Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse

Do you ever have a right to tell your partner what they can and can’t do? Is it ever okay to threaten to leave a relationship if the other person doesn’t change a behavior you don’t like? Where is the line between communicating needs and exerting control over your partner? Power and control is at the heart of unhealthy relationships, but it’s not always easy to recognize. This episode analyzes all aspects of power and control so listeners can begin to recognize these signs in their relationships or their loved ones relationships. VIDEO CONTENT: (0:00) Introduction (01:51) What Is Power and Control? (5:25) Coercion and Threats (10:02) Control & Threatening to Leave (12:31) Intimidation(22:23) Emotional Abuse (27:08) The Cycle of Violence (28:17) Isolation (35:05) Denying, Minimizing, and Blaming (42:54) Using Children to Maintain Control(45:32) Status Abuse(48:43) Financial Abuse (53:54) Equality in Relationships (54:46) Physical and Sexual Violence (55:58) Putting It All Together (1:00:28) About JBWS & Resources Power and Control Wheel Equality WheelWhat Does Emotional Abuse Look and Feel Like? Resources: If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services.If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnv.⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Do you consider consent when brushing your hand against someone's back at the bar? Do you think about it before hugging someone who is in tears? Too often, we only think about consent in regards to sexual activity, but it's something we should consider daily.In this episode of Unsilenced, Maria Lagattuta explores:What consent looks like in all relationshipsHow victims of abuse frequently don't have much consent in their relationshipsHow nonconsensual activities can negatively impact victims of abuseHow people cannot consent to activities that could kill them, such as choking during sexAnd how people can practice noticing when something feels consensual to themCONTENT:(0:00) Introduction(1:30) Is Consent Always Sexual? (2:45) Nonsexual Forms of Consent(6:06) Emotional Consent(8:01) What Consent Does and Doesn't Look Like(10:00) The Lack of No Doesn't Mean Yes(11:23) Arousal Doesn't Mean Always Imply Consent (12:45) How Is Consent Used in Power and Control? (19:57) Learning to Recognize Consent in Yourself (21:53) Victims Don't Consent to Abuse (26:15) Can Choking During Sex Be Consensual? (34:46) Consent in Daily Life (40:29) About JBWS & Resources Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Imagine a woman who has endured emotional, physical, or sexual abuse for years. Her husband has isolated her from family and friends, restricted her finances, and harms her every day. If this woman then physically hurts her partner – is she seen as abusive? Dr. Lisa Young Larance is a pioneer in the field of antiviolence intervention with extensive experience working with women who have used abuse in their relationships. On this episode of Unsilenced, Dr. Young Larance examines:The issue with the victim-offender binaryExplains why programs designed for men who have used abuse will not work for women due to differences in socializationOffers insight into how society perceives victims of abuse who harm their partners And answers the question “Can Women Be Abusive?” Content: (0:00) Introduction (2:02) Avoiding Stereotypes and History(10:36) Why Programs for Men Won’t Work for Women(15:44) The Issue with the Victim Offender Binary(17:11) The “Lifetime” Victim(18:51) Fear vs. Dread(22:58) What is Coercive Control?(27:36) Women’s Socialization Vs. Men’s Socialization (29:07) Mandatory Arrest Laws(31:50) How Society Views Women Who Fight Back(36:07) Can Women Be Abusive? (39:18) About JBWS & Resources Find Dr. Young Larance's Book: Broken: Women’s Stories of Intimate and Institutional Harm and Repair by Dr. Lisa Young Larance Resources and Additional Information: ⁠Is Your Relationship Healthy? ⁠National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800.799.SAFE (7233).JBWS' 24-Hour Helpline: 1.877.782.2873 Support for those using abuse: jbws.org/jcnv *Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Abuse among teens can look different than our typical understanding of domestic violence. In this episode, Maddie Hahn, the manager of JBWS’ Dating Abuse Prevention Program, answers many questions about dating abuse for both teenagers and their parents or guardians. This episode covers: Location sharing, the expectation of constant communication, how we can model healthy relationships for teenagers, how bullies mimic dynamics of power and control we see in abuse, the importance of maintaining our relationship armor, and more. Maddie explains how parents or guardians can casually promote healthy relationships by encouraging discussions about media and pop culture. When these discussions do arise, Maddie offers suggestions on dos and donts for navigating the conversation.  Content: (0:00) Introduction (2:10) Can Abuse Happen In Teen Relationships?(7:48) Location Sharing (12:52) Constant Texting(16:50) Maintaining Relationship Armor(20:11) Warning Signs of Abuse (24:27) Dos and Donts for Talking to Teens about Relationships(31:27) Modeling Healthy Relationships (32:53) Bullies Use Power and Control(35:09) The Harm in Downplaying Teen Relationships(38:01) How Breaking Up Could Be Dangerous(40:18) Closing Remarks (43:22) About JBWS & Services Services and Resources: Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Did you know that teenagers can experience dating abuse? Before reaching adulthood, 1 in 3 teenagers will experience some form of abuse by their partner. In this episode of Unsilenced, Shari Genser, Esq. will discuss what legal protections are in place for teenaged victims of abuse why victims sometimes drop restraining orders, how difficult it may be for teenagers to come forward about sexual abuse, and much more. *Please note: this is not to be used as legal guidance, please seek services if you want unique, individual legal advice.Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey?JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Handling the legal system can be difficult for victims of domestic violence. In this episode Shari Genser, Esq. offers insight into:Restraining orders and court processesThe difference between domestic violence and dating abuseThe role of power and control in abusive relationships*Please note: this is not to be used as legal guidance, please seek services if you want unique, individual legal advice.Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey?JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

