Stepping Off Now: Lessons in the Art and Craft of Creativity

Rejection sensitivity is one of the primary challenges neurodiverse and highly sensitive creatives face in reaching for their dreams. It can cause us to isolate, not seek out opportunities to share or showcase our work, or even keep us from doing creative work in the first place. If we do put ourselves out there, we risk severe mental health consequences when we experience real or perceived rejection, even of the mild kind (and rejection is inevitable on any creative journey!) How can we pursue our creative dreams in this context?  In this episode I discuss the ins and outs of rejection sensitivity and its more extreme form, rejection sensitive dysphoria. You'll hear what it is, why neurodiverse folks are prone to it, what it looks like in real life (using some examples from my own), and some tools I've developed over the last five years of my own creative journey that have helped me go from not wanting to share my fiction at all to live pitching my now completed novel at a conference next week (wish me luck!) Several resources I used for this episode:Emotional Regulation and Rejection Sensitivity (Dr. William Dodson, October 2016)Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and Its Painful Impact (Dr. Neff, blog)Past episodes I mention:E41. The One About Writing: My Writing Journey and Path Toward PublicationE65. In Which I Read One of My Short StoriesContact me

This episode begins with an update on my preparations for the writers' conference I'm attending in Tampa on April 12. You can skip ahead to the 10:36 mark for the topical discussion.We're often counseled to follow our own vision or intuition in our creative work, but what does that actually look like in practice? How do you do it? In this episode I discuss a new lens that I'm finding useful right now: you follow what's alive. You'll hear about when following our internal impulses and rejecting the "shoulds" matters, how to differentiate between what's "alive" and what's "dead" in a creative project, and what to do then.Contact me

At loooooooong last, I am (nearly! almost!) ready to start querying my novel to agents, so I decided it was the right time to do an update episode on where things stand and my plans going forward. I touch on topics such as what it feels like to be done, preparing for querying, and finding opportunities for professionalization as a prospective author.Writing Day Conference info (Tampa & Orlando)Jane Friedman classesMary Kole resources

Most timelines of the creative process depict it as linear and progressive, an "up and to the right" trajectory (like on a graph). But what I am finding in the final stretch of writing my novel, though, that this phase is entirely different from every part of the process that came before. Nothing about how I'm working as I struggle toward that finish line is like my ordinary creative practice, and I've had to alter both my approach and mindset. It truly is extra-ordinary (in the sense of being outside of the ordinary), and it does not fit with linear-progressive models of the creative process.In this episode I discuss different cultural conceptualizations of ordinary vs. extraordinary time, and how we can adapt these to help us understand those periods in our own creative process that seem to take us far off course even as we struggle to maintain our bearings.

My sister is a competitive cyclist, and we enjoy discussing the similarities between athletic practice and creative practice. The other day she was telling me about how she and the cyclists she coaches recognize, treat, and recover from physical injuries. It made me wonder: can creatives and artists suffer from injuries, too? If so, how do we recognize when we have one, and how do we treat it? What can a sports analogy teach us about our need as creatives and artists to rest and recover?Here is the episode of Martha Beck's podcast that I mention.Contact me

I credit my creative practice with helping me recover from my life-altering burnout at the end of my PhD. I've maintained from the beginning (and often talked about in this podcast) that creative work should feel good most of the time. For many years I've been gentle and compassionate with myself in both my creative practice and life, never pushing too hard and taking breaks of days or even weeks when I began to feel overwhelmed by anxiety. This is what helped me build a sustainable, fulfilling creative practice that has ushered me out of burnout an into a life that feels like it has purpose. But in order to finish my novel, I've had to push myself like never before, and I find myself sitting in discomfort in my practice more often than not. Discomfort ultimately cannot be avoided, and it is required if we want to grow. But it can also be destructive--allowing too much discomfort, and the wrong kind, into my life is what led to my burnout in the first place. How do we differentiate between constructive vs. destructive discomfort? This is a big topic and I only scratch the surface here (and to be honest my brain is a bit fried right now with trying to finish my novel!). Hopefully I've made a good start with it.Contact Me

