To L And Back: An L Word Podcast

To L and Back is a new podcast from Autostraddle.com in which Riese Bernard will be re-watching and discussing every episode of the iconic lesbian series we hate to love: The L Word! Join Riese and her Season One co-host, Buffering the Vampire Slayer's Kristin Russo, for this excruciating trip down memory lane. Logo Design by Carra Sykes Theme Song by Be Steadwell Episode Mix by Lauren Klein

Calling all heterosexual orphan shoplifters, it’s time for a “To L and Back” holiday special in which we recap the classic controversial holiday film, “Happiest Season,” starring our very own Kristen Stewart and Dan Levy and directed by Clea Duvall. Join two unpopular Jews as we traverse territory similar to The L Word’s: the collective psychological meltdown of a group comprised almost entirely of wealthy white people! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

It’s therapy time at the Los Angeles sheriff’s department and boi is there some interrogation going on!!! Who burned down wax? (Cue guitar riff) Who stole the negative? Who has pretty little eyes? Does Tina have parents? Bring your beloved and some poetry and we will get down to business but definitely nobody is gonna talk about who killed Jenny just in case you were wondering! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Several weeks ago, we gathered an all-star cast of friends of the pod for a LIVE reading of “The Farm,” the thwarted L Word spinoff that never got picked up, in which Alice was sent to prison for Jenny’s murder! Join Brittany Ashley, Brittani Nichols, Laura Zak, Fawzia Mirza, John Bellamy, Cerise Castle, El Sanchez, Analyssa Lopez, Drew Gregory, Erin Sullivan and Kelley Quinn on this very bad road in the podcast recording of the live reading! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUESTS @bishilarious, @analocaa, @heykq, @laurazak, @draw_gregory, @thefawz, @elsanchovilla, @drjohnboochie, @yourmajestcee, @active_senior_, @britt27ash Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein Special thanks to our broadcast producer, Karl Saint Lucy! @karlsaintlucy

On our very first episode of “To L and Back,” Kristin and Riese dig into our own relationships to this wonderful lesbian program and then plummet into The L Word’s first hour of groundbreaking television (with our leather bracelets on), in which Jenny moves to L.A. and Bette and Tina scour the town for viable sperm. Your Hosts: Riese Bernard; autostraddle.com; @autowin Kristin Russo; kristinnoeline.com; @kristinnoeline Logo Designed by Carra Sykes Theme Song by Be Steadwell Episode Mix by Lauren Klein

For Part Two of The L Word’s invigorating pilot, which Riese and Kristin honestly really liked a lot, lesbians have actual lesbian sex, nobody gets pregnant (yet!), Jenny has a big decision to make and The Chart begins tracking the mistakes of every lesbian, everywhere, forever. Your Hosts: Riese Bernard; autostraddle.com; @autowin Kristin Russo; kristinnoeline.com; @kristinnoeline Logo Designed by Carra Sykes Theme Song by Be Steadwell Episode Mix by Lauren Klein

This week on To L and Back, we’ve lovingly sliced tiny bits of our outstanding interview with Guinevere Turner into our recap of “Let’s Do It,” in which Alice pursues vaginal rejuvenation (for science!), the gals put together a mission to ascertain the disposition of one Ms Lara Perkins, Tim throws an awkward dinner party in an apron, and we all agree that pants were way too low-waisted in 2004. Also, our GIVE MIA KIRSHNER A RETROACTIVE EMMY campaign continues. To L & Back is an Autostraddle podcast produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren "Karen" Klein, and Kristin Russo Theme song by Be Steadwell Edited & Mixed by Lauren “Karen” Klein Logo by Carra Sykes Follow us on instagram @tolandback

We drank a LOT of wine with Guinevere Turner (who played Gaby Deavoux and wrote for The L Word’s first two seasons) and along the way, spoke about dildos, working with your ex, the Chart’s origin story, the electric Season One writers room and a fateful trip to Dinah Shore. Beware! This interview contains spoilers!

All hail Queen Peggy Peabody, who arrives this week for an art buying spree — but will she save Bette’s job?? Meanwhile, Lacey has discovered the joys of flyering, Lara’s finger injuries won’t get in the way of her hot date with Dana and Alice debates the pros and cons of asking Gabby to step off, bitch. Check out Autostraddle.com for your weekly episode footnotes and musical complaints. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Kristin Russo everywhere @kristinnoeline. Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Mixed & Edited by Lauren Karen Klein Produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren Karen Klein, and Kristin Russo

Alice’s eccentric mother Lenore is here and ready to lie because, at least according to Jenny’s Professor Nick Whatever, “everyone’s a liar, dear.” But are they? Or has Hector Projector STRUCK AGAIN? Also: why is Bette being so mean? Who puts pee on a plate? Did Tim remember to DVR the slalom performance? Why isn’t Lara more excited about Dana’s incredible orgasm? Did Riese notice that Mr. Piddles was in the frame? This week we will tackle these questions and so many more as we discuss “Lies Lies Lies,” which was honestly a very dark episode of The L Word. Check out Autostraddle.com for your weekly episode footnotes and musical complaints. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Kristin Russo everywhere @kristinnoeline. Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Mixed & Edited by Lauren Karen Klein Produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren Karen Klein, and Kristin Russo

Are you in the market for a whey protein smoothie? Well I hope so because that’s what you’re getting on this week’s “To L and Back,” in which we recap “Lawfully,” a real doozy of an episode in which Alice’s Mom is wild, Bette can’t believe Tina is gonna wear that dress, and Kristin would like Riese to stop saying “meat” so much! Check out Autostraddle.com for your weekly episode footnotes and musical complaints. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Kristin Russo everywhere @kristinnoeline. Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Mixed & Edited by Lauren Karen Klein Produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren Karen Klein, and Kristin Russo

Stuff those dirty ’shrooms in your face, poke her in the face and liquor in the rear and then brace yourself for a world in which suddenly nobody has a cell phone anymore cuz if they did there’d be no plot! Jenny’s still got her tights on though, just FYI, and Shane’s making some valuable business connections while Tim stomps around a lot, Bette takes a trip to New York City for an art opening, and Alice rides Lisa’s sensitive “lesbian-identified male” vibes. Will any of us be able to hold our horses for Twat the night? One thing’s for sure: Kristin really wants to bang a gong like ten times because WHAT THE L IS GOING ON HERE Check out Autostraddle.com for your weekly episode footnotes and musical complaints. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Kristin Russo everywhere @kristinnoeline. Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Mixed & Edited by Lauren Karen Klein Produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren Karen Klein, and Kristin Russo

Do you need a bath? Well then, you and Jenny have something in common! This week on The L Word, all tights are off and the yacht party is ON. Also: the girls stage a very important intervention with Bette and Tina in hopes of saving them from sinking into the deep, sticky quicksand of boring pregnancy conversations, Kristin has an incorrect opinion about warm milk, Dana and Lara cry in a restaurant, Lisa sent Reiki vibes to Alice and wonders if she heard them, everybody gets very drunk, people dance in various ways, there’s some full-frontal nudity, and Shane has deep thoughts about love and marriage. For those riveting events and so much more, you will not want to miss this week’s episode of To L and Back! Check out Autostraddle.com for your weekly episode footnotes and musical complaints. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Kristin Russo everywhere @kristinnoeline. Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Mixed & Edited by Lauren Karen Klein Produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren Karen Klein, and Kristin Russo

Join Riese and our guest co-host, director/writer Carly Usdin (who autowin fans will remember from Riese’s original L Word Recaps) AND our special celebrity guest, writer/actor/comic Brittani Nichols, for this week’s episode of “To L and Back,” in which Bette and Tina join Dan Foxworthy’s Special Social Group for Problematic Parents, Jenny’s college buddy comes to town with binoculars and an appetite for spy work, Dana tries to explain to her parents that it’s okay to be outdoorsy, and we finally get to attend West Hollywood’s hottest dance party, TWAT THE NIGHT. Don’t forget, little figs: everyone has feelings for their girlfriends but it doesn’t mean we have to act on them! Check out Autostraddle.com for your weekly episode footnotes and musical complaints. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Kristin Russo everywhere @kristinnoeline. Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Mixed & Edited by Lauren Karen Klein Produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren Karen Klein, and Kristin Russo

This week on another gripping episode of “To L and Back,” Cherie Jaffe tells Shane that in terms of what she can do for her, she needs a change; Conservatives turn out to have very different taste in art than Bette does, Dana gets set up with an Andrew, Jenny attempts to digest food and wine at a sadistic dinner party hosted by her ex-lover and her mean girlfriend, and Slim Daddy brings Kit a smoothie but she can drink her own smoothie, okay? Also Kristin is a furry. Check out Autostraddle.com for your weekly episode footnotes and musical complaints. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Kristin Russo everywhere @kristinnoeline. Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Mixed & Edited by Lauren Karen Klein Produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren Karen Klein, and Kristin Russo

Hey have you seen any bread… for toast? Jenny hasn't… at least not yet. Also, Alice hasn't gotten her period yet but guess what WE DON'T CARE. While everybody sorts all that out, Dana gets a haircut, Francesca and Marina continue torturing each other with wicked games, Bette prepares for a Mommi-off with Fae Buckley, Tina wants to help at-risk children at the Institute for Social Justice Mart, Shane continues falling for Cherie but first has to teach her daughter how to do putt-putt golf, and Dana and Jenny run into each other at the intersection of Sad and Hot. Also Riese was wrong about the palms being the last lesbian bar in LA, it was actually the last lesbian bar in West Hollywood and the second to last lesbian bar in LA. The last was The Oxwood Inn in the valley. Check out Autostraddle.com for your weekly episode footnotes and musical complaints. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Kristin Russo everywhere @kristinnoeline. Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Mixed & Edited by Lauren Karen Klein Produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren Karen Klein, and Kristin Russo

It’s our first-ever live episode of To L and Back, recorded live at A-Camp! Join us — and special guests Be Steadwell, Marni Kellison, Laneia Jones and two “margaritas” as we tackle the Dinah Shore episode. Dana will meet Tonya, her guest liaison, who is the worst, and Shane will recall the girl who took her sunshine toy and then her heart, and Jenny, who is not a 100-footer, will buy a “lesbians wanted” t-shirt and deliver a short monologue on the topic of Marina. We will talk about how hot Candace the Carpenter is when she’s out here workin’, and our own Dinah Shore medical emergencies, and the truth about cats and dogs and lesbians and the harmonies of “Closer to Fine” and when we’re done, everybody will go to the pool! Just watch out for disease okay? Shane might not be around to leave you a bottle of water. Check out Autostraddle.com for your weekly episode footnotes and musical complaints. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Kristin Russo everywhere @kristinnoeline. Thank you to special guests Laneia Jones, Marni Kellison, & Be Steadwell! Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Mixed & Edited by Lauren Karen Klein Produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren Karen Klein, and Kristin Russo

Who here can speak the language of the manatees? Well, not Jenny with that weird font, that’s for sure. Elsewhere this week, a protest breaks out at the California Art Center over whether or not it is true that Art = Filth, landing Bette, Candace, Alice, Dana and Shane in the ’ol clinker, where Candace and Bette fight sexual tension with road trip games. Meanwhile, Dana’s monster girlfriend is left alone with her cat, Tina does 150 good deeds in one day, Kit starts a flirty friendship with a sexy drag king, Jenny and Marina both go on dates with Robin the Trapeze Artist and Tim enjoys beers and basketballs. Check out Autostraddle.com for your weekly episode footnotes and musical complaints. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Kristin Russo everywhere @kristinnoeline. Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Mixed & Edited by Lauren Karen Klein Produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren Karen Klein, and Kristin Russo

It’s time for the finale of The L Word’s first stunning season and boi did we have feelings this week!! Provocations is finally making its big debut, Jenny is playing the dating game, Ivan loves a lip sync, Alice doesn’t think Dana should marry tonya, Shane is spiraling over Cherie and HOW WILL IT ALL END? WILL IT BE JUST LIKE THEY SAID IT WOULD BE?? WILL LIFE GO EASY ON ME? Tina will throw a shoe. Check out Autostraddle.com for your weekly episode footnotes and musical complaints. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Kristin Russo everywhere @kristinnoeline. Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Mixed & Edited by Lauren Karen Klein Produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren Karen Klein, and Kristin Russo

This week on To L and Back, Riese has four of her Autostraddle Senior Editors right there with her at a table because for just one week a year, we actually work in the same location instead of all over this damn country! First, we quiz Rachel, L Word Virgin, on what happened in Season One (which she has never seen) and then we talk about our fave characters and sex scenes and then we reveal the true reason for this podcast episode (it involves an upcoming fundraiser!!!) It’s just a super fun hang for all of us and I think you’ll like it.  Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow: Carmen @carmencitaloves Laneia at @grrreen Sarah at @sarwarrior Rachel @danascullyirl Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Mixed & Edited by Lauren Karen Klein Produced by Riese Bernard, Lauren Karen Klein, and Kristin Russo

It’s our Season 2 Premiere with our new co-host Carly Usdin AND a super-special guest, actor/activist Vico Oritz (Vida, Misdirection)! Five months have passed (or have they??) since we last saw any of these women in their underwear or their jackets, and Jenny’s been collecting rejection letters while a baby grows inside Tina and everybody spreads rumors about Marina. Also, Dana and Alice battle sexual tension, Tina flips a table, Bette has some excuses to share, Shane is going to do Arianna Huffington and WE MEET CARMEN FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!! Plus: introducing our new segment HOT GOSS, in which we share special hot gossip!   Check out Autostraddle.com for your weekly episode footnotes and musical complaints. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow SUPER SPECIAL GUEST Vico Oritz on instragram @puertoricaninja and twitter @vickyvicovi Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited by Lauren Klein (@laurentaylorklein)   

This week on "To L and Back," super special guest Brittany Ashley joins Riese and Carly to discuss "Lap Dance," an episode in which Robin gets left at the altar, somebody drops a camera onto a Lazy Susan at a Chinese restaurant, Shane crashes a music video shoot to play tonsil hockey with Carmen, Tanya charms Dana's Cylon parents, Kit tries to lock down the Planet and Dana and Alice continue to battle ELECTRIC SEXUAL TENSION and Jenny is EEEK a bad writer. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow SUPER SPECIAL GUEST Brittany Ashley @britt27ash Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited by Lauren Klein (@laurentaylorklein)    

If you're game to play "Too Hot" with Carmen in her boyshorts then you have a lot in common with all of us, and also Shane, and possibly also Jenny? On this week's episode with special guest and certified Friend Of The Pod Brittani Nichols, Alice is shaking the lesbian phone tree with the delusional expectation that Pink might fall out, Dana's thighs feel great, Tonya's planning the first-ever corporate sponsored lesbian wedding, Bette is unraveling at alarming speed, Tina's wearing a blanket again and moving in to Joyce's guest house and Jenny's gonna get into Charlotte's writing class if it's the last thing she does! All of this and more awaits you in our thrilling episode!!  Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST and FRIEND OF THE POD Brittani Nichols (@bishilarious) Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited by Lauren Klein (@laurentaylorklein)

Hello, Helena! This week on "The L Word" we meet two new main characters — Helena, who we love and Mark, who we hate. Special guest Drew Gregory, who ranks "Lynch Pin" as her second-favorite-episode of all time, joins us for this journey. Will Shane & Jenny find a roommate who will keep their clothes on and stop talking about Jesus? Was New York prepared for how good Jennifer Beals looks when she walks down the street and will Helena support her little arts project? Will the ol switcharoo work to divert Carmen's attention from Shane to Jenny? What does Dana WANT from Alice WHAT DOES SHE WANT and where did those palm trees come from? Why are they making us endure T.O.E??!!! All that and more on this week's ep of To L and Back! TAKE A SURVEY! http://survey.libsyn.com/tolandback Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Drew Gregory @draw_gregory Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited by Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Dana and Ton-Tom are prepping for their weird bachelorette party but Dana gets a little distracted by Alice’s amazing rack. Meanwhile, Kit is turning a profit thanks to TOE ughhhh, we came up with 50 ways to murder mark and Gomey while they hang up 50 hidden cameras, Helena Peabody gives Tina a big grant and gives Bette absolutely nothing at all besides a hot tip on Tina’s pregnancy and then everybody attends a really really bad party! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin @carlytron Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited by Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

WHAT’S IN THE LIVE PLANT BOX? It’s raging feminist Carmen Rios, our special guest for this week’s episode of “To L and Back,” in which Carmen De La Pica Morales pours a lot of beer on Shane’s shirt, Shane gets a very attentive flower delivery person, Dana plays in the Rooti Tooti Fresh and Fruity Tennis Tournament but is a little distracted about how badly she needs to tell Ton-Ton that she’s totally not in this relationship anymore, Alice would LOVE for Dana to do this already, also btw Bette fucked up but she did NOT fuck off. Furthermore, Tina is going to a very special dinner at the Chateau Marmont but Tina gets so horny and bored that before long guess who’s having #poolsex?????  Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin: @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Carmen Rios @carmenriosss Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, & Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Listen I don’t mean to sound like a bad feminist but Bette Porter you have been MEAT-TAGGED and the ladies are lining up around the block to sign your dance card after this gripping classical guitar concert! Cobie Smulders, however, is NOT in line, although she does look great in that vest and she makes some pretty cool mobiles. Also, Veronica Bloom’s gonna peel her face off her face, Venice Beach hosts Shell Art with Tina and a Brawl with Shane, Jenny educates her writing class on the joys of orgasming with another woman, Helena battles her ex (Winnie. Winnie Mann) for custody, Jenny and Carmen continue to awkwardly date and make out (PSA: don't slap someone in the face without their consent!) and Mark CONTINUES TO EXIST.  Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited by Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

  Carly and Riese here, welcoming you — and our special guest, producer/actress/writer Laura Zak (Her Story, Danger & Eggs, Angel On Top Podcast)— to another thrilling episode of "To L and Back" in our brand-new Alice Piesecki inspired radio voices. But before Alice can get to her KCRW audition, she's gotta stop having nonstop sex with Dana "Tennis Anyone" Fairbanks! Also — Laura Zak gifts us with hands-down totes the most incredible L Word origin story of all time, Bette finally shows her stuff for the Top-Off, you'll NEVER GUESS who Gabby Deveaux is dating now, Winne Mann plops her kids in Bette's pool, Helena hunts for a new house in which to fingerbang Tina in semi-public places, Jenny and Carmen kiss a lot and watch westerns, Jenny gets and loses a new writing job and Shane continues brooding. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our special guest Laura Zak @la_wa (twitter), @laurazak (insta) Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Good morning to the seagulls and Helena Peabody's glistening skin, it's time for a VERY SEXY episode of The L Word in which Tina and Bette reunite for a little afternoon delight, Jenny and Carmen warm the porcelain together, Dana goes strap-on shopping, Tina is living her best Robe Life and wants to get the neighbors involved. Bette and Helena meet up for a top-off at the CAC with special guest Allyn Barnes and we all get a sneak-peak of our favorite short film, "Shane/Carmen Love Confession." Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Let's get on the Lez Boat with everybody's favorite awkward threesome: Jenny, Shane and Carmen! Oh and guess who else? It's our special guest, renowned actress Jasmin Savoy Brown! Before we head out to sea, Jenny would like to know, Mark, if THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT. Bette's unnaturally excited about another visit from her father, who loves the TOE guy but is also clearly very sick. Dana and Alice have an embarrassing incident with sex toys and the TSA, and play dress-up on their own private love boat. Meanwhile, Tina's gonna be honored at a special dinner for her community service and also for having boobs that look great in expensive dresses. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Jasmin Savoy Brown @jasminsavoy Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Full of gay pride? Full of gay shame? Either way, this week’s episode of “To L and Back” is for you as we journey through the Seven Stations of the Cross and a lightly attended Pride Parade in West Hollywood with very special guest, actress/writer/noted bottom Chingy! Dana’s brother Howie pays her and Alice a surprise visit. Bette and her backwards spine dress hang out at the hospital with Melvin, who doesn’t want to touch the fetus through Tina’s belly because that would be highly inappropriate. Mark’s invasive video project has sent Jenny on a psychological spiral but she has some choice words for the filmmaker, too. Also, Shane’s ready to get into her #hamsterpast with Carmen and you can put THAT on your clipboard. We’re gonna be riding into the sunset with the motorcycle lesbians. Plus: tips on what NOT to eat before a three-hour BDSM seminar! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Chingy @thegaychingy Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Edited, Mixed: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