It is critical to consider race when talking about domestic violence because there are unique barriers that Black victims face. Tamu King, CEO & Founder of The Changed Mind joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to talk about how: The "Strong Black Woman" stereotype feeds into the dehumanization of Black women and makes it harder for them to leave abusive relationships There is a stigma associated with domestic violence in the Black community that discourages victims from being honest about what they're experiencing This prejudicial belief that Black women are aggressive or angry makes them reluctant to involve law enforcement due to fear of being victimized themselves ⁠Find Tamu King's podcast here.⁠Content of the Podcast:(0:00) Introduction(05:27 ) Belief Black Women are Aggressive (10:25) Strong Black Woman Stereotype (16:04) Racism and Black Victims (22:06) Response to "I Don't See Color" (26:00) Stigma Associated with Domestic Violence (28:49) Breaking Through The Silence(35:26) Leaving Can Be Dangerous(42:11) About JBWS & Services Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Would seeing a cup of coffee terrify you? What if it was made exactly how you like it from that new café you just found? What if you found the cup of coffee in your car, still warm, with a nickname you haven’t used in years scrawled on the side? Julia Holtemeyer of the Stalking Awareness, Prevention and Resource Center (SPARC) joins this episode of Unsilenced to: Explore what constitutes stalking Share real-life examples of stalking - demonstrating why context is imperative to understanding the severity of threats Explain how dangerous stalking can be in an intimate partner relationship Contents:(0:00) Introduction (01:42) Definition of stalking(07:10) Retroactive fear(08:42) Examples of Stalking(09:13) Fear of a Coffee Cup (11:37) Fear of Flower Delivery(12:56) Fear of a Bottle Cap(14:02) Social and Professional Costs (15:28) Why Do People Stalk? (21:34) Stalking and Mental Health Issues(24:11) Stalking and Intimate Partner Relationships(30:50) About JBWS & Services About JBWS and Services:If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services.If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnv. ⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris ABOUT SPARC:SPARC (Stalking Prevention, Awareness, & Resource Center) is a federally funded project providing education and resources about the crime of stalking. SPARC aims to enhance the response to stalking by educating the professionals tasked with keeping stalking victims safe and holding offenders accountable. To stay up-to-date on SPARC’s resources and offerings, follow us on social media (Facebook, Instagram, X/Twitter) @FollowUsLegally and/or subscribe to our quarterly newsletter. SPARC does not provide direct services to victims. We recommend that stalking victims work with a local victim advocate, and the Victim Connect hotline can help connect victims with one. Local victim advocates can help plan for safety, discuss legal options, and connect victims with additional services. Victim Connect can be contacted at https://victimconnect.org/ for online messaging and information, and by phone at 1-855-484-2846. Local domestic violence and sexual assault support services/organizations often work with stalking victims/survivors, even when those victimizations are not part of the stalking. Unfortunately, there are no hotlines and few support service organizations that specifically work with victims/survivors of stalking.The list below includes specific resources mentioned in the podcast and links to learn more about stalking: Short videos on a variety of topics around stalking, including the SLII framework, how stalking and DV intersect, and media portrayals of stalking Specific questions to help identify stalking SLII behaviors More information about how movies and TV portray stalking Dive deeper and learn more about stalking by watching/listening to a recorded webinar training Resources to help support loved ones being stalked  Guides, checklists, tools for professionals supporting stalking victims and holding offenders accountable (victim service providers, law enforcement, prosecutors, judges, corrections, campus professionals, and more) Sample log to help track stalking incidents Considerations for safety planning with stalking victims Free, online risk assessment tool for stalking Learn more about technology safety and privacy, including safety tips, information, and privacy strategies for survivors

