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Parenting a teenager is the most uniquely challenging thing you’ve ever done. The host of Speaking of Teens, Ann Coleman, understands all too well. After drowning in those challenges, herself, she spent several years transitioning from practicing attorney to expert in the science of adolescence and parenting. Twice weekly she delivers the most up to date, science-based information, news and advice to help you better understand, relate to, and parent your teen…without the conflict. From navigating relationships and social media to academic pressures and mental health issues, she, along with an occasional expert guest, will help you peacefully parent your teenager with confidence.
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Did you know that 98% of teens lie about at least one issue or another? And guess what? The general consensus among researchers and mental health professionals is that this is not only normal, but it would be a little worrisome if they didn’t lie a bit. The good news is, this is not a character flaw or a sign that they’re going to grow up to be a liar. By the time people reach adulthood, about three-quarters are consistently honest. The big spike in the chart during adolescence is ...
Today is the final day - Day 8 - of my series explaining the foundational principles you need to understand about parenting teens (so you can spend less time arguing and more time enjoying them!)I’ve talked about the importance of maintaining the connection with your teen throughout this this series. And today, I’ll explain why that connection is critical to keeping your teen safe and mentally healthy. Plus, I’ll tell you how to accomplish this “connection” (especially if your teen won’t give...
There are some very clear mistakes that we make when it comes to disciplining our teenagers – not the least of which is understanding the general goal of discipline.If you’ve “consequnced” yourself into a corner with your teenager, tune in and listen to this episode to figure out how to get back to where you need to be.Managing behavior issues with teens is definitely an exercise is self-restraint and mindfulness. But you can do it!Listen in and I’ll tell you how. Episodes in this series 130,...
What do you do when your teen or tween is acting like a toddler - when they're spewing their unpleasant emotions all over the place? Do you ignore them? Tell them to calm down? Get upset yourself?Well, today I want to talk to you about how you can use this opportunity to help your teenager develop their emotional intelligence - specifically, their emotional awareness and emotional regulation. This technique is called emotion coaching and it not only helps your teen calm down in that moment, b...
Understanding your own thoughts and emotions and how they impact your behavior, will help you manage your emotions so you can be the parent you want to be. If you don’t know why you get so upset about certain things, and don’t know how to articulate your feelings, your emotions will consume you. And I’m guessing you’ve realized what happens when you allow your emotions to consume you. In this episode I’ll talk about how to get a grip on your emotions instead of allowing them to keep...
Have you realized yet that you can't parent a teenager the way you parented them as a child? It's a hard truth. After your kid hits puberty, if you keep trying to manage them and parent them the way you did when they were a child, things will not go well.Parenting a teen or tween the way you parented them as a child, will guarantee years of power struggles and behavior problems. Instead, you must learn to pivot and give your teen or tween more control, more respect and more power to make deci...
Why? Why? Why? Why do teens do the things they do? As the Parent of a teenager, you're probably used to asking yourself this question. If your teen or tween has ever done anything they've always promised they'd never do, you're in good company.The way the adolescent brain works...well, let's just say, it can be baffling for parents. So, learning the "Why" behind your teen's thoughts, emotions and behavior is extremely import. It allows you to have more empathy, regulate your own emotions abou...
This is Day 2 of an 8-part series to explain the foundational principles of parenting teens. These are the "basics" that you need to understand to parent your teenagers with less conflict and more connection (plus have more influence in their lives and even change their behavior). Today, I continue talking about the changes occurring in your teenager's brain. Specifically, I'll explain how their brain's reward system is in hyperdrive, which can cause them to become involved in activitie...
Do you ever think, "Why would they do that?" "Why are they so irrational?" "Why can't they just do what they're supposed to do when they're supposed to do it?"You and every other parent with a kid between the ages of 10 and 25 have, no doubt, had these thoughts several times a day, most days of the week! It's baffling and frustrating to think your teen or tween could do better and chooses not to. But is that actually what's going on?Join me in this first episode of an 8-part series to explain...
The number of things we have to warn our teenagers and children about these days can be overwhelming. And when it comes to the wild, wild, west of the internet, it seems there's something new every few months.As much as we'd like to think these things can't happen to our teens, they can and do - everyday. There are many extremely depraved individuals online who make it their job to target, groom, and extort kids and teens. They pose as someone your child's age, gain their trust, trick them an...
It seems that there's just no end to the things that parents of teens and tweens have to worry about these days. And technology seems to always be up there at the top of the list, somehow. Well, today I'm going to talk to you about something that's probably not even on your radar (but really should be); AI generated child pornography. Your teenager could literally be walking down the hall at school, minding their own business while a classmate generates a pornographic image of them, using the...
Thoughts lead to emotions, which lead to actions. If we don't take time to examine our thinking, we can become stuck in some very unproductive cycles in parenting our teenagers (and in other relationships). Just because we think something doesn't make it true or correct. And if our thoughts are untrue, what does that mean for our emotions and behavior? Today I talk about how cognitive biases, distortions, assumptions and shortcuts in our thinking can keep us can keep us from parenting with in...
What the heck is going on down at the convenience store or corner vape shop? They're selling something that looks a whole lot like marijuana, cannabis, or weed. And this stuff (otherwise known as "gas station weed") can get people even higher than the marijuana sold at the legal dispensaries that contain the high-producing, delta-9 THC.Even worse, this stuff is being sold legally to teens in many states! What is it? It's delta-8 THC, delta-10 THC, HHC, THCA, THCO and other chemically extracte...
Today's episode has been a long time coming. Getting your teen to do what they're supposed to do (or not do what they're not supposed to do) is a sticking point for so many parents. You probably feel like a broken record most days and then still can't get the cooperation you want (and many times end up in arguments and power struggles).Well, in this episode I review a) the basics that you need to understand even before you try to get cooperation, b) what you shouldn't do and, c) different met...
Today's episode is a "feed drop"! Lauren Wolfe, host of Your Zen Friend, is dropping into our podcast feed to bring you a special episode of her podcast, addressing an issue you likely know all too well; attitude, disrespect, eye rolls, etc.Lauren has graciously agreed to let me air this fabulous episode as I am still dealing with my ailing mother this week. So, listen up because Lauren is going to talk about the best ways to respond to your teenager's "back talk" and explain why the way you ...
Today’s episode is an interview with Dr. Mercedes Oromendia, the clinical director of Manatee, an online therapy and parent coaching platform. Dr. Oromendia does a great job of explaining typical adolescent behavior and how, as parents, we need to respond to them for the best possible outcomes. See Show Notes for other resources and sourcesTranscriptFind our FREE Parenting Guides Here"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaki...
If your teen is experimenting with weed, alcohol, or other substances, it’s a very scary feeling. For some of us it’s downright terrifying and triggering.Well today’s guest went through it all with her son and it was as bad as it gets. Brenda Zane almost saw her son die from his drug abuse.Thankfully, he is now drug free, in college and helping others with their struggles. Brenda shares so much helpful information today; what to do and how to think about it, if you find that vape pen or bottl...
1Neurotypical teens, teens without any mental health disorders at all, experience emotional dysregulation from time to time (some more than others). This is simply a product of their changing brain and an oversensitive threat detector (the brain's amygdala).But teens with ADHD, certain mood disorders and personality disorders are much more likely to experience intense mood swings and even more pronounced emotional dysregulation. And that's not the only symptom overlap. As you can imagine, this...
I talked about parenting out of fear in the very first episode of this podcast. Because my own fear is what led me down such a long hard path with my son, I wanted to make sure you were aware of the issues it causes. Now that I've been able to work for a couple of years on refining this message, I'm back to share again why we must not let our anxious thoughts derail our parenting.This issue comes up over and over in the Speaking of Teens Facebook group and in Parent Camp. Fear for our Teenage...
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