It’s the pentultimate episode of the L Word season two and everybody is sad! WOMP WOMP. Bette and Kit are taking care of their dying father, Jenny’s reckoning with the PTSD triggered by Mark and also is going to pay her own rent with her new gig at the Howling Coyote, a crowded room of terrible men screaming!!! On the bright side, we have Arlan Hamilton, longtime L Word fan and founder of Backstage Capital, on the show to experience the sadness and mourning right alongside us! Also PEACHES IS HERE AND SHANE LOVES PEACHES. Also: Dana shaves her legs, maybe for Lara but maybe not, and Helena goes on three dates in one day. And a warm welcome back to Tina’s pink poncho!!!!! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Arlan Hamilton @ArlanWasHere Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

It’s the Season Two finale and we’re all here to mourn a death and celebrate a birth and witness an entire live concert fundraiser for the Ms foundation! That’s right, Gloria Steinem is in the house for some very awk convos about feminism and furthermore, Tina would like to give birth in a dunk tank. Alice fears Lara’s take on the pear polenta tart might woo Dana away from her, Shane opens the car door for Carmen and later removes her orange pants for a very sexy date, the Top-Off continues and Peggy Peabody shows up to deliver the final punch and win our tiny hearts.  Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

For our Sesaon 2 wrap-up and mailbag podcast we were joined by very special and convenient guests @robinshoots, Carly's wife, and @laurentaylorklein, our podcast producer!!! Also: by you, via your emails, voicemails, and general auras. Come along as we continue discussing the murder of Mark and Gomey, Tina's ponchos and what my dog Carol thinks about all this. Plus: bonus footage cut from the original podcast episodes! Y'all are real cute you don't wanna miss this. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Well pals, we are finally at Season Three, which Carly describes as "a real treat," which was sarcastic, obviously. Writer / Actor / Filmmaker Fawzia Mirza joins us as we address topics including looking at your peeper in the mirror, Alice and Dana's breakup turning Alice into a completely different character, Jenny's refusal to be a nice Jewish girl who acts like bad things don't happen, Tina hating the word "clit", Kate Clinton's cameo as a sex therapist peddling ice cube trays, Bette's passionate unemployment and Lara's special cookies for Dana. We also meet Max and Angus for the first time, see Helena in a white bikini, and meet Carmen's Mom. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Fawzia Mirza @thefawz Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein  

Welcome to a very Frankensteined episode of "To L and Back"! Carly had to skip town this weekend, but you can join Riese and her very special guest host, friend-of-the-pod Drew, as they overanalyze “Lost Weekend” — but that’s not all! Guest contributors Yvonne Marquez and Gloria Delgadillo-Alvarado have recapped all the Quinceañera-related scenes for you all the way from Texas! Join us as Jenny and Max do a Great Plains Bar-hop, Shane wears a wig, Daddyof2 logs on to his fave chat room, Alan Cumming hosts Vulva Las Vegas, Bette worries about her relationship with Tina falling apart like sand through the hourglass and Helena hires a hottie to clean up Alice’s weird shrine. Also, Carmen does that dance in her lingerie, so. Yvonne and Gloria are v cute and funny you do NOT WANT TO MISS THIS. This episode of To L and Back is supported by MCD, the publisher of HIGH SCHOOL, the new memoir by the musicians TEGAN AND SARA! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow Drew Gregory @draw_gregory Follow our SPECIAL GUESTS! @gloriapoderosa @queertejana Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Carmen's shopping for gig vests at Wax, Max and Shane are gonna be butch and help the ladies out with their luggage, Bette's had just about enough of Tina's petty bourgeois anxiety and everybody is very clear about their intentions to attend a dinner tonight in honor of Jenny and male lobsters, who behave better than female lobsters while in a pot together. Also: Dana gets a mammogram, Shane and Carmen are puppy-sitting for some reason, we didn’t know Mark Epstein was a real person and Alice has a really bad psychiatrist! Special thanks to our episode sponsor, MCD! The publisher for the new memoir High School, by Tegan and Sara! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited by Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

This week we are so pleased to announce that Cerise Castle, an actual employee of KCRW, joined us to discuss topics including Alice's dubious KCRW show about Dana / interconnectivity / weapons of mass destruction / giving a pig a pancake. Also: Bette yells about art and has finger intercourse with Senator Barbara Grisham (played by Dana Delaney), Jenny burns her book, Bif Naked talks about top surgery, Tina is a major league c*nt, Dana meets her hero Billie Jean King, Carmen has to decide between a major career opportunity and a party at a skate shop, Helena wants to over-finance Dylan's movie and so much more! A special thanks to this episode sponsor LOLA! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Cerise Castle @yourmajestcee Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

This week on “To L and Back,” noted bisexual and prolific author Gaby Dunn of the “Bad With Money” podcast joins us for an analysis of “Lifeline,” Riese’s favorite episode of the season! It contains THREE entire sex scenes, a stunning confession from Tina about her extracurricular activities with Daddyof2, a classic “is she or isn’t she a vampire” escapade, tight trousers, a strap-on mystery, bisexual speed dating, a surprise haircut for Cherie Peroni in FULL MOMMI SPLENDOR, Jenny’s trip to the store for a six-pack and also some truly tragic events for Dana and Max. Plus: Tina didn’t know Buddhism could be so expensive! Special thanks to our episode sponsor LOLA! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our Gaby Dunn Name of special guest @gabydunn / @gabyroad Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Riese and Carly are back on “to l and back” picking up right where we left off — deep in the mud of season three! Comedian Jes Thom joins us for episode 306, wherein topics of conversation include strap on mechanics, monogamy amongst birds, how we are supposed to believe that Dylan isn’t gay, Tina exploring her interest in flesh and blood men, Jenny’s survivor memoir and so much more! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Jes Tom @jestom, @jesthekid Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Musician Mal Blum joins us for this beefy-armed episode of “To L and Back,” “Lone Star.” TIna “goes to Canada” to chill at craft services with fucking Josh Becker, Jenny “shoots Max up” with hormones, the girls host a Happy First Chemo Pool Party for Dana, Billie’s bender continues to destroy everything in its wake, Alice chases a Dana cutout across several SoCal landfills, Shane and Carmen get matching tattoos, Eve Ensler hates Jenny’s book and everybody comes together to see the B-52s rock it at The Planet! Special thanks to this episode's sponsor, Care/Of (@careofvitamins)! For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter code tolandback50 Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Mal Blum @malblum Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Filmmaker Rhys Ernst doubles the number of Rieses in our “recording studio: for “Late Comer,” a chaotic and ridiculous nightmare of an episode best known for the song “Transformation,” which haunts us to this day. Dylan and Helena have full sex, Shane’s in the shithouse ‘cause of Carmen’s bad dream, Bette ships off to a meditation retreat, Helena takes the whole gang to a WNBA game in a private jet, Max gets a pack-n-play, Alice goes wig shopping and Nona Hendryx is down with that do. Party on, Dana! Special thanks to this episode's sponsor, EveryPlate! Get 3 weeks of EveryPlate meals for only $2.99 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com and entering code tolandback3 Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Rhys Ernst @rhysernst Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Writer and breast cancer survivor Kim Hoffman pops in for this massive downer of an episode which includes Max’s Top Surgery Prom, Bette struggling with the sounds of silence, Helena and Dylan engaging in some sex tape nonsense, Tina falling for HENRY, Carmen shocking her parents with her devious lesbian rebellion, Alice going on one date with a character we forgot ever existed, Dana taking a turn for the worse and so much more! Special thanks to this episode's sponsor, ModCloth! To get 15% off your purchase of $100 or more INCLUDING sale items, go to Modcloth.com and enter code "tolandback" Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Kim Hoffman @the_hoff Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Friends, we have come to the end of the road for our dearest Dana Fairbanks. In an episode that allegedly spans 45 minutes of time but definitely actually spanned a good 3-4 hours of time, we witness Shane and Carmen having a late afternoon fight, Bette yodeling in the countryside, Tonya having a baby so she’ll never have to be alone, Jenny having a lunatic lunch with Tim, Alice buying a sunshine flower toy, Tina having a heterosexual lunch with Henry’s friends, and in a refreshing breath of the freshest air, a surprise appearance by our very own PEGGY PEABODY! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Hey, you know who's a lesbian? DANA FAIRBANKS!!!! This week on The L Word, we say goodbye to Dana Fairbanks for many minutes, with activities including yelling at a funeral, Carmen becoming a gardener, the ashes of 100 dead bodies, a hike to a magical waterfall, genuinely fun flashbacks, Max flexing his map-reading skills, Tina and Henry being a general nightmare, and everybody having an excuse finally to wear cute puffy coats! Come for Dana in pigtails, stay for the performance art. Special thanks to this episode's sponsor, EveryPlate! Get 3 weeks of EveryPlate meals for only $2.99 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com and entering code tolandback3 Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

