Nobody Panic

Nobody Panic

(The podcast formerly known as The Debrief Podcast) Your guidebook to being a fully functioning adult without screaming all the time. Each week, Stevie Martin and Tessa Coates tackle life's big, small, fun and sometimes scary questions with the help of experts and special guests because we're all in this together, guys. So nobody panic. Produced by Plosive. Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson. Be part of the Nobody Panic Patreon gang Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episodes

May 6, 2024 34 mins

Friends having babies? Not sure what to take round when you go to meet the new baby? Stevie put a callout on Instagram and there was a real consistency with the answers. In fact there's essentially only one thing new mums want and let us tell you, it's not an ornate Victorian hot air balloon (this is what Tessa took round to her friend).


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You’d think this was fairly straightforward, so why is it so hard to admit defeat? Why do we use words like “admit defeat” when discussing a book? The book doesn’t know you’re not reading it! Stevie had these epiphanies recently, after pretending to read Crime and Punishment for circa 25 years, and Tessa is eager to learn.


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April 22, 2024 32 mins

By request, Stevie and Tessa discover what the triangle symbol means and discuss what the drawers mean. There's also some lively debate around when you put the fabric conditioner in, don't say this podcast doesn't provide you with the most searing of hot content.


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April 15, 2024 35 mins

If you or anyone you know is running the London marathon (or any marathon) and would like to feel much better about your training: Tessa ran two marathons, one without much training and one without any. She didn’t die, she was quite angry at herself the second time, but this is crucial listening if you’re fed up of high performance sports podcasts and wish to listen to someone who has gone through many people’s (Stevie‘s) worst nig...

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Morning! Bored of toast? Stuck in a cereal rut? Constantly getting overwhelmed and eating one single mini egg (this may or may not be Tessa’s experience)? Stevie introduces Tessa to the concept of an egg and to be honest it all just spirals from there. 


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April 1, 2024 31 mins

Today's episode is brought to you by Stevie, Tessa and the amazing Fi - a 'spacecraft thermal engineer'(!), podcast listener, and Excel champion, who offers her exceptional talents and guidance to two gals terrified of spreadsheets. A beginner's guide to Excel for the chronically afraid. A genuinely helpful episode (we think).  


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March 26, 2024 32 mins

Wanting to take the plunge? Stevie went freelance and Tessa’s never technically been employed - they look at the pitfalls and difficulties of being your own boss, as well as how you can make the transition from PAYE as pain free as possible (get an accountant).


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March 19, 2024 34 mins

Stevie got a massage and loved it. Tessa gets them all the time for her stressed body. Together they offer advice if you’re thinking about going for the first time and, quite frankly, get far too worried about how to tell if your masseuse is going to give you a “happy ending” or not.


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March 12, 2024 32 mins

Stevie brings a lot to the (bedside) table in today's existential crisis/light-hearted advice podcast. What is a bedside table? Is yours three apple crates stacked precariously on top of each other, too shallow to hold a book, and too narrow to balance a lamp? This is the podcast for you.


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Tessa flies solo with 2/3 of the brilliant Birthday Girls, Beattie Edmondson and Rose Johnson! Tessa, unsupervised, forgets most of the things she’s supposed to do during a live episode and she and Rose give a good go at sorting Beattie’s life out. It’s a nice one.


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February 26, 2024 34 mins

Oof. Horrible thing to go through. Whether it’s you or a loved one going through it, Stevie and Tessa have some listener suggestions to make things as bearable as possible.


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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by Dav...

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What is an ombudsman? Is “Very Best” a normal sign off? Plus other questions, concerns and musings on how to write the perfect complaint letter/email/tripadvisor review with brilliant special guest Jonny Sweet. Go watch his hot new film Wicked Little Letters (out Feb 23) and also watch/read his hot new book The Kellerby Code (out March 19).


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As it’s nearly Valentine’s Day, here’s one for the new lovers. Stevie and Tessa navigate the absolute minefield of the Hard Launch. Who meets them first? Should you throw a Partner Reveal Party? What if nobody gets on? What if you must endure the agony of being perceived through the eyes of another? Starts off light, then Tessa has an emotional melt down. 


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Stevie and Tessa are joined by improviser and actor Lola-Rose Maxwell who has just bought via shared ownership. Stevie is interested in the possibility and so asks a lot of questions. There is a quiz involving Ryan Gosling that reveals a lot about Tessa's motivations. A lot of helpful advice in this episode for anyone wondering if shared ownership is for them.


Lola's improv show 'The Improvised Play' will be at The Arcola Theatr...

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January 29, 2024 27 mins

Quite an emotional roller-coaster this one. Couple of handy tips about improving the efficiency of an app quickly become an existential lament for the loss of analog in the digital age. Tessa can't grasp how to use bullet points, Stevie cries about her notebook, we learn almost nothing, an absolute classic Nobody Panic episode.


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January 22, 2024 36 mins

One of the most chaotic episodes ever recorded in the history of Nobody Panic. Tessa wanted to do a live tax return, Stevie was too tired to say “I dunno maybe we should get an expert in?” and so the result is very very funny. Will you learn anything about tax? No.


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Best-selling author, critically acclaimed Austentatious improviser, co-host of No Such Thing As A Fish, and all round top egg, Andrew Hunter Murray joins Stevie and Tessa for a special live episode. Coming to you fresh from the London Podcast Festival, the gang discuss how to stay private in a world which increasingly commodifies, celebrates and financially rewards sharing everything you've ever done, with everyone you've ever met....

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January 8, 2024 35 mins

Stevie recently passed and has many thoughts. Tessa passed a couple of decades ago before there was an app. If you’ve been putting off booking your theory test because you’re worried about failing, or have it looming in a few weeks, this is the episode for you.


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January 1, 2024 30 mins

Can you believe how many episodes we've done and yet we've never discussed the hallowed tradition of Wassailing?! Unbelievable. As Twelfth Night approaches, put on your coat, grab a glass of Wassail, bring your choir, your piece of toast, your pans, your gun, the Wassail Queen, and head out into your orchard!


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December 25, 2023 33 mins

Like a guided run, but for Boxing Day - whether you’re seeing family and wish you could stay in bed, or have woken up with the whole day ahead of you and no idea how to fill it, listen to the soothing sounds of Stevie and Tessa's voices to help you get through this sacred day of Box.


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