The SelfWork Podcast

Manifestation has been widely dismissed as self-involved, materialistic phooey. Now, James R. Doty, MD—a Stanford neurosurgeon, New York Times bestselling author, and Dalai Lama collaborator—reveals that manifestation is rooted in science.

Throughout his latest book, Mind Magic.  Dr. Doty unveils his six-part plan for harnessing your mind’s power to change your brain structure and reclaim your agency. He grounds you in practices for...

We'll talk today about the interweaving of depression and knowing you matter (or mattering). In my FB group, someone asked the question, "Do you ever wish you were more important to someone than you are? Like, I know I’m important to some people but there are others where I feel like they are more important to me than the other way around and I feel bad about it. Thats sooooo stupid right?

The main answer was, “No that’s not...

Suicide is discussed in this episode. Here is the link to the suicide prevention text hotline. 

"My bipolar disorder almost killed me." These are the words of Gabe Howard as he talked about his life with bipolar disorder. He's also an award-winning podcast host, author, and sought-after speaker. And he's someone that so many admire for his openness and knowledge around mental health issues - including me. In this epi...

The Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has stated that there is an epidemic of loneliness in the United States and the World Health Organization has declared it as a pressing global health threat, with a mortality effect equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. In this episode, we’ll talk about loneliness, how simple acts of empathy can be vital to healing loneliness, and "the power of eight minutes" - a way of communicating ab...

This week we're focusing on all of you who might see yourself or someone you love as being a HSP - or highly sensitive person. Given that 15 to 20% of the population is thought to “have” it – and I say that in quotes because it’s not something you have, it's something you are - it’s not an illness or a problem. It’s a personality trait. It characterizes you. It’s what people might say about you when they’re trying to descri...

What do you do when your child is an addict? My guest on SelfWork this week is Ken Guidroz, author of Letters To My Son In Prison. He's a husband, father of three sons, a grandfather, and an ex-pastor. All three sons had struggles with drugs. But his middle son? For years, Lucas was a heroin addict. And he accidentally killed a man while driving high. And he ran from the scene.

Ken takes the reader through the years his son serv...

 This week we’re going to be talking about couples therapy – and what misconceptions keep couples away from trying it. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is when a couple comes in WAY before there’s a crisis. But most don't. And these misconceptions are often the culprit; these six misconceptions keep couples out of therapy which also acts to help them avoid vulnerability.

What are some of these misconceptions? You're no long...

From getting through divorce to illness to death, your life can be turned on a dime in a seeming second. And you need your friends and loved ones to understand that you’re grieving, and need comfort. But that's not always what you get. Sometimes, they say the wrong thing and at the wrong time.

Maybe it’s laughable. Maybe it’s not. But often, either the most self-centered or ignorant or awkward responses will come your way.

That’s...

Today’s SelfWork was inspired by feedback from members of my FB group when I asked for potential topics - and they suggested Answering Your Questions About Therapy.

So.. what were the questions?

1) How to be real with your therapist about what’s not working...

2) Why do I want to feel that my therapist likes me?

3) How do I handle the fear that I’m “too much” for my therapist?

4) How to leave therapy...

Everyone in every profession has a...

Today, SelfWork is featuring Stanford psychiatrist Dr. David Spiegel, one of the world’s most respected and published experts in the field of hypnosis. And if you think hypnosis is some magic trick, you don't know what true hypnosis is. What’s often relegated as a sideshow is actually the oldest form of Western psychotherapy and a powerful evidence-based treatment for numerous disorders.

Dr. Spiegel is aiming to break the stigma...

Last week SelfWork focused on what fear has to teach you – what it may lead you to think, feel, or experience. And this week, I want to talk about panic, panic disorder, and how you can listen to, learn from, and work with panic.

If you’ve listened to SelfWork for a while now, you probably know that I experienced my first panic attack when I was in my late 20’s. Having them changed my life – I thought at the time, for the worse. But...

I remember my dad telling me that the main thing he feared in life was to have a heart attack when he was still young. His dad had had that happen and it killed him when my father was only a teenager. My dad, when I was 16, had a heart attack. It didn’t kill him but I so remember the look in his eyes, one of acceptance but also one of demoralization. He lived until his early 80’s but his life changed – and thus our family’s life ch...

I was honored to offer a TEDx talk this past year in Boca Raton, Florida. It's entitled "How to recognize perfectly hidden depression," and in it, I describe clients I've seen who'd never have seemed depressed to anyone around them. Two in particular are featured: one tried to take her life; the other came in well before that happened, but admitted he'd also had thoughts about doing the same. Having though...

I’ve stayed away from the topic of forgiveness here on SelfWork. Why? Because the word itself means very different things to different people – especially due to your culture or religious belief. But this week, I received an email from a listener that was so poignant AND was about forgiveness, that I’ve decided to talk about it, I've learned that there are emotions that are are important to acknowledge and work through in order...

“My feelings were hurt” is a phrase very commonly used. We even use it when we talk to our children.  “Did someone hurt your feelings?” It’s kind of interesting when you think about it. Instead of asking, “What happened and how are you feeling about it?” and helping your child sort out their exact feelings, we lump them all together.

Many of us carry that lumpy mess of “hurt feelings” into our adulthood. Instead of saying, for exam...

I’ve pulled what is the most downloaded episode of SelfWork’s history today because I've had to step off the stage again in my work to allow my body and mind to heal. Two weeks ago, I was in a huge hurry, bounding down my staircase, talking to my husband over my shoulder, in my clumsy Uggs boots – and I managed to pull off a head over heels tumble down the steps, eight or nine of them – and landed on a slate floor. Broken colla...

So many of us are living "what if" lives, meaning that we're not looking at the present and for opportunities that might be right in front of us. Instead we're worrying about the "what ifs" or "what if nots" of the world. And that can keep you in a constant state a perpetual indecisiveness. Of course, foggy thinking is a part of depression and worry is typically a huge part of anxiety. So we'll w...

Norman Lear is someone whose work, talent, and creativity I’ve admired for a long time. I've used an interview that he gave before he died as my inspiration for this episode, when he said about his own mortality, "It's not the going... it's the leaving that's hard."

So today on SW, we’re going to focus on endings and grieving and three facets of grief that may be surprising:

• When grief is harder the sec...

When I heard the name of the book my SelfWork guest - Rachel Marie Martin - has written, I knew I wanted her on the show. What's the title?  Mom Enough: Inspiring Letters for theWonderfully Exhausting but Totally Normal Days of Motherhood (Dexterity, September 26, 2023). In it you'll find greatly affirming letters written for moms at various stages of motherhood, from the melancholic to the "tear your hair out" to t...