Do you have questions about domestic violence that you want to ask but aren't sure if you should? A show on Netflix called You Can't Ask That encouraged people to anonymously ask victims taboo questions about domestic violence. JBWS volunteer Ninna Roco joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to discuss these controversial questions and provide insight into the dynamics of abuse. If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services. If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnv. ⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

"I don't like the way I've been treating my partner." To end domestic violence, we must normalize reflecting on our behavior and admitting when we make mistakes. The stigma and shame around abuse prevents victims from seeking services and stops those using abuse from being honest about their behaviors. However, abuse is a choice and there are tools, skills, programs, and services that can help people prevent these behaviors. Mary Jane McCarthy, the Professional Training Manager at JBWS, joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to discuss societal perceptions about anger, coping methods for people using abuse, and how we must change the narrative around domestic violence. If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 973.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnv. If you are in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services. ⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Why do people abuse their partners or family members? What could cause a person to inflict harm on people they love? These are questions that anyone familiar with domestic violence has likely contemplated at some point. However, there is no universal answer to these questions. Not all people who use abuse have the same life experiences. Some may be mimicking the dynamic of their parents while others may believe they must be in control to avoid being controlled. Sometimes people use abuse in their relationships because their belief systems allow it or because it benefits them in some way. Mary Jane McCarthy joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to discuss this question. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services. ⁠⁠ Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv ⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

A common belief in society is that you "stay together for the kids" but how does this narrative impact victims of abuse? In this mini episode, Robin Hughes, JBWS' Crisis Response Team manager, discusses the challenges facing victims of abuse who have children. Find the full episode here. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services. ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Suicide. It’s a topic that many people are hesitant to discuss. They may worry that broaching the subject might give someone the idea to end their life or they may choose to stay silent because they simply don’t know how to talk about it. But suicide is a real risk, particularly for those struggling with domestic violence. Jessica Testa, LAC,  a counselor at JBWS, joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to explore the relationship between mental health issues and abuse, how to support someone struggling with suicidal thoughts, and the stigma around mental health issues. Contents of the Podcast:(0:00) Introduction (01:33) Abuse and Mental Health Issues(05:13) Power and Control Wheel(06:56) Domestic Violence Is a Risk factor for Suicide(10:31) Is It Okay To Talk About Suicide? (14:28) Shame and Mental Health Issues(17:39) Expressing Concern for a Suicidal Person(21:46) Ask If They're Considering Suicide (23:25) Levels of Suicidality(25:56) Protective Factors (30:20) Weaponizing Suicide in Abuse(37:21) About JBWS & Services *Please note, talking about suicide is not going to put a thought in someone’s head that isn’t already there. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. This episode discusses suicidal thoughts, dying my suicide, and other mental health issues, please consider if you're in a place to hear this content before listening. Find the Power and Control Wheel.About JBWS and Services: Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠⁠.⁠ ⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit ⁠⁠https://www.thehotline.org⁠/⁠ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Twenty years ago, The Notebook debuted in theaters and people fell in love with the passionate, enduring relationship between Noah and Allie. Their intense, all-consuming devotion to each other shaped a generation's perception of true love. But is this a good thing or does it romanticize abusive behavior ? Should we find it sweet that he wrote daily letters to her for a year without receiving a reply? Is it romantic that he built a house for her, years after they broke up? Or do we just find it beautiful because Allie wanted to be with Noah? But what if she rejected him, what would their lives become? Mary Jane McCarthy, the professional training manager at JBWS, joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to discuss why these behaviors are problematic, the difference between obsession and love, and how media could damage a person's idea of what's healthy in a relationship. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠.⁠ ⁠⁠ Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit ⁠https://www.thehotline.org⁠/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

