Parenting Understood

We are thrilled to be re-releasing our episode with Dr. Clancy Blair as part of our four week back to school series before our reflection on the past 100 plus episodes in two weeks. Dr. Blair is a developmental psychologist and Professor at New York University, who studies self-regulation in young children. His primary interest concerns the development of cognitive abilities, referred to as executive functions, and the ways in which these aspects of cognition are important for school readiness and early school achievement. He is also interested in the development and evaluation of preschool and elementary school curricula designed to promote executive functions as a means of preventing school failure. Prior to coming to NYU, Blair spent ten years as an Assistant and then Associate Professor in the department of Human Development and Family Studies at Penn State.    Dr. Blair spoke with us regarding self-regulation, and the different stages that can be expected in children as they age from infants to adolescents. We also explored the ways in which the environment can impact self-regulation, and how parents can utilize different strategies for trying to best promote positive self-regulation.   If you would like to learn more about the work of Dr. Blair, you can visit his Google Scholar page at https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=duCRaqgAAAAJ&hl=en

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Holly Gover, a board-certified behavior analyst with extensive experience working with children with developmental disabilities. Dr. Gover, currently a faculty member in pediatrics at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, joins us to tackle a common concern for parents: picky eaters. Dr. Gover shares valuable insights on how to encourage children to try new foods in a relaxed and enjoyable manner, empowering them to feel in control of their eating choices. We also explore the warning signs that may indicate the presence of an eating disorder and discuss the pressures faced by parents when preparing meals for their children and families. Delving deeper, we uncover three essential techniques: creating a culture of trying, increasing exposure to diverse foods, and avoiding mealtime battles. These strategies serve as powerful tools for parents seeking to overcome the challenges of picky eating and to foster healthier eating habits in their children. Join us for this discussion that empowers parents with practical advice and effective approaches to navigate the world of picky eaters, ultimately creating a positive mealtime experience for the entire family.   To learn more about Michelle’s Pocket Parent membership, please visit https://www.thrivingtoddler.com/pocketparent You can reach out to Dr. Gover by contacting her at holly.gover@vumc.org or by visiting her webpage at https://pediatrics.vumc.org/person/holly-c-gover-phd-bcba-d

In this episode, we are joined by Lauren Smith-Brody, founder of the Fifth Trimester movement and the author of The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom's Guide to Style, Sanity, and Big Success After Baby. We discuss with Lauren how her work addresses the research and policy around early parenthood, as well as the practical. Lauren speaks about how her work dissects the systems that drive the inequities that make new motherhood, and especially new employed motherhood, so challenging, and her mission to recruit others to speak up about caregivers in their workplace and their needs. Lauren addresses the parallels between infants’ fourth trimester and mothers’ fifth trimester. She further talks about child care, especially in regards to thinking about how one gets comfortable with one’s decision about care, and how decisions are made. We further talk about the roles of ambivalence and agency in parenting. Lauren also speaks about her current work around rights and caregivers in the workforce.    For more information on Lauren please visit:  http://www.thefifthtrimester.com/founder   For more information on Chambers of Mothers please visit: https://www.chamberofmothers.com/

In this episode, we discuss 9 key principles to consider when having conversations with children around difficult topics, such as illness. We discuss ways to be developmentally appropriate with one’s approach, especially for younger children. In addition, we talk about supports to consider when having these conversations, and the importance of gearing one’s approach towards one’s own child’s needs.    Resources: Talking to Children about Cancer  Talking to Children about Mental Illness  Talking to Children about Death  

In this episode we are joined by Harvard Professor, Dr. Paul Harris, to delve into the intricate world of children's imagination and its developmental significance. Drawing on his research, Dr. Harris challenges historical views, notably those of Freud and Piaget, highlighting the pragmatic value of children's imaginative play. He shares experiments involving young children's responses to pretend scenarios, revealing their sophisticated understanding and application of imagination in everyday situations. Moreover, Dr. Harris explores children's willingness to believe in unseen phenomena, shedding light on the role of trust, consensus, and attachment in shaping their perceptions. Throughout the discussion, Dr. Harris provides practical insights and thought-provoking reflections, offering a deeper understanding of child development and the dynamics of parent-child interactions.   To learn more about Dr. Harris and his research please visit his website Dr. Paul Harris.  

