Reimagining Love

[Content warning: this episode contains a brief mention of suicide. If you prefer to not listen to this moment, please skip this week's listener question segment at the end of the episode]Nedra Tawwab returns to Reimagining Love to discuss what can be our most challenging and vulnerable relationships: difficult relationships with our Families of Origin. Nedra offers empowering tools and relational strategies to help us adapt and redefine these relationships; tools to help us acknowledge when our family members have changed and accept when they cannot. Together, Nedra and Dr. Alexandra explore how this theme connects with a wide variety of topics: the tricky dynamics of in-laws, differing perspectives around the past, and how to navigate painful decisions around estrangement.Relevant links:Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover TawwabThe Drama Free Workbook: Practical Exercises for Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover TawwabListen to Nedra's podcast, You Need to Hear ThisConnect with Nedra online and on InstagramOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question  Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra examines a central tension in all relationships: the need for space versus togetherness. If you often find yourself wanting more connection, are you needy? If you typically need more space, are you avoidant? Here, Dr. Alexandra encourages us to ditch the labels and pathology, and instead acknowledge that both space and connection are fundamental needs in an intimate relationship. To help you navigate this, Dr. Alexandra shines a light on the meaning we assign to our orientations around space and shares strategies to help you and your partner create agreements that maximize connection and minimize resentment.Relevant links:Access this episode's companion worksheet hereMating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther PerelReimagining Love Episode: "Let's Talk About 'Sleep Divorces'"Hermeneutic Labor: The Gendered Burden of Interpretation in Intimate Relationships between Women and Men by Ellie AndersonOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Author Molly Roden Winter joins Reimagining Love to share her story of opening up her marriage as a happily married mother and the hard-earned and profound truths she learned along the way. For Molly, her journey of non-monogamy opened her up to more: more choice and self-discovery, and feeling more than her roles as a mother and wife. Relevant links:More: A Memoir of Open Marriage by Molly Roden WinterNew York Magazine's "A Practical Guide to Modern Polyamory"Connect with Molly onlineOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

What would change if, instead of prioritizing romantic relationships, we made friendships the center of our lives? NPR's Rhaina Cohen joins Reimagining Love to explore the possibilities embedded within that question. In her new book, Rhaina invites us into the worlds of people who've organized their lives around deep friendship and, in doing so, challenge our ideas and assumptions about which relationships should be at the heart of a fulfilling life. Relevant links:The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center by Rhaina CohenListen to "Dear Friend," the song inspired by Rhaina's bookConnect with Rhaina online"Parent–adult child estrangement in the United States by gender, race/ethnicity, and sexuality" from the Journal of Marriage and FamilyOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath join Reimagining Love to share the story of their relationship—the story that inspired their new book, Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire. In this conversation, they get vulnerable about how they moved from breaking up to fostering breakthroughs; a journey they nurtured through what they call 'a sacred pause.' In the sacred pause, they identified the patterns that blocked their ability to find authentic love so that they could build a new relationship rooted in safety and interdependence.Relevant links: Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire by Mark Groves and Kylie McBeathAfter purchasing Liberated Love, access the PDF Workbook and free Meditation Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Throughout her decades as a therapist, Dr. Alexandra has helped many people navigate being "the affair partner." Participating in infidelity creates an intoxicating yet profoundly confusing blend of emotions and experiences. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra examines the psychology of this role and offers a compassionate look into the surrounding context: the thrills, secret benefits, sources of shame, and potential origin stories embedded within this controversial role.Relevant links:"A Great Wagon" by RumiJournal of Sex & Martial Therapy: "Object of Desire Self-Consciousness Theory" by Anthony F. Bogaert and Lori A. Brotto"Taking Sexy Back" by Dr. Alexandra SolomonFacebook Group: Esther Perel Discussion GroupReimagining Love episode: "Guidance for the Newly Single"Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra confronts a common roadblock to repair: shame. Often, in the wake of relational harm, feelings of shame secretly run the show, causing you to get combative and defensive or freeze, flee, or fawn in essential moments. Dr. Alexandra provides strategies for moving from shame into action—so that you can make yourself available for repair—and gives tangible tips for how to make a heartfelt and effective apology.Relevant links:Access this episode's companion worksheet hereReimagining Love episode: "Why Can't I Get Over It?"Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or DeceitBrené Brown's TED Talk: Listening to ShameBuilding Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow by Joseph BurgoOrder Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Ten years after "conscious uncoupling" first entered the public lexicon, Katherine Woodward Thomas joins Reimagining Love to discuss her powerful rebrand of what's possible after a breakup or divorce. Through sharing her story and dissecting the cultural myths that cause us to view divorce as a failure, Katherine encourages us to bring a sense of generosity and intentionality to the process so that we can transform our relationships with our former partner, ourselves, and our futures.Relevant links:Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward ThomasCalling in the One: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life (Revised) by Katherine Woodward ThomasConnect with Katherine online and on InstagramMarriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie CoontzThe Good Divorce by Constance AhronsUncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships by Diane VaughanOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Esther Boykin joins Dr. Alexandra for an expansive conversation around the intersection of mental health and our careers. Esther highlights the difference between self-care and self-compassion, and points us towards using self-compassion as an essential tool for improving both our personal and work lives. When we bring self-compassion to our careers, we prevent burnout by opening up a deeper connection to our common humanity. Together, Esther and Dr. Alexandra then respond to a listener who thinks her relationship is being held back by her partner's ambition.Relevant links:Connect with Esther online and on InstagramLearn more about Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word and the Compassion CollectiveWho Not How: The Formula to Achieve Bigger Goals Through Accelerating Teamwork by Dan SullivanReimagining Love episode: "Talking about the Future: Navigating a Pace Discrepancy"Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

What does it feel like to be in a securely attached relationship? Renowned relationship expert and therapist Julie Menanno joins Reimagining Love to illuminate what we can learn from examining secure attachments. Together with Dr. Alexandra, Julie help anxious and avoidant partners understand each other by guiding us through how different attachment styles show up in tender moments. Ultimately, Julie reminds us that the purpose of attachment work is to help us heal from our past unmet needs so that we can form secure attachments today.Relevant links:Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime by Julie MenannoConnect with Julie online and on InstagramOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Deceit, infidelity, and betrayal profoundly shake our inner worlds. If you're struggling to heal from relational harm, you may be endlessly ruminating on the past and wondering why you can't just let it go. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra breaks down the process of forgiveness and provides seven reasons why you can’t get over it. Relevant links:Access this episode's companion worksheet hereDr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or DeceitReimagining Love episode: "Tending to "Little You" & Exploring Your Family of Origin"Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want by Dr. Alexandra SolomonSubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question  Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

What are trauma bonds and how can we heal from them? Dr. Laura Copley joins the podcast to dive into the sticky dynamics of unhealthy, trauma-bonded relationships. Drawing from personal experiences and her work as a relationship trauma expert, Dr. Laura gives us insight into what she calls "the hero's journey" — a transformative path towards recognizing our origin stories, attachment wounds, and current relationship dynamics so that we can transcend our trauma and form authentic connections.Relevant links: Loving You Is Hurting Me: A New Approach to Healing Trauma Bonds and Creating Authentic Connection by Dr. Laura Copley Learn more about Dr. Laura's work online and on Instagram Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter Submit a Listener Question  Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh returns to Reimagining Love to share her research on the six ingredients that help love bloom into a thriving relationship. In this conversation, Dr. Sara encourages us to move beyond our culture's myth of finding a perfect mate and instead, focus on creating something special together. Relevant links: Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sara NasserzadehUse code "Reimagine" for 10% off Dr. Sara's  Relationship Panoramic Inventory (Valid until 2/29/24)Learn more about Dr. Sara NasserzadehOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Thinking about re-entering the dating scene after a breakup or loss? How can you tell if you're truly ready to get back out there? In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra provides five Relational Self-Awareness-informed indicators that you can use to help you discern whether you’re ready to date again.Relevant links:Access this episode's companion worksheet hereListen to Reimagining Love's "Guidance for the Newly Single" episodeLearn more about Relational Self-Awareness with Dr. Alexandra's books, Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy BackOrder Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

In this in-depth solo episode, Dr. Alexandra explains the six common roles we played in our original family systems. Way before we ever were involved in a romantic relationship, we were part of a family system, and that system, for better or for worse, shaped our ideas about who we can and cannot be. Through understanding our past, we can see how these roles continue to show up in our relationships today and use that knowledge as a powerful Relational Self-Awareness tool.Relevant links:Take the Family of Origin Roles QuizReimagining Love: "Tending to "Little You" & Exploring Your Family of Origin"Dr. Alexandra's Psychotherapy Networker ArticleOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Emily Nagoski joins Reimagining Love for a vulnerable and expansive conversation about nurturing lasting sexual connections in long-term partnerships. As an award-winning sex educator and author, Emily combines groundbreaking research, sex education, and stress education to expand our ideas about women's sexuality. In her new book, Come Together, Emily explores how long-term couples maintain sexual connection over time. Together, Emily and Dr. Alexandra uncover the importance of moving away from the "shoulds" in our sex lives and towards discovering more confidence and joy with our partners.Relevant links:Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections by Emily NagoskiDates for Emily's upcoming book tourLearn more about Emily's work online and on InstagramOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Renowned divorce coach Kate Anthony sits down with Dr. Alexandra to offer us an empowering approach to divorce that centers accountability and integrity. Sharing wisdom from her own divorce, Kate guides Dr. Alexandra through the experience, from exploring what is embedded within the question ‘should I stay or should I go?’ to all the tricky things that emerge in the aftermath of a separation: parenting decisions, the gender dynamics of divorce, and the heaps of unsolicited advice that’s coming your way.Relevant links:The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision about Your Marriage by Kate AnthonyListen to The Divorce Survival Guide PodcastExplore Kate's program Should I Stay or Should I Go?Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Therapist and sexologist Nicoletta Heidegger joins Reimagining Love for an expansive conversation about all things sexuality. Nicoletta's approach shows the power of sex-positivity — encouraging curiosity about how everyone can learn to have better sex and, in doing so, build deeper connections to our senses, our relationships, and ourselves.Relevant links:Learn more about Nicoletta's workNicoletta's Sex and Scholars PodcastTickets for Afternoon Delight: A Live Podcast Experience on Feb. 10th, 2024Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Dr. Mariel Buqué joins Reimagining Love to discuss her debut book, Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma. As an expert in intergenerational trauma, Dr. Buqué offers wisdom on what gets passed down within families: not only inheritances of pain and trauma but also precious stories and gifts. Dr. Buqué shares her journey of infusing traditional clinical frameworks with holistic healing practices, paving a path through intergenerational wounds and toward emotional liberation.Relevant links:Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma by Dr. Mariel BuquéLearn more about Dr. Buqué's workOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

In this special mini-solo episode, Dr. Alexandra invites you to join her as she reflects on 2023 and moves into the new year with intentionality. Sharing her perspective on resolutions, Dr. Alexandra encourages listeners to navigate this time with self-compassion and gentleness. Then, Dr. Alexandra guides listeners through two exercises designed to reflect on the lessons and challenges of the past year and find optimism for this upcoming year.Relevant links:Access this episode's accompanying worksheetOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships