
Mark as Played
January 24, 2024 • 23 mins
Saving your marriage is important. But not always easy. Isn't that a truth in life, though? What is easy is rarely important. And what is important is worth the effort.
There are some things that can make your process of saving your marriage a bit more complicated though.
Not impossible.
Just more complicated.
While there are others, I cover seven different complicators in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast. If you ...
Mark as Played
January 17, 2024 • 27 mins
Many people are struggling with depression. And they find themselves in the midst of a marriage crisis. So, what does depression mean for those situations? How does depression affects a marriage. Does depression cause a crisis? Or do people get depressed because of the crisis? Or... and this is more central to the question... how do you deal with depression and a marriage crisis?
Depression is a reality for many people. And de...
Mark as Played
December 20, 2023 • 14 mins
Do you settle down with a good book you have read over and over this time of year? I read my kids the exact same Christmas book every single year. And many years, I re-read a classic for myself… like A Christmas Carol. This year, I offer you a redux of a prior podcast episode… about the Ghosts of Your Relationship Past. Yep. Christmas, with new opportunities. Here it is:
Christmas Eve. Chris and Holly have settled into be...
Mark as Played
December 13, 2023 • 23 mins
Several podcast listeners have asked why a spouse only remembers the negative, or only dwells on the negative. Why don't they remember the good times or see the good things? Why does it feel like they only see the negative?
Over the years, I have noticed this as a recurring and common issue in your efforts to save your marriage. A spouse's thoughts just stay on the negative. Maybe thinking about what is going on now or remember...
Mark as Played
December 6, 2023 • 21 mins
"A" has been trying to set boundaries with her husband. Trying to get the treatment she deserves. Trying to get the relationship to a healthy spot.
But then, her spouse throws a little shade her way... rolling eyes, using a demeaning tone. What should she do to set a boundary on that?, she asks
In this case, A has a good hold on what to do when, say, her spouse raises his voice or calls her names. But what about those less-cl...
Mark as Played
November 29, 2023 • 29 mins
Surely you can convince your spouse to work on your marriage… right? Yes, your marriage is in crisis. But if you say the right thing… or say it in the right way… or convince, beg, cajole, argue, and somehow shift their thinking, then you can save your marriage. Right?
Not so fast.
Usually, all of the above leads to more resistance. Not less. It does not lead to connection and healing, but more stand-off. More insistence tha...
Mark as Played
November 21, 2023 • 16 mins
When life is hard, Holidays can feel heavy. When there is a marriage crisis, it can be tough to muster the energy to even move forward — especially when all the commercials and movies push the “merry and bright” of a mythic holiday.
And here we are, on the cusp of the Holiday season! It cuts across nations and beliefs. The season is here.
A client recently told me, “I just want to crawl into bed and get up on January 2nd."
Wh...
Mark as Played
November 15, 2023 • 17 mins
Sounds so philosophical, doesn't it? Your "created past." What is that?
We all do it. We remember things based on our emotional state, not on what happened. When someone hurts us, we think back on the other times they hurt us. When someone is kind and loving, we think back on the other loving times.
When a couple is connected, they remember connection. When they are disconnected, they remember disconnection.
We rewrite the ...
Mark as Played
November 8, 2023 • 22 mins
Phil asked, "How do you know you are making progress?" And perhaps fearing that the signs point the other way, he also asked, "how long is long enough to be trying before it is unhealthy for me."
Those are two great, if somewhat polarized, questions. They point to fears of not being able to save a relationship. What to look for? And what to do if those signs are not there?
This can be a bit like staring into the crystal ball....
Mark as Played
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