In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Felienne Hermans to delve into the world of programming and its significance in children's development. We explore why programming is vital for children, emphasizing their shift from being digital consumers to creators. Felienne underscores the importance of fostering creativity in the digital realm, highlighting how programming empowers children to craft their own digital creations. Felienne also offers insights into age-appropriate programming activities. Moreover, she addresses common misconceptions about programming and offers practical advice for parents looking to engage their children in coding. She stresses the value of choosing activities aligned with children's interests, whether it's art, storytelling, or gaming. Felienne also encourages parents to embrace learning alongside their children, emphasizing the importance of modeling curiosity and resilience. To learn more about Dr. Hermans and her coding program, please visit her website https://www.felienne.com/ and https://www.hedycode.com/  

In this episode, we are joined by Danielle DuBosie, co-Founder of Sakara Life, which merges modern science and ancient healing wisdom. We explore the intricate connection between nutrition, emotions, and childhood development. Danielle, who had a background in functional medicine, delves into the emerging research on the gut microbiome's impact on emotional well-being, emphasizing how food directly influences gut health, which in turn affects mood and mental health. She also advocate for teaching children to discern how different foods make them feel.  Danielle shares strategies for fostering a positive relationship with food, such as involving children in meal preparation and emphasizing diversity in food choices. We also discuss practical meal ideas and the importance of avoiding processed foods. Throughout, Danielle highlights the complexity of nutrition and the importance of nurturing a holistic approach to well-being.   To learn more about Danielle and her work please visit her on instagram @danielleduboise and @sakaralife and listen to The Sakara Life podcast. 

In this latest episode, Professor Noguera argues for a shift in education, prioritizing both academic achievement and social-emotional development. He highlights how schools often neglect fostering positive student-adult relationships, which are crucial for well-being. Dr. Noguera proposes a holistic approach, emphasizing a supportive environment in schools. Further, we discuss how parents are key in promoting balanced lifestyles and social interactions. We also touch on broader societal trends and the potential impact of AI in education, acknowledging both its potential benefits and concerns about hindering critical thinking skills. To learn more about Dr. Pedro Noguera and his work please visit: Dr. Noguera-UCLA  

In this episode, we are joined by Drs Marc Brackett and Niobe Way to discuss the importance of human connection for children, teenagers, and adults. We talk about the significance of supportive relationships for healthy social emotional development, and the potential negative effects of a lack of supportive relationships, including violence and self-harm. Further, Marc and Niobe dive into the topic of relational intelligence and ways in which this can be understood and learned. Finally, we discuss how parents can find ways to be the person their children can turn to and how they can go from passing judgment to being curious role models. To learn more about Dr. Marc Brackett please visit: https://www.marcbrackett.com and howwefeel.org To learn more about Dr. Niobe Way please visit:  https://steinhardt.nyu.edu/people/niobe-way and listen to her Ted talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFsZsn7SRAc   To learn more about Dr. Way’s research and the movie Close please visit: https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/movies/story/2023-01-27/lukas-dhont-close-oscar-nominee

In this episode we speak with Dr. Keegan Tangeman about the use of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) to support children and adults in overcoming difficult thoughts and behaviors. We speak about the use of this type of therapy in general, as well as with suicidal adolescents. Further, we discuss how the principles of DBT can be used to support children not only in therapy but in their interactions with others.    Dr. Tangeman is a licensed, child and adolescent psychologist. He received his doctorate from Pepperdine University and completed his pre-doctoral internship at Morrison Child and Family Services, an APA-Accredited clinical internship in Portland, Oregon with rotations in community mental health and juvenile forensic settings. Dr. Tangeman completed two, APA-Accredited postdoctoral fellowships in the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry program at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center, where he specialized in child and adolescent trauma, child psychological assessment, as well as evidence-based treatments for children and adolescents. Dr. Tangeman developed and directed the Behavioral Assessment and Treatment clinic for disruptive behavior disorders at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center and served the role of Clinical Project Director for a multi-site, randomized controlled trial of Dialectical Behavior Therapy with adolescents, affiliated with the University of Washington and the University of California at Los Angeles.   To learn more about Dr. Keegan visit https://www.drkeegan.com/drtangeman  

