I Swear on My Mother’s Grave

Welcome to 2024! I miss you and even though the podcast has officially ended, I still have so much great content you haven’t heard. So how about a little bonus episode to kick off the year!Jesse Moss is the rockstar Director of Marketing at Experience Camps, an award-winning national nonprofit that transforms the lives of grieving children through summer camp programs and year-round initiatives. She’s in charge of developing strategies and content to create a more grief-sensitive culture and advocate for grieving children. She's also the voice and creator behind the Experience Camps TikTok (over 45 million views and counting!). In this episode, we talk about the death of Jesse’s brother Jordan to suicide when she was just 22. You’ll also hear how Jesse’s complicated relationship with her mother eventually turned into deep love (and funny emoji's!) for the last five years of her mom’s life.We also talk about Experience Camps’ free summer youth programs, and how working there has turned Jesse’s “loss into leadership.” (Don’t steal her tagline!)Have you signed up for the podcast newsletter yet? Sign up on our website, and make sure to follow us on Instagram. Links mentioned in the episode:Experience Camps HomepageExperience Camps TikTokGRIEF SUCKS HomepageGRIEF SUCKS Instagram and TikTokExperience Camps is in Vogue!Daisy's episode on this podcastHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome to I Swear on My Mother’s Grave and the finale episode of Season 3. Yay! 3 seasons, baby! I don’t want to bury the lead…so, I also want to welcome you to the end of my podcast journey with all of you. This is it, friends. I am turning off the mic after this episode, but I might release a special compilation of conversations you haven’t heard yet at some point…so don’t unsubscribe forever! It’s hard for me to say goodbye to you all, and to this show because it has changed my life, AND this is the best community of listeners and now friends, in the world. But sometimes things end. Naturally. And that’s how this feels, it feels like the right time. And the right moment in MY grief journey to step away. So, since goodbyes are hard, it just felt fitting to end this journey talking about preparing to say goodbye to those we love, and to share with you all what I learned about sitting with the dying as I approached my Nana’s death this past summer. In this episode, you are going to get to hear an excerpt of a conversation I had with Uma Girish, a spiritual mentor and author, who helped me prepare to say goodbye to my 96 year old Nana. I will tell you what those 4 days sitting bedside with her were like as Uma’s advice kept rumbling thru my mind, and childhood memories of both my mother, and my Nana resurfaced…and how maybe this entire podcast journey was leading me to this moment. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, yearly retreats and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram.  Links mentioned in the episode: Uma Girish is a Spiritual Mentor and Author: https://umagirish.com/   Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Today’s guest is a friend I met on TikTok. Yep! Mary McGreevy, hosts the Tips from Dead People page on TikTok, where she earnestly, and respectfully curates and personally reads unique obituaries from submissions she receives from all over the world. She has collected stacks of obituaries for years, and has now built quite an online following! Mary and I connected this summer around the time my beloved 96 year old Nana, my mom’s mom, was dying. Through our conversations on and off the mic, Mary helped me write my Nana’s obituary by providing some beautiful examples of other obituaries she has loved, and reminding me to focus on the little things in life. And you will get to hear me read my Nana's obituary live on the mic. :) Like me, Mary believes “That a well-told story never fails to deliver wisdom, humor, and even a bit of advice on how to live the good life.” Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, yearly retreats and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram.  Links From This Episode: Mary McGreevy's TikTok account “Tips from Dead People”  Obituary Tips  Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Mitchell Fain was born a natural storyteller. He is an incredible actor/comedian/circus performer who grew up in a Jewish home in Rhode Island and now lives in Chicago. In this episode, we will talk about how his bingo-gambling mother never cleaned her stove, lived on Winston cigarettes and Oreo cookies, and taught her children to lie to the electric company when bills were due. She also married an alcoholic, Mitchell’s father. We will talk about how his mother lived with undiagnosed depression for most of her life, and how everything wrong with us IS our parent’s fault … but it is OUR responsibility to fix it. Oh, and Katharine Hepburn will make an appearance as well! Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, yearly retreats and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram. And thank you to Chloe Baldwin for the social media support. Links mentioned in the episode: Mitchell will want you to listen to “Guilty” with Barbra Streisand and Barry Gibbs after listening to this episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Phh9B1-4EYs  Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Jessica Guthrie is a millennial, only child of a single mother living with Alzheimer’s. She likes to say that she has made an active, conscious choice to care for her mother in the last 8 years, at first commuting from Texas to Virginia, but now living with her mother as her full-time caregiver since 2019. In this episode, Jessica and I talk about the definition of caregiving and what it means to her now. We also chat about how Jessica always thinks, “What would my mom have done for me?” if their roles were reversed, how hard dating is as a caregiver, advocating for good care for our loved ones, and how dignity in caregiving isn’t about you—it’s all about the other person. As Jessica likes to say to her mom, “I got you!” And I hope after listening today, and following Jessica on Instagram at Career & Caregiving Collide, you will feel like she has you too, as she spends a lot of her life now educating others about what she has learned caring for her own mother living with dementia. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, yearly retreats and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram.  And thank you to Chloe Baldwin for the social media support. Links mentioned in the episode: Follow Jessica on Instagram @CareerCaregivingCollide  Jessica Guthrie’s homepage  Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