The holidays can be an isolating, scary time for people experiencing abuse. Time off from work, the increase in substance use, financial strain, and the pressure to make happy holiday memories create a perfect storm for abuse. Robin Hughes, manager of JBWS' Crisis Response Team, joins this episode of Unsilenced to explore why abuse may escalate during the holidays and how to support a loved one that may be experiencing abuse. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠ Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Words hurt. Emotional abuse can damage a person's sense of identity, hurt their self-worth, and make them doubt their reality. However, because there are no physical signs of emotional abuse, it can be difficult to recognize. Sometimes abusive behavior can be masked as concern for your partner. "I don't think you should eat this meal, maybe get a salad instead" or "I don't think you should wear that outfit today, I don't trust the people you're going to see." It can be insidious and grow over time. Dr. Danielle Graddick, PsyD. joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to share tips for detecting emotional abuse, the physical manifestations of emotional abuse, and how minimization is used to control people experiencing abuse. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠ Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Abuse isn't always that easy to recognize. This concept is highlighted in Anna Kendrick's episode of Call Her Daddy where she explores how abuse is designed to make you question yourself. Maddie Hahn, the manager of JBWS' Dating Abuse Prevention Program, joins this episode of Unsilenced to discuss elements of Anna's episode of Call Her Daddy including the dynamics of abusive relationships, why conversations about warning signs are important, and how abuse can go unnoticed. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠. ⁠⁠ Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Self-care is often portrayed as luxurious vacations, trips to the spa, or expensive meals out. However, these methods aren't always accessible to people experiencing abuse. Their partners may control their finances, their schedule, and their relationships. So, how can victims of abuse take care of themselves? Maria Lagattuta, director of JBWS' Morris Family Justice Center, joins this episode of Unsilenced to discuss how self-care can feel overwhelming and like just another responsibility. She explores how we must redefine self-care, focus on progress not perfection, and find small ways to look after ourselves. Because self-care doesn't always look like long baths and workouts at the gym. Sometimes it can be an extra sip of water, standing in the sunshine for a moment, or practicing kindness toward ourselves. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/services. ⁠⁠ Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Diddy and baby oil. Rhianna and Chris Brown. These are just some of the many costumes people wear for Halloween that minimize or glorify sexual assault and domestic violence. But what motivates a person to dress as a victim of abuse or a person who has caused harm in their relationship? Psychologist and JBWS board member, Dr. Danielle Graddick joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to explore why people dress as victims of violence and the effect it has on people experiencing abuse. Dr. Graddick touches upon a person's need to be seen, explores why these costumes typically depict violence against women, the anonymity associated with dressing up, and why people are reluctant to believe that their costume could actually cause harm to victims of abuse. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠jbws.org/services. ⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠ If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)

How does cultural identity impact a Hispanic victim’s journey to safety? Are there cultural messages about family, gender roles, and silence that can complicate leaving? How do language barriers make it difficult to access serivces? Members of the Morris County Organization for Hispanic Affairs (MCOHA) join this episode of Unsilenced to answer these questions. Content: (0:00) Introduction (1:34) How Culture Impacts Abuse(5:15) Abuse Has Been Normalized(7:08) There is a Stigma Associated with Abuse(9:08) Family Messaging About Abuse (14:57) Hispanic Women Are Taught to Neglect Their Needs(19:29) Gender Roles (22:01) The Effect of Machismo (24:24) Hispanic Male Victims of Abuse(25:37) Violence is Socially Acceptable(30:27) Challenging World Views (32:44) A Message to Victims (33:19) About MCOHA, JBWS, and Services About JBWS, MCOHA, Services, and Resources: To learn more about the Morris County Organization for Hispanic Affairs visit mcoha.org. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit jbws.org/services. Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnvIf you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit https://www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