We are thrilled to be joined in our first episode of the New Year by Jessica Grose. Jessica is an opinion writer at The New York Times who writes a popular newsletter on parenting. Jessica was the founding editor of Lenny, the email newsletter and website. She also writes about women’s health, culture, politics and grizzly bears. She was named one of LinkedIn’s Next Wave top professionals 35 and under in 2016 and a Glamour “Game Changer” in 2020 for her coverage of parenting in the pandemic. She is the author of the novels Soulmates and Sad Desk Salad. She was formerly a senior editor at Slate, and an editor at Jezebel. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, New York, the Washington Post, Businessweek, Elle, Cosmopolitan, and many other publications. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and daughters.   In this episode, we discuss Jessica’s new book Screaming on the Inside: The unsustainability of American motherhood. Jessica highlights some of the enduring themes of motherhood she saw in her research for the book, and the role of those themes in modern motherhood. We also talk about how social media impacts attitudes towards mothering and community development. Lastly, Jessica discusses her own experiences with parenting and career.  For more information on Jessica and her recent book, please visit the following sites:   https://jessicagrose.com/ https://www.amazon.com/Screaming-Inside-Unsustainability-American-Motherhood/dp/006307835X https://www.nytimes.com/by/jessica-grose For more information on Cooper please visit us on instagram @your_cooper and on-line at beta.yourcooper.com . If you are interested in joining a Cooper group please click join Cooper, where you'll fill out a brief onboarding to tell us more about yourself, your family and your parenting needs. Enter code 'ParentingUnderstood' at checkout to receive 20% off your Cooper Membership!

In this episode, Dr. Whitney discusses her book "Doing It All: Stop Over-Functioning and Become the Mom and Person You're Meant to Be." She addresses the challenges faced by mothers who feel overwhelmed and pulled in multiple directions, offering strategies for self-compassion, setting boundaries, and prioritizing what matters most. Dr. Whitney emphasizes the importance of being sensitive and responsive to children's needs, establishing routines, nurturing internal motivation, and modeling emotional regulation. She also advises stressed moms to practice self-compassion, commit to doing less, and focus on the things that matter most to them.   Throughout the discussion, we delve into the challenges of parenting in a fast-paced, media-driven society, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion and mindful prioritization. We highlight the significance of allowing children time for unconstrained skill development, encouraging parents to focus on what truly matters in the midst of overwhelming demands. Dr. Whitney's personal experiences and academic insights provide a relatable and evidence-based approach to parenting, offering practical guidance for mothers seeking to navigate the complexities of modern parenting with grace and resilience.   Links:  https://modernmommydoc.com/ @modermommydoc  Modern Mommy Doc Podcast

In this episode, we are joined by Professor Susan Neuman to explore early literacy and how parents can best support their young children. Susan emphasizes the importance of understanding the science of reading and highlights key skills that contribute to a child's success as a reader. The conversation delves into various aspects of early literacy, such as phonological awareness, representational language, and the significance of play. Susan encourages parents to engage in activities that align with their child's interests and emphasizes the need for a balance between structured learning and maintaining the joy of childhood. A specific focus is placed on evaluating school reading programs, especially in the context of New York City's changes in literacy education. Susan advises parents to look for structured reading programs while being cautious of excessive time spent on specific activities, ensuring that children still have time for play and diverse learning experiences. We also speak about the importance of the home-school connection.

In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Richard Weissbourd to speak about achievement pressure. We discuss how parents can be mindful of the messages they send and how to prioritize children’s well-being over external validation. Dr. Weissbourd speaks as to how collective action is critical to address systemic issues that are fueling achievement pressure.  Richard Weissbourd is a Senior Lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education and the Kennedy School of Government. His work focuses on moral development, the nature of hope, vulnerability and resilience in childhood, parenting and effective schools and services for children. He directs the Making Caring Common Project, a national effort to make moral and social development priorities in child-raising and to provide strategies to schools and parents for promoting in children caring, a commitment to justice and other key moral and social capacities. He leads an initiative to reform college admissions, Turning the Tide, which has engaged over 300 college admissions offices. This initiative seeks to elevate ethical character, reduce excessive achievement pressure and increase equity and access in the college admissions process. He is also conducting research on how older adults can better mentor young adults and teenagers in developing caring, ethical, mature romantic relationships.    He is a founder of several interventions for children facing risks, including ReadBoston and WriteBoston, city-wide literacy initiatives led by Mayor Menino. He is also a founder of a pilot school in Boston, the Lee Academy, that begins with children at 3 years old. He has advised on the city, state and federal levels on family policy, parenting and school reform and has written for numerous scholarly and popular publications and blogs, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today and NPR.  He is the author of The Vulnerable Child: What Really Hurts America’s Children and What We Can Do About It (Addison-Wesley, 1996), named by the American School Board Journal as one of the top 10 education books of all time.  His most recent book, The Parents We Mean to Be: How Well-Intentioned Adults Undermine Children's Moral and Emotional Development (Houghton Mifflin 2009), was named by The New Yorker as one of the top 24 books of 2009.  To learn more about Dr. Weissbourd’s work visit https://www.gse.harvard.edu/directory/faculty/richard-weissbourd