The one and only, Barri Leiner Grant is here. Barri is the Chief Grief Officer and a Certified Grief Coach with The Memory Circle, a space and place to be with your grief. When Barri’s own beautiful mother died in 1993, there were no resources available to help her family through the pain. Nobody said grief or grieving. She knew motherless daughters deserved better. So, she created and opened a door where there wasn't one before and eventually started The Memory Circle.  Barri said “I want grief to be normalized. It needs a better place to live in modern day society. Let’s work on becoming more grief literate in our daily lives.” In this episode, we chat about her mother’s final days in a beach chair eating plums, writing to the dead, how to reframe big milestones in our lives, and menopause. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, yearly retreats and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram.  And thank you to Chloe Baldwin for the social media support. Links mentioned in the episode  The Memory Circle - Barri’s organization  Purchase Barri’s “Remember and Reflect” Deck  David Kessler’s book “Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief”   Claire Bidwell Smith’s book “Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief”  Steve Leder’s book “The Beauty of What Remains”  Hope Edelman’s book “Motherless Daughters” and others Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

In this episode, my dear friend Kevin, talks about how his Christian mother struggled to accept her son’s sexuality even though she deeply loved him, and he loved her. Kevin’s mother always avoided the spotlight for most of her life, made a choice to learn sign language later in life, and loved working with the Deaf and hard-of-hearing community. “I think in general, my mom never accepted her fabulousness. She kind of got lost being the middle child in a family of big personalities, then she got married and became a mom and her life became all about her family. She didn’t like the spotlight on her, and never thought anyone would be interested in her story.” This is her story, told thru her son. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, live events and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram.  And thank you to Chloe Baldwin and Alexandra Cohl for all the PR and social media support.Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Hey! Pull up a chair and let’s talk about how to set our loved ones up for success by making a will and checking it twice. It is one of the kindest things you can do for the people who love you.  Wading thru grief without dealing with the legal system is complicated enough, so thinking ahead about what COULD happen to you, and planning next steps, is key. Our guest, Ryan Holmes, is with the law firm Clark Hill, and I met him in the weeks following my own mother’s death in 2016. He was patient and kind with me, and taught me ALL about wills/estates…and let me cry in his office. In this episode, Ryan and I talk about end of life wishes, how to pick your beneficiaries, what probate court is, how messy and complicated things can get when documents are left unsigned. And Ryan gets to take off his attorney hat for a moment to remember the mother he lost over 17 years ago. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, live events and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram.  And thank you to Chloe Baldwin and Alexandra Cohl for all the PR and social media support. Links mentioned in the episode: Clark Hill -  Ryan's law firm: https://www.clarkhill.com/ Other resources available here: https://www.investopedia.com/best-online-will-makers-4843732  Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

In this episode, Amanda shares the shocking moment in her early 20s that she discovered she was adopted, how her lone-wolf mother“ loved to party," what meeting her birth mother in a coffee shop felt like, why the smell of gasoline reminds her of her childhood, and how spending time with her own young daughter Lola is the most time she has ever spent with someone she is biologically related to.  Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, live events and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram. And thank you to Chloe Baldwin and Alexandra Cohl for all the PR and social media support. Links mentioned in the episode: Check out 2nd Story for more amazing live stories like Karla Estela Rivera's Condom World. Trust me, it's great. Mothers, Puerto Rico and sex shops. Enjoy!   Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome to the 3rd Season! In this episode, a mother and a daughter are going to try to remember a fight they had (yep, they are going to struggle to find ONE example), they are going to discuss suicide and personal end of life wishes together (so please take care while listening), they are going to talk about making art and teaching children, and they are going to thank the universe that somehow…they got to be together in this one lifetime. And I am just going to be along for the ride. A ride that took me thru my own internal emotions, and made me really miss my mother, while being deeply jealous of them AND overwhelmingly happy to witness these two people’s affection and support for each other. Yeah, the podcast tagline says “complex maternal loss,” people!  Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, live events and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram. Thank you to Chloe Baldwin and Alexandra Cohl for all the PR and social media support. And thank you to Malcolm Dalglish for the beautiful music he made just for this episode. We are so grateful! Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

I missed you, and I hope you missed me too! Drumroll, please…we are coming back with a 3rd Season on Mother’s Day! Yay. I can't wait for you to get to meet all of these amazing humans. So many stories, people to learn from...and a big reminder that you are not alone in this journey. We got you and we GET you!  This show is for you, the living.  I can't wait to talk to you soon. And remember, our summer Mother's Grave Retreat is June 8-11, 2023 and all the information on how to register, or donate to help someone else attend, is right here! We hope you will join us at the lake!  You can also sign up for our Mother's Grave newsletter at our website, or follow us on Instagram for more photos and behind the scenes podcast content.  Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome to the last episode of Season 2! Yay! Do you believe that someone can love more than one person during their lifetime? Do you ever wonder what your parent’s sexual history or desires were? Are you curious about how to talk to your own young daughters about intimacy and sex and pleasure? Are you craving hearing a guest play guitar during a podcast interview? Well then we have the conversation for you! Cory Goodrich is an actor, singer, musician, songwriter, painter, mother, and the writer of a poignantly funny, forgiving, warm, and honest memoir called Folksong: A Ballad of Death, Discovery, and DNA. Cory seemed to always be curious about whether or not the man who raised her was her actual biological father, and after her mother died she found letters and a photograph that proved her greatest fears. In her memoir, Cory writes “Like my mother, I have things to erase. I am not a bastard. I am a love child. I am their child, borne and shaped by their love.” Thanks for being here! This show isn’t just about our moms, it’s about us. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, and see behind the scenes content on our website. AND the next Mother's Grave retreat is LIVE. Come attend this incredible experience on the water from June 8-11, 2023. Join us for community, story sharing, healing, levity, friendship and rest. More info about this life changing retreat can be found ⁠here!⁠ Follow us on Instagram. Links mentioned in the episode: https://righttoknow.us - Great website with lots of info on NPEs and Late Discovery adoption. They have a list of counselors and other classes. https://corygoodrich.com/book - Cory’s website and a link to buy her book, Folksong: A Ballad of Death, Discovery, and DNA https://music.apple.com/us/album/long-way-around/1577281366 - Cory’s full album Long Way Around. Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Today, it’s just you and me in front of a crackling fire talking about holidays past, American Girl Dolls, and inherited objects that are heavy literally AND figuratively. Grab a cup of hot cocoa, put on a warm robe and let’s process some grief around the holidays and reminisce together. Happy holidays, to you and yours … however you celebrate.  Thanks for being here! This show isn’t just about our moms, it’s about us. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram.Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

This episode features my first pair of siblings! Billy and his sister Evelyn are actually half siblings, and they grew up in Texas. Their mother was raised a missionary kid, became a beloved math teacher, loved to travel, had a cackle that could cut thru the room, birthed a mini version of herself in her daughter Evelyn, and was taken from this life way too soon, and eclipsed way too often during her lifetime, and beyond. Billy and Evelyn want to make sure their mother doesn’t get eclipsed ever again, and that she is forever “known.” Thanks for being here! This show isn’t just about our moms, it’s about us. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, and see behind the scenes content on our website. AND the next Mother's Grave retreat is LIVE. Come attend this incredible experience on the water from June 8-11, 2023. Join us for community, story sharing, healing, levity, friendship and rest. More info about this life changing retreat can be found here! Follow us on Instagram.Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