Have you ever noticed that successful artists' backstories often sound like destined paths or hero's journeys? Learning how to tell your own mythologized origin story is an essential tool for any artist. Listen to this episode to find out why and how to do it.I am indebted to the podcast episode Infamous: Taylor Swift Before She Was Famous Part I for much of the information about Taylor Swift's early life. Please give it and its companion Part II a listen!Find out more about the writing program I use, Scrivener.Contact Me

I am a lifelong magical thinker, but in recent years have rejected it in favor of a more realistic (read: pessimistic/cynical haha) perspective. This holiday season, though, I have decided that I will once again let myself believe in magic. But am I ready to indulge in magical thinking in a responsible way? To find out, I compare my magical thinking or lack thereof during my two experiences of finishing a novel: one twenty years ago and one this year. In the first case, I used magical thinking in a destructive way, but this time I'm trying to use it in a constructive way. What's the difference? Listen to find out! 

There's no question that setting and achieving goals is beneficial...right? But what about when it's not? Creativity requires us to become adept at allowing ourselves to be swept off course. In this episode I discuss why we struggle so much to deviate from plan, why this can harm our creative process, and why we may want to consider taking radical steps to connect with our intuitive creative mind.

In these final difficult months of getting my novel ready for agent submissions, thinking about my art's greater purpose is serving as an important motivator. In this episode I discuss why I think it's best to save contemplating your art's greater purpose for the later stages of creation, how to know if you even need a greater purpose for your art, and how to figure out what yours is. This discussion is part of a larger one I've been having on this podcast recently around contemplating audience and balancing prioritizing our needs as artists to be authentic in our art with the needs of audiences to enjoy or benefit from our work.

When life gets messy, it's tempting to put our creative work aside until we have the space and energy for inspiration again. But this is no good if you are trying to finish a project or if you are dedicated to maintaining a serious creative practice as an artist or a mental health practice.  In this episode I talk about what I learned from a recent experience of upheaval in my own life, and give you some tips to help you when you encounter your own.

Sorry for the lateness of this episode, I'm dealing with some very noisy construction at my house that is interfering with my recording schedule. In this episode I provide a brief update on my novel polishing and throw out some thoughts I have on what artistic voice is and how to develop it.

What happens when someone who hates deadlines decides to try one out? Listen to hear all about my recent experience of setting a deadline for myself to finish my novel. Spoiler: I hit it! In this episode I talk about why I'm usually against deadlines, when they are useful, how to know if you are ready to take the next step in your project and set a big one for yourself, and how to set endogenous deadlines that serve YOU, rather than exogenous ones that serve the gods of toxic productivity.

Why is it that after all the work you've put into your creative project you hit your biggest resistance when you can finally see the finish line? This is what happened to me this summer when I was trying to finish my novel (which will be done next week!!!). Turns out this is totally normal, and in this episode I talk about why this happens and how to move through it.This episode marks a return to my regular programming after taking the summer to work through the above-mentioned resistance. If you want the full story as it happened (cause I'm all about sharing the process), listen to the update episode I released over the summer months!Here is the talk with Matthew Bellringer that I mentioned.

This is my final update on this strange summer that was full of change, growth, and pure panic, if I'm honest! I'll be returning to my regular type of programming in a couple weeks, and in this episode I give you a taste of the episodes topics I'm planning. They are all based on my experiences this summer tackling draft 10 of my novel, The Gentle History: new challenges, lessons learned, and wisdom gained.

I finally have some excellent news to share! I've had a creative breakthrough on my novel and am on track to finish it by mid-September. In this episode I share what led to the breakthrough, what it feels like, and my tentative plans for when I'm done.

This is a grab bag of an episode in which I tell a long and rambling story about what getting my house tented for drywood termites has to do with the Empire State Building, share my thoughts on what I've learned about creative process as I've worked through my writer's block, give two examples of how I've humbled myself to art recently, and declare a new creative identity for myself.Here is the episode of the podcast Bewildered I mention.

In which I talk about how I'm working through my current writer's block and the importance of surrendering to the ebb and flow of creativity.Here is the newsletter by Nick Cave that I discuss in this episode.

In which I discuss some recent developments in my life and the steps I am taking to deal with the circumstances.

Many creatives and artists have a bit of the lone wolf in them. But generally speaking, being a lone wolf is looked down on in society. In this episode I mount a defense of this personality type and discuss some of the things that make lone wolves awesome human beings worthy of understanding, love, and admiration.