In this episode, we are thrilled to welcome back Dr. Jeanne Donaldson to speak with her on the topic of behavior basics and creating a foundation of a warm, loving, safe, nurturing environment in our homes. We take on a variety of topics including establishing the foundations of sleep, nutrition, movement, safety, parental attention, and building and supporting independence through choice making. With all of the information out online and on social media, we wanted to take a moment to do an episode where we sift through it all and look at the evidence based basics. We hope you enjoy it! To learn more about Michelle’s Q&A membership, please visit https://www.thrivingtoddler.com/offers/u9UQ2BgG  To learn more about Dr. Donaldson, you can visit her website at https://www.lsu.edu/hss/psychology/faculty/school/donaldson.php or by email at jdonaldson@lsu.edu

As we head into the holiday season, we are re-airing our interview with Eve Rodsky, a mom of 3, an attorney, an activist, and NY Times Best Seller Author of “Fair Play” and “Find Your Unicorn Space.” In this episode, we discuss what “Unicorn Space” is, and what we can do to help discover this space. We also discuss the mental load of motherhood, an especially pertinent topic during these times.    You can learn more about Eve Rodsky and purchase “Find Your Unicorn Space” at her website: https://www.everodsky.com/ and by following her on Instagram @everodsky   

In this episode, we speak with Dr. Damour about the emotional lives of teenagers. We pay especial attention to the pressures that both genders feel yet how those may be manifested differently across genders, at times. Dr. Damour unpacks parent-child relationships, especially the mother-daughter relationship, and the role of identification in that relationship as girls mature. We also discuss how research methods may not always allow for the identification of areas of concern for boys.  Dr. Lisa Damour is the author of three New York Times best sellers: Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. She co-hosts the Ask Lisa podcast, works in collaboration with UNICEF, and is recognized as a thought leader by the American Psychological Association. Dr. Damour is also a regular contributor to The New York Times and CBS News. Dr. Damour serves as a Senior Advisor to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University and has written numerous academic papers, chapters, and books related to education and child development. She maintains a clinical practice and also speaks to schools, professional organizations, and corporate groups around the world on the topics of child and adolescent development, family mental health, and adult well-being. Dr. Damour graduated with honors from Yale University and worked for the Yale Child Study Center before earning her doctorate in Clinical Psychology at the University of Michigan. She has been a fellow at Yale’s Edward Zigler Center in Child Development and Social Policy and the University of Michigan’s Power Foundation. She and her husband are the proud parents of two daughters. To learn more about Dr. Damour and her work please visit https://drlisadamour.com/ and follow her on instagram @lisa.damour 

In this brief episode, Michelle and I discuss techniques to support young children in their listening. This is our last episode of the year as we take a month break. During our break, we will be re-airing episodes on selective eating, the emotional lives of children and developing emotional self-awareness. Wishing you and your families a joyous holiday season and New Year!

In this episode, we discuss with Chloe Massey, Cooper Education Team Parenting Expert and Doctoral Candidate- parenting, teaching, and learning challenges. We dig into some of the behavioral, social, and academic challenges that might surface around this time of year among school aged children. Chloe brings her knowledge and experience as a former classroom teacher, as well as a parent navigating all of this herself. We talk through strategies on how to communicate best with your child's teacher, how to handle the hard conversations - especially when you disagree with your child's teacher, how to provide support at home, and the importance of getting all caregivers aligned and consistent.

In this episode we speak with Dr. Aliza Pressman about her new book, The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans. Aliza outlines what those five science backed principles are, and what they look like in parenting. We further discuss how these principles apply across a broad range of children’s ages, and the various roles that temperament and family values play in their application. To learn more about Aliza visit her website and to pre-order her book visit Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, Books-A-Million, Apple or SImon & Schuster. When you pre-order, submit your receipt to preorder , and receive a preview chapter on resilience.