This episode’s guest is Rachel Matlow, a producer, audio content creator, and writer based in Canada. They created one of my favorite audio pieces ever, “Dead Mom Talking,” which won the Third Coast International Audio Festival Best New Artist award in 2016. I discovered the piece in 2021 and haven’t stopped thinking and telling people about it since. As Rachel’s mother was dying, Rachel recorded the two of them as they binge-watched TV, traded dark humor, and talked. That way, months after their mom’s death, Rachel could sneak in one more conversation with the person they needed to hear from the most. In this episode, we talk about loving our mothers despite their decisions around medical care, how it’s important to get your end of life AND after death party plansin order. We chat about Rachel’s memoir Dead Mom Walking: A Memoir of Miracle Cures and Other Disasters, our mother’s ashes, and you will get to hear the ultimate “exit interview” in the form of their mother’s final words of wisdom, humor, and musings about their extraordinary child. Go buy Rachel’s memoir Dead Mom Walking: A Memoir of Miracle Cures and Other Disasters, and check out the full CBC Radio “The Sunday Edition” feature here. Thanks for being here! This show isn’t just about our moms, it’s about us. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, and see behind the scenes content on our website. You can also learn all about our NEW Mother's Grave Retreats, and sign up for information about our next one this summer, June 8-11, 2023! Follow us on Instagram. Links Mentioned in This Episode: Third Coast Audio piece https://thirdcoastfestival.org/feature/dead-mom-talkingHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Greg Geffrard lost his Haitian mother when he was only 16. She died from AIDS, but that is only a part of her story. This is an episode about a black son seeing his mother’s infectious “joy” and wanting to protect it. It’s about what it is like to watch the women in your life being mistreated and hurt by the men who were supposed to be your role models. It’s about revisionist history towards our parents, and the many faces of our mothers. It’s about the advice we give young people when dealing with grief and learning to ask the right questions. Thanks for being here! This show isn’t just about our moms, it’s about us. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, and see behind the scenes content on our website.  Follow us on Instagram.Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome to the second season of I Swear on My Mother’s Grave podcast. In this episode, we go back to my mom's former classroom at Glenbard North High School in Carol Stream, Illinois, where she taught honors biology for over 20 years. She retired in 1996, and trust me when I say that the room looked like a time capsule—completely the same as it was when she left. I'm not exaggerating!  My guest, Mandy Walsh, was one of my mom's students. Join us as we both see the classroom again for the first time in years, then sit in tiny classroom desks among test tubes and lab tables to talk with Deb Cartwright, one of the school’s assistant principals and a former mentee of my mom’s. We chat about my mother's fashion sense and what it's like to grapple with burnout and career identity as a woman. Plus: a poem written by Billy Corgan of The Smashing Pumpkins resurfaces (because my mom must have somehow known this particular student of hers would become famous)! And ... did my mom drink her own urine? It’s still a mystery.  Thanks for being here! This show isn’t just about our moms, it’s about us. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram.Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome to the 2nd Season of I Swear on My Mother’s Grave podcast. My second guest this season is the one and only…Peter Sagal, the long running host of NPR’s news/trivia game show Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me! In this episode, Peter and I chat about dealing with grief on a public stage, running, divorce, new marriages, new babies, chronic pain, Jewish mothers, and a word called “forgiveness?” Thanks for being here! This show isn’t just about our moms, it’s about us. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram. Links Mentioned in This Episode: Check out New Leonard Media, where I did this interview up in Michigan: “New Leonard Media, providing audio and video support to leaders of positive change. Based in Traverse City, MI." Go buy Peter's book, The Incomplete Book of Running: https://bookshop.org/books/the-incomplete-book-of-running-9781508276548/9781451696257 Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

We are back, baby! Welcome to the 2nd Season of I Swear on My Mother’s Grave podcast. My first guest is my friend Lauren Montgomery. She is an amazing actor, a new mom, and a professor at Chicago’s Truman College. In this episode, we talk about preparing for my wedding this past summer, how to manage a big life moment without your mom by your side, how romantic relationships are modeled to us by our folks, and when your own mother asks you to be her maid of honor.  Thanks for being here! This show isn’t just about our moms, it’s about us. Sign up for all the latest news around this podcast, and see behind the scenes content on our website. Follow us on Instagram. Links Mentioned in This Episode:  Trust me, if you are into beautiful art and amazing oracle cards, Sarah Greenman is your person. Check her out: https://www.sarahgreenman.com/store Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Hey, I'm back! Real quick...to let you know that I am getting married this week! Ahh! And it's on the patio of my 95 year old Nana's nursing home. In this bonus/mini episode, I wanted to talk thru some of my fear around the words "till death do us part", navigating triggers around wedding planning in a world that loves making sure your Mom is present for everything, blue eye shadow and remembering to be present on the big day. I miss talking to you all, and I hope to come back with an amazing Season 2 in a few months. Click on our NEW website made by THE Tony Howell, and sign up for emails about the upcoming season, and a fall 2022 retreat experience we are creating at Cypress Resort and Marina. And thanks to Amanda Mayo for editing this episode, and Lauren for being so funny and wise.  As always, come follow us on Instagram for more photos and content.Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.