Are jokes always harmless, especially if only one person is laughing? Fiorella Diaz, LSW, the director of housing and supportive services at JBWS, answers the question: "Is it a Joke? Or is it Abusive?" This episode discusses the issues with these pranks, the core tenants of non-harmful jokes, and how we can all do our part to help people impacted by domestic violence. Content:(0:00) Introduction (1:34) When Pranking Goes Too Far(3:45) Humiliation is a Form of Power and Control(7:17) How These Pranks Hurt (11:44) Good Humor is Consensual (14:54) Mean Jokes Aren't Funny(16:13) How Do You Respond to "It's Just A Joke"(20:25) How to Prank Your Partner Without Being Harmful(24:22) Final Thoughts(26:33) About JBWS & Services About JBWS, Services, and Resources:Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/services⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠Do you recognize controlling or abusive behaviors in yourself? JBWS can also help. Please call 973.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you don't live or work in Morris County, NJ please visit ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233) Intro and outro music donated by Billy Morris

If someone is being abused by their partner, wouldn't leaving the relationship be the easiest solution? This is a question that we hear frequently as a domestic violence agency. However, it's based on the assumption that it is easy to leave an abusive relationship and that leaving will automatically make the victim safer. Robin Hughes, manager of JBWS' Crisis Response Team, joins this episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse to talk about why it isn't that easy to "just leave" a relationship and how leaving is actually the most dangerous time in a victims life. Content: (0:00) Introduction (1:30) Why Won't Victims Just Leave(4:12) Shame and Self Blame (6:04) They Love Their Partner (8:08) Why Do Victims Go Back?(13:51) Forcing Someone to Leave Won't Work(21:55) Factors That Make Leaving Difficult (25:43) A Victims' Life Has to Change (28:14) Why Staying Isn't Always Best for the Kids(35:41) Leaving is the Most Dangerous Time (37:38) Final Thoughts (41:32) About JBWS & Resources About JBWS, Services, and Resources: If you are in an unhealthy relationship and live or work in Morris County, New Jersey then JBWS is here for you. Call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873. Deaf/Hard of Hearing: Text (973) 314-4192. If you do not live or work in Morris County but are experiencing abuse, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit https://www.thehotline.org/ for live chat and text options. If you recognize any abusive or controlling behaviors in yourself, then JBWS can help: jbws.org/jcnv or 973-539-7801Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit jbws.org.Intro and outro music created by Billy Morris!

Why does talking about abuse make us so uncomfortable? Is it difficult for us to think that our loved ones might be harming another person? Or maybe we don't how to talk to someone experiencing abuse. Either way, it can be difficult to have conversations about abuse but that is also exactly why we must start talking about it. In this first episode of Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse, Diane Williams, the President and CEO of JBWS, explores why we don't talk about abuse, the shame that often accompanies experiencing abuse, and how we can start having these conversations. The only way we will be able to end abuse is by breaking this culture of silence. Domestic violence does not have to be a shameful secret. Content:(0:00) Introduction (2:08) What is Domestic Violence?(4:13) Who Experiences Abuse?(5:41) JBWS' History (8:33) How Does Domestic Violence Grow in Silence(15:25) How Can I Help A Friend Experiencing Abuse(18:06) Barriers to Seeking Assistance(25:02) Closing Thoughts(26:48) About JBWS & Services About JBWS, Services, and Resources: If you are in an unhealthy relationship and live or work in Morris County, New Jersey then JBWS is here for you. Call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873. Deaf/Hard of Hearing: Text (973) 314-4192. If you do not live or work in Morris County but are experiencing abuse, please call the National National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit https://www.thehotline.org/ for live chat and text options. Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is produced by JBWS, a domestic violence agency serving Morris County, New Jersey. If you're interested in learning more about JBWS, please visit jbws.org.Intro and outro music created by Billy Morris!

Launching on October 1, 2024, Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse is a podcast produced by JBWS that aims to end the culture of silence that surrounds domestic violence by increasing conversations about abuse. Through raw and unfiltered conversations with survivors of abuse, people who have used abuse, psychologists, social workers, and others impacted by domestic violence, this podcast intends to end the stigma associated with abuse. Guests speak candidly about abuse, societal perceptions of domestic violence, barriers to assistance, and how to reach out for help. Are you in an unhealthy relationship and living or working in Morris County, New Jersey? JBWS can help call our 24-Hour Helpline at 1.877.782.2873 or visit jbws.org/services. If you don't live or work in Morris County, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).