This episode has everything: special guest comic Kelley Quinn (best known for not being cast as a barista in Generation Q), “Pussy 101,” Carmen’s entire family in winter coats, Alice popping pills and f*cking Lara, Shane’s Dad slouching, a winter wonderland Jenny eating sushi in bed with a french girl she just met, Bette confessing she cannot ski moguls, Bette stealing a baby and so much more! P.S. SOCIAL DISTANCING RULES Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Kelley Quinn @heyKQ Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

For our Season 3 Wrap-Up Pod, we invite comedian/writer/ Brittany Ashley to join us on FaceTime (because we are SOCIAL DISTANCING) to count down the best and worst moments of this terrible no-good very awful season — according to you!!! How much energy can we summon while also terrified and sad? There’s only one way to find out... Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST Brittany Ashley @britt27ash Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Hey Oh My God Have You Heard of OurChart??? It’s so much fun!!! Also, Season Four kicks off with complete mayhem — Shane becomes a sea otter and crashes a car, Bette’s on the lam with Angelica, Tina’s screaming at everybody, Joyce Wyshia is back and perfect, Helena’s poor and has to carry her own luggage, Jenny’s getting a visit from Claude and our favorite shape-shifter, Marina, is making a scene-stealing cameo at Jenny’s Book Party! Join Carly and Riese as they socially distance themselves through this real riot of an episode!!! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Comedian El Sanchez joins us from their social isolation in Olympia for this spirited episode in which we meet the legendary Papi from Our Chart, who doesn’t do breakfast and loves girls’ sadness and wetness. Also, Arizona Robbins short-shorts her way into Bette’s T.A. spot, Cybil Shepard arrives as Dean Phyllis Kroll who thinks she’s gay, Shay drinks 500 milkshakes, Max the sensitive feminist goes on a date, and Jenny finds out that Stacey Merkin is a duplicitous cunt!!!! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Follow our SPECIAL GUEST El Sanchez @elsanchovilla Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein

Rancho Notorious is West Hollywood’s hottest new Girls Night at The Planet. You’ll find Heads Will Roll Kroll on the prowl, Papi with a girl on each arm, many bales of hay and Shane, a skinny little white girl. But first, stop in on Tina and Henry’s Mixer for Our Gay and Straight Friends, a bona-fide disaster party full of honest homophobes and Bette’s intense top energy. Also, Jenny’s still upset about her review, Helena’s bad at jobs, and Nadia has never wanted to kiss anyone as much as she wants to kiss Bette Porter right now! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!  Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein