Camp Wild Heart

No one plans for having a transgender kid. Camp Wild Heart is your guide for raising a transgender or non-binary child and nurturing an affirming family. We help you ease your fear and navigate your confusion. Mackenzie Dunham, clinical social worker and co-founder of Wild Heart Society, talks with parents, experts, and transgender adults about the ins and outs of coping with internalized transphobia, fostering shame resilience, exploring medical transition for youth, understanding identity development, knowing what language to use when, and more. Camp Wild Heart is full of people just like you who are lost and searching, brave and afraid, and trying best to do right by their children. You’ll cry--but never alone… and you’ll also laugh, really hard. Welcome.

Welcome to Camp Wild Heart! All of us at Camp Wild Heart are so excited you’re here. Showing up here means you’re looking for a way to show your love to your trans child in a way they understand and receive it. I don’t think there is anything closer to real magic than love. We know from the research that it is the most important protective factor kids have against trauma and stress. How cool is that?!  Consider this first episode your New Camper Orientation.  Just like any camp, we’ve got some rules. Rules help us learn what’s in bounds and what’s out of bounds, what behavior is encouraged and what is off-limits.  The rules help to keep people from getting hurt. While we can’t prevent every bump or scrape, our goal is to keep anyone from drowning. As you listen, I have some things I want you to keep in mind. These are our Camp Rules if you will:  Camp Wild Heart Rules:1. Keep your judgments to yourself2. Conversion Therapy is Abuse3. Shame is not a tool for change4. Your child should not be your source of support through this5. “The goal is not perfection, the goal is growth” - Britt Hawthorne6. Look for the common humanity7. Send us your questions - camp@wildheartsociety.org Each week at Camp Wild Heart, you’ll hear from parents who are bravely sharing their stories. Many times the parents I talk to will be sharing times they sat in the dark, made mistakes, or just felt confused & alone. But often these stories will have moments of joy and celebration and community, too. Thanks for showing up today and welcome again to Camp Wild Heart. Links:Brené Brown: TED Talk - The Power of VulnerabilityBrené Brown WebsiteBritt Hawthorne Website Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

Most kids don’t necessarily walk up to you and say, “Mom/Dad, I’m trans,” when they come out. Most of the time, however, they show early signs that they are exploring their gender and that they don’t feel right in their body.  Some parents welcome the exploration.  Others actively try to shut it down.  Some parents shut it down without even knowing it—and when they do, they often unintentionally shut down a child’s willingness to be vulnerable and open with them about gender and other difficult subjects—often for years to come.  So, how do you avoid closing the door on the coming-out conversation before it even happens? How do you encourage your child to be their most authentic self? And how do you find the courage to rumble with the discomfort of knowing they will face a world that will continuously tell them they aren’t good enough and judges them—and you—every step of the way?  In the first part of this episode, we’re going to hear from Tina Mulqueen. Tina’s daughter was assigned male at birth, but she knew rather quickly that her kiddo was not a boy. We talk about what this experience has been like for her and what she has done to support her kiddo as much as she possibly can.  Tina is the founder of Kindred PR and Executive Director of Cause Influence, a non-profit dedicated to amplifying marginalized voices. She's also a sought after speaker in sustainable entrepreneurship with a focus on such issues as minority representation in media and technology. So, I have a Question: This interview with Tina will probably bring up a lot of questions for you.  In the second part of this episode, Dr. Linda Hawkins, PHD., will lend us her expertise and answer some common questions she and I receive from parents as we do this work. Dr. Hawkins is the Director of the Affirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities Training Program at Widener University & Director of the Gender & Sexuality Development Program at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. She has more than 20 years of experience as a clinician. Check out the full episode to hear about:The early signs of gender expansiveness Tina saw in her childThe playbook Tina and her family created to support her daughterHow Tina’s family has navigated life so far, what keeps her up at night, and what inspires her about her daughterDr. Linda breaks down the difference between sex and genderHow parents can show their child that they love them in regard to gender identity Find out more about Tina Mulqueen:Kindred PR Find out more about Dr. Linda Hawkins PhD.:Dr. Linda Hawkins at Widener Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham: wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram Additional resources:Scientific American - January 2016Affirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities

There is no singular storyline that fits what it’s like when your child comes out. Every kid is different. Every family is different.  Sometimes trans kids come out when they’re little—and sometimes they don’t.  Sometimes parents are on board from the get-go—and sometimes they aren’t.  Whether parents are on board or not, it’s crucial to get support.  No one prepares for the day their kid comes out as transgender. By calling in for backup, it makes rising to the meet the moment just a little bit easier.  And when we can get help, we’re much more likely to thrive—and so are our kids.  During our campfire talk today, we’ll hear from brave mom, Laura. Laura realized that asking for help, being vulnerable, and showing up in community with other parents was more important than being judged. Through PFLAG and a therapeutic group for parents of trans kids, Laura saw how other parents modeled compassion for their kids and for themselves. Laura will also share about how her son, Lucas, came out and how she cultivated the courage to make her way down the path of affirming and supporting him through love and how she found connection with other parents going through something similar.  So, I have a Question: Laura’s story might have brought up some questions for you so in the second part of this episode, Dr. Linda Hawkins, PHD. will lend us her expertise and answer some common questions she and I receive from parents as we do this work. Dr. Hawkins is the Director of the Affirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities Training Program at Widener University & Director of the Gender & Sexuality Development Program at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. She has more than 20 years of experience as a clinician. Check out the full episode to hear about:The first signs Laura noticed that her son was transgenderHow PFLAG offered a place for Laura to connect with other parents of transgender kidsWhy it takes time for some parents to get on board—and why that’s OKHow to find the right support and why affirming your child is hard—but so worth itWays to love your child for who they are Find out more about Dr. Linda Hawkins, PHD:Dr. Linda Hawins at Widener Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram Additional resources: Affirmative Therapy for Transgender CommunitiesPFLAG

Most cis-gender people have a hard time imagining what it's like to be transgender but I don't know anyone who hasn't had some experience of not being seen for who they truly are.  Maybe you know what it's like to have someone look straight through you. Maybe your voice or ideas are regularly left out of meetings. Maybe you've been on the receiving end of some absolutely terrible customer service that leaves you wondering whether the person sees you as another human being. Ultimately, not being seen sucks.  And yet transgender people regularly go unseen and even worse—they regularly have the experience of dealing with people and institutions that refuse to see them. They are regularly met with messages from strangers, family members, and friends that who they are is wrong, that it isn’t real, or that they’re just confused.  To constantly have your life and identity in question hurts—and it often triggers a deep sense of scarcity and shame. Unfortunately, shame can make us feel totally alone and like we'll never be good enough.  During our campfire talk today, we’ll hear from fierce and kind mom, Jennifer. Jennifer will share about her experience with her kid, Aaron, coming out and having to swim through the sea of shame with him to a place of resilience and healing.  Please note that this story is a bit more intense than ones we’ve shared previously but it highlights an incredibly important and very real threat to transgender children.  So, I Have A Question: Jennifer’s story might have brought up some questions for you so in the second part of this episode, Dr. Linda Hawkins, PHD. will lend us her expertise and answer some common questions she and I receive from parents as we do this work. Dr. Hawkins is the Director of the Affirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities Training Program at Widener University & Director of the Gender & Sexuality Development Program at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. She has more than 20 years of experience as a clinician. Check out the full episode to hear about:Jennifer shares her son’s coming out story and her first response to it and, if she could go back, what she would say nowWhy Jennifer reached out for professional help right away after her son came out as transgender—and how she found the right therapist for their familyHow Jennifer and her husband worked together to support each other and their sonDr. Hawkins discusses the very real threat of suicide for transgender people, the role parents play in keeping their child alive, and different ways that parents can show love and affirmation to their transgender children Find out more about Dr. Linda Hawkins, PHD:Dr. Linda Hawkins at Widener Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham: wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram Additional resources: PFLAGAffirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities

Today at Camp Wild Heart, we’re going to talk about everyone’s favorite topic: suicide. Naturally, this is not a conversation that is super common which is why we feel it’s even more essential to talk about, especially as it relates to—and impacts—trans people.  The reality is that no one is protected from it—people of all walks of life and of all genders experience suicidal thoughts. However, trans people seem to be more vulnerable to it—not because of their transgender identity but because of being marginalized and oppressed in society. They are rejected by people who are supposed to love them unconditionally. That kind of emotional experience leads one to feeling like life isn’t worth living.  Since transness isn't the root of suicidal ideation, but rather it's more about the way that trans people are treated in our society, this episode is going to focus more on what it means and looks like to be suicidal as opposed to being a trans person who's suicidal. Instead of talking to a parent as we typically do, in this episode, I’m having an extended conversation with Jess. Jess always wanted to be a boy scout and comes prepared as a guest camp counselor here to journey through all of the adventures and self discovery at Camp Wild Heart.  Though afraid of the dark, Jess is not afraid to go to dark places with young people and their families to find some hope and reason for staying alive. When not at Camp Wild Heart, they utilized their training in social work and nerdy gender studies degree to help gender diverse youth and adults navigate and explore their identities and identify ways to feel affirmed. Jess also brings their fierce and tender heart into parenting their two year old and loving on the various members of their relationship constellation. They come to Camp Wild Heart with almost 10 years of experience working with youth and families. Check out the full episode to hear about:Jess’ experience with depression and chronic suicidal thoughts—and how that influences their workHow Jess can intuitively know if someone is more at risk of suicidal ideationWhat parents can be on the lookout for in their kids and how to parse out if something is due to teenage angst or something deeperWhy getting curious is key to supporting and affirming trans kids Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram Additional resources: Trans Lifeline 877-565-8860The Trevor Project 866-488-7386Affirmative Therapy for Transgender CommunitiesPFLAGThe Atlantic: Suicide Memes Might Actually Be Therapeutic 

Parenting a gender-expansive kid means that you and your kid are going to face a lot of people who do not understand gender and a lot of people who have a lot of opinions about how you should raise your child—and that can sometimes include your family members. Advocating for your child within your family is a common experience for parents of a transgender kiddo. Some parents have no trouble pushing back against their parents, or siblings or grandparents. But many parents wonder how to go about supporting their kid without rocking the boat with the rest of their extended family. Some parents have spent their entire lives playing by the rules set for them by family. To have a child that breaks those rules, and forces them to reckon with the armor they have been carrying around with themselves for whatever reason, can be incredibly disorienting. In the first part of this episode, you’re going to hear Carmen’s story. She is the mother of three kids and two dogs. She’s known a different path of parenting than most of us. Of her three kids, one is medically fragile, two are neurodiverse, one is transgender, and the other is now a tween girl. Carmen’s been wading through the tall grass of parenting for quite some time, and through it has really come to know herself, and what she stands for very well. She and her spouse have worked hard to create a home where they can and do talk about hard things and lean into difficult conversations regularly. So, I Have A Question: This interview with Carmen will probably bring up a lot of questions for you around how to advocate for your transgender kiddo within your family circle. That’s why I’ve solicited the help of Jenn Burleton. Jenn is considered an authority and nationally recognized leader on issues relating to transgender and gender diverse children and youth. In addition to her role as founder and program director of TransActive Gender Project at Lewis & Clark Graduate School of Education and Counseling, Jenn has served on Oregon Health & Science University’s Transgender Program Advisory Committee, and the LGBTQ Child Welfare Workgroup for Multnomah County. She was awarded the 2014 Multnomah County “Sy Award” for a lifetime commitment to social justice. On top of all of this - she’s one of the few remaining elders of the trans community and an absolute delight. I fully intend on making her one of my new best friends, and a regular here at Camp. Check out the full episode to hear about:How to advocate for your transgender child within your familyThe value of having hard conversations consistently—and confronting harmful conversations and mindsets around transnessThe incredible importance of connecting with other parents going through what you’re going through—no matter what stage you’re at with adapting to your child’s gender experience Find out more about Jenn Burleton: TransActive Gender Project Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham: wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram Additional resources: Brene Brown’s Braving the Wildernessgenderspectrum.com 

If you’re listening to this podcast, I’m guessing that you love someone who is transgender - probably your child.  And many of you might not have known during the last election, that you were parenting a transgender kid. Or maybe in the last election, the stakes didn’t seem so high.  This year, in case you didn’t have a reason to get to show up and vote, I want to make sure you know that your child needs you to vote - for them. Their rights literally depend on it.  Every year, in every state there are pieces of legislation that are aimed specifically at limiting, or reducing the rights of transgender people. So I want you to think about the world your child needs you to help create so that they can live the healthy, content life you’ve always wanted for them.  That world requires them to be able to go to the bathroom in schools and have a learning environment safe for them so that their brain will allow them to learn.  That world requires them to be able to love openly, unashamed, and free.  That world requires them to be able to marry.  That world requires them to be able to walk down the street without being harassed.  That world requires that they can’t be fired based on their gender or sexuality.  That world requires them to have the same rights and protections as cisgender people.  And yes - I think that this year, that matters more than taxes, and pretty much anything else that could affect your child’s wellbeing in the future.  Your kid can’t vote yet and they need you to use your vote to create a community where they can thrive.  I hope it would be abundantly clear who on your ballot is going to work to do that. If it isn’t, I’m sure every candidate has an office full of people ready and willing to talk to you about how they plan to support gender equality and LGBTQ+ rights. The date to vote is November 3rd.

As parents, we like to believe that we know our child better than anyone. Maybe better even than they know themselves. But do we really?  For some parents, that’s one of the hardest things about making sense of a child coming out as transgender. They didn’t see it coming. How could they have missed something so huge? Most parents suspect something is going on—but they just don’t know what it is.  When we recognize that something is off with someone we love, we might ask questions like: are you okay? Is there anything going on that you want to talk about?  Sometimes our loved one will tell us: yes, there is something. But most of the time, they usually say everything’s fine and then we go about our day worrying the way only parents and people with anxiety disorders can.  Sometimes we miss it altogether. Sometimes we see it and we're too afraid to ask.  So how do we get our kids to tell us what's really going on?  Today, we’re opening Camp Wild Heart with Brave Mom, Rachel. Rachel is the mother of 15-year-old Archie. Rachel and Archie have been on this gender journey together now for a few years—and they’ve experienced high moments and low moments along the way.  There’s no one way to parent any child. As Rachel shares, there are some ways that she and Archie have written the playbook for their family. And, in some ways, she’s had to grow as a mom in the process.So, I Have A Question: This interview with Rachel will probably bring up a lot of questions for you.  In the second part of this episode, Dr. Linda Hawkins, PHD., will lend us her expertise and answer some common questions she and I receive from parents as we do this work. Dr. Hawkins is the Director of the Affirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities Training Program at Widener University & Director of the Gender & Sexuality Development Program at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. She has more than 20 years of experience as a clinician.Check out the full episode to hear about:How it’s not only okay but important to ask hard, scary questionsWhy you and your child need to work together to determine what the playbook for support looks likeHow your support playbook is specific to your family—and it might look really different from other families—and that’s OK!Find out more about Dr. Linda Hawkins PHD.: Dr. Linda Hawkins at Widener Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham: wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram Additional resources: childrensnational.org 

I know a lot of parents who, when their child first came out to them as transgender, were not surprised and celebrated their child’s ability, courage and willingness to live their life authentically.  However, I also know a lot of parents who started in a place of fear and denial about what their child was telling them. This followed with them pushing back and denying their child the ability to explore what they were feeling in a safe way—or express themselves in a way that felt authentic to them. For those parents, the journey to understanding and affirming their child is a journey and it usually doesn’t come overnight. Over time, through their own education, self-reflection and growth, these same parents shifted to an affirming lens and started to celebrate their child for who they are.  In between is where it can get messy and, oftentimes, the child is the one who feels the weight of it. Unfortunately, that emotional load can have lifelong repercussions—both for the child and for the parent-child relationship. In the first part of this episode, you’re going to hear from Brave Mom, Shawna.  Shawna is letting us in on some of the struggles that she and her son have gone through after he came out six years ago and how to be an ally and an advocate for your trans child.So, I Have A Question: This interview with Shawna will probably bring up a lot of questions for you around how to become an ally to your trans kid. That’s why I’ve solicited the help of Jenn Burleton.  Jenn is considered an authority and nationally recognized leader on issues relating to transgender and gender diverse children and youth. In addition to her role as founder and program director of TransActive Gender Project at Lewis & Clark Graduate School of Education and Counseling, Jenn has served on Oregon Health & Science University’s Transgender Program Advisory Committee, and the LGBTQ Child Welfare Workgroup for Multnomah County.  She was awarded the 2014 Multnomah County “Sy Award” for a lifetime commitment to social justice. On top of all of this – she’s one of the few remaining elders of the trans community and an absolute delight.  I fully intend on making her one of my new best friends, and a regular here at Camp. Check out the full episode to hear about:Shawna’s experience navigating her relationship with her son throughout his gender journeyHow Shawna has showed up for her son by advocating for him publicly with family members and at his schoolWhy advocating for our transgender chilrden can sometimes feel like we’re constantly explaining to peopleJenn explains why there is no one-size-fits-all playbook for families with transgender kidsHow to avoid damaging your relationship with your kiddo who’s come out as transFind out more about Jenn Burleton: TransActive Gender Project Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham: wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram 

One of the aspects of common humanity and parenting is that we are all doing the best we can and trying to inflict the least amount of damage possible on our kids. Some days it feels like a hallmark movie and other days, an MMA pay-per-view special. And on some days, it is both. Anyone who tries to pretend it's anything different is just full of crap. So here's what I've started reminding myself and I encourage you to do the same as you continue on the journey of parenting your transgender kiddos, particularly during the holidays: There is no path for this. You are basically pioneering the Wild West of the gender frontier. And we are certainly in this with you and ready to support and help in any way that we can. But there isn’t a formula, model, one size fits all, or crystal ball that will show you what to do. There are no guarantees. The only real magic we have is the love and connection we give to our kiddos and to each other. So as you head into the holiday season, knowing that there's not a path to follow, I want to leave you with a few things to consider when trying to shift this holiday from a hard, grief-filled time to one of joy, gratitude, magic, and love for your kiddos. Happy Holidays!Listen to the full episode to hear:Some ways you can shift this holiday from a hard and grief-filled time to one of joy and gratitude.How wrong the myth is that therapists have got it all figured outHow the desire to be a pleaser, keep the peace, and not have needs can really mean you are striving for the status of invisibilityHow there is no path for this and how the only way out of this wilderness is through it. Do not try to pretend it isn't happening. It will only make it worse.This is an awkward journey. You are going to make mistakes. That's okay. You’ve got this!Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramGift Ideas:For Trans Boys: Chest binders - gc2b.coSwimwear: tomboyX.com; dapperboi.comTeen Vogue - Best Gifts For Your Transgender Loved OnesHuffington Post - Trans Youth GirftsBuzz Feed - Gifts That Support the Trans CommunityResources:The TransSanta ProjectExtra Support: www.thetrevorproject.org

As wonderful as this time of year is, and as much as I love it, even I would have to call BS if we didn't also address some of the very obvious and universal stresses that come with it. Sometimes this is because of family pressure. Sometimes it's our own perfectionism that gets in the way of true joy.  And if you're parenting a kid who has come out as transgender in the last year or two, you’re also dealing with how to navigate this with your extended family. There’s no one way to do this. There’s no one size fits all model.  In some families, the kiddo does everything. In others, the parents do it all.  That’s why I’m thrilled to have our friend Carmen back on with us along with her husband, Tim to share their experience with difficult conversations, boundary setting, and supporting each other as they move through the tall grass of supporting their transgender kiddo. I've also invited my badass friend and colleague Jess back on the show. The two of us talk about the questions and advice we've given families over the years as they navigate the holiday season. Listen to the full episode to hear:How to engage in difficult conversations with your family about the holidays and supporting your transgender childHow Carmen and Tim’s holiday traditions and rituals have changed over the yearsHow the holidays can be an opportunity to create new traditions for you familyHow boundaries are essential for them and how important it is to have the courage to set them and hold them up—and why boundaries do not have to be agreed upon to be respectedFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham: wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram Gift Ideas:For Trans Boys: Chest binders - gc2b.coSwimwear: tomboyX.com; dapperboi.comTeen Vogue - Best Gifts For Your Transgender Loved OnesHuffington Post - Trans Youth GirftsBuzz Feed - Gifts That Support the Trans CommunityResources: The TransSanta ProjectExtra Support: www.thetrevorproject.orgTransgender Lifeline or call (877) 565-8860 

 Without a doubt, the most controversial aspect of raising a transgender child comes with making medical decisions to assist with transition. As we started this podcast, the vast majority of questions I've received from listeners have been on this subject. And I won't lie: I've been delaying it in large part because first and foremost, I wanted you to know that you're not alone in your journey with your kid. There are many other parents who've been right where you are and without the community to lean on—and it seems like I would have been doing you and your kid a disservice. Trans kids are kids and they need loved and supported more than anything else. From my clinical perspective, without the love and connection that only a parent can give we're setting our kids up for the hardest possible path. So it's my hope that this next series of episodes will help ease some of your fears and ultimately allow you and your family to write some of the most challenging chapters of the playbook that works best for all of you. This is a huge subject and so, in this episode, my goal is to give you an introduction, answer some basic questions, and dispel a couple of myths when it comes to medical intervention and your trangender kiddo. Listen to the full episode to hear:When medical interventions are available to transgender kiddos (and why it’s likely not as young as you think)Why an endocrinologist is the best equipped to manage medical care through transitionWhen your transgender child should start seeing an endocrinologistWays to support and affirm your child even if medical intervention is not part of the conversationHow shame is the most damaging and painful of all emotions and how it can make your child feel unloveable and unworthy of love Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram Resources:PFLAG 

 No parent wants to navigate any part of the medical system for their child beyond checkups. Medical can be a confusing and scary journey. Of course, we all want to do as little damage as possible to our kiddos, and many parents see medical interventions for transition as a recipe for potential damage. There is just so much misinformation around the subject of medical. It’s no wonder parents are so confused about it! And you do not have to navigate this terrain on your own. You are part of a community now. There are parents who have been through this, and well-trained therapists and endocrinologists who can help you and your family create a plan for whatever comes next. Our guest today is a well-established and respected member of that community of support. Dr. Karin Selva is a Chair of the Pediatric Medical Executive Board at Randal Children’s Hospital in Portland, Oregon, and the Director of the Randall CHildren’s Hospital T-Clinic. She’s been rated as a top doctor by Portland Monthly magazine more than 10 times - and with good reason. Today, we kept our conversation focused to puberty suppression, medication, and her approach to working with young transgender children and adolescents. We’ll hear about other interventions in future episodes. Listen to the full episode to hear:Why it’s a good idea to take your kid to an endocrinologist before puberty starts, starting that relationship early onHow long you should expect your kid to be on blockers depending upon your goals for transitionWhy puberty blockers aren’t the right fit for everyone and what other option there isHow to approach medial if your child is non-binary Learn more about Wild Heart Society:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram 

On April 6, the Arkansas state legislature overrode the governor’s veto to pass the SAFE Act—Saving Adolescents From Experimentation. The law outlaws access to gender-affirming medical care for transgender youth by labeling perfectly safe, common, and lifesaving treatment as “experimentation.” All of us who work to support transgender children and their parents are appalled and heartbroken. This is not the first inhumane law to be passed severely limiting the rights of transgender people and it won’t be the last. But through years of doing this work, I’ve realized that the only thing that makes these obstacles to progress any easier to navigate is knowing that I am not alone. So I gathered some of my fellow warriors for an emergency conversation about how we can show up for the kids, families, nurses, social workers, and doctors in Arkansas. We also have those of you in Texas and North Carolina being threatened with similar legislation on our minds and in our hearts, too. Listen to hear reactions and reflections from social workers Jess Guerriero and Clancy Roberts, and endocrinologists Karin Selva and Kara Connelly. In this fight—and in this grief—they're great company. Resources:ACLU - Transgender People and Health CareHB 1570 - SAFE ActArkansas on the Ground Resources:ID ArkansasTransgender Map - Arkansas ResourcesTHEM. Articles45,000 Youth Could Lose Gender-Affirming Healthcare if Anti-Trans Bills PassMeet the Transgender Activists Fighting Arkansas’ All-Out War on Trans PeopleCamp Wild Heart Ep 11: Navigating the Rapids of Puberty Suppression with Dr. Karin Selva 

Hormone therapy, testosterone, estrogen. I've seen these words throw so much tension and chaos into families. In our first medical episode, we introduced endocrinology and talked mostly about puberty, suppression medication or “the pause button.” Today, we're leveling up and talking about hormone replacement therapy or HRT. So often, a child is begging for HRT, and the parents are giving the full-on deer in the headlights look. Which makes sense, a lot of the time the child has been longing for hormones long before they ever came out. And teens, being so good at timing, tend to drop this request on their parents who are still wrapping their heads around what transgender even means. What I’ve found is that because there's so much misinformation about gender and transition, that it is really easy to get lost in the BS. I've also found that most parents’ fears ease a bit after they learn more about what hormones do and don't do. So to answer some of the most foundational questions parents regularly ask about hormone therapy, I've wrangled the help of Dr. Kara Connelly. Dr. Connelly provides care for patients with a wide variety of endocrinology disorders. She is also the medical director for the Doernbecher Gender Clinic, which provides comprehensive medical care for transgender and gender diverse children and adolescents, under the umbrella of the Oregon Health and Science University Transgender Health Program. She's involved in local and national research and advocacy efforts and is passionate about reducing barriers to care for gender diverse youth. Check out the full episode to hear about:Why making an appointment with an endocrinologist is not a commitment to any one course of actionThe ways hormone therapies affect teenage bodies (changes are much slower than you think)The potential impacts of HRT on fertility, and what resources might be available to teens and families navigating those questionsHow supporting your teen in getting access to affirming care gives them a stronger foundation to move into adulthood Find out more about Dr. Kara Connelly:Doernbecher Gender Clinic Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram Resources:Camp Wild Heart EP 11: Navigating the Rapids of Puberty Suppression with Dr. Karin Selva

 Sometimes kids have a clear vision of what they want and need their body to look like in order to feel affirmed in their gender. If a child doesn't know that doesn't make them not trans, it just means this stuff is confusing and they aren't sure what they need. This is one of the main reasons we go slow. It’s also one of the reasons we always want to be sure that you as a parent have a comprehensive support team to help you through the medical side of transition. Knowing when it's time or when your kid is ready for medical transition is very difficult to do when you're trying to also manage your own feelings and whether or not you are ready for it. Today, we're going to hear again from Laura. We first met Laura in Episode 3 and we heard about her journey with her son Lucas and how she found the courage and support to deal with her own feelings about him coming out. Lucas has been out a while now, and Laura has come back to share with us about what it's like to navigate the medical side of transition with him. We’ll also hear a bit about a real-life version of Camp Wildheart based in New England. Camp Aranu’tiq is a camp established specifically for trans, nonbinary and gender diverse kids. I had a chance to sit down with Nick, the camp director, and want to share our conversation about the magic of camp. Check out the full episode to hear about:Laura’s journey from being scared for her son’s future to being a “mama bear” advocate and allyHow getting her son on blockers quickly after he came out has been crucial for his confidenceWhy testosterone and top surgery have been harder for Laura to wrap her brain aroundWhy support from parents and professionals who understand the experiences of trans kiddos and their parents is key Find out more about Nick and Camp Aranu’tiq:Camp Aranu’tiqHarbor Camps Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram Resources:Episode 03: I Was Not Ready For This – When Your Child Comes Out as Transgender 

 Every step along the medical journey requires some level of interaction with an insurance company. Prior to the Affordable Care Act, most, if not all, insurance companies did not cover any gender affirming care. They saw it purely as elective and not a medical necessity, but as you are experiencing firsthand, times they are a-changin’. And with that, so has what is and is not covered under insurance benefits. Some of the most comprehensive coverage plans I've seen will cover everything a person might need in order to feel affirmed: blockers, hormones, surgeries, voice therapy, the list goes on. Whereas other plans cover far less and/or have more hoops that they want people to jump through in order to approve an intervention. That's why I've asked Rachel back to the podcast. Rachel is the mama bear of Archie, who is 16. We first heard from Rachel in Episode 7. Rachel is one of the fiercest parent advocates I've met doing this work. When her kid needs something, you better believe she's not going to rest until they get it. For our conversation today, we're talking about insurance, top surgery and her experience in navigating both of those things at the same time and still managing to stay sane. It's my hope that Rachel's story will provide you with the awareness and common humanity that it isn't just your kid. It isn't just you that has to wrestle with the bureaucracy to get what you and your family need. Pushing back is a headache, but the payoff of seeing your child thrive, if medical intervention is something that they need, will be well worth it. Check out the full episode to hear about:Why shifting her mindset from being the container for her son’s transition to being the channel for it has made it easier for Rachel to advocate for medical supportWhy Rachel advocated for top surgery as a mental health and social wellbeing issue when it came to getting insurance authorizationHow working with experienced professionals writing letters in support of services can alleviate some of the insurance hurdlesAsking for help and seeking out resources to navigate insurance from your company and your community Additional resources: WPATH Standards of CareFierce Families NetworkCamp Wildheart Episode 7: Getting Our Trans Kids to Tell Us What’s Really Going OnPFLAG  Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram 

 There are lots of different opinions on the best way to support trans youth. Even among the community of affirming providers, there are lots of opinions of what should or should not happen for youth. According to standards of care written by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), once a person is 18, they should have access to care through the informed consent model. Meaning, they walk into a clinic, they say they're trans, they receive education about hormones and what they'll do to their body, they sign some forms and they're good to go. There are many individuals who feel that this should also be the path for youth. But according to WPATH, youth are required to undergo a comprehensive mental health assessment before they can proceed with hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Some professionals in the field, as well as within the trans community, feel like this is gatekeeping and creates unnecessary barriers to getting life-saving care. Others feel that this is a necessary step to assure that trans youth are clear on what they're experiencing and are ready for the changes that will come with HRT. Why? Shouldn't a person be able to say what they need and we believe them? Today, we're going to hear from Dr. Laura Edwards-Leeper. Laura is a pioneer and had the courage to step up for trans kids years before any of the other gender clinics started doing this work. She was the founding psychologist in the first youth transgender clinic in the United States and is currently the chair of the Child and Adolescent Committee for WPATH and is heavily involved in the revision of the standards of care. She has a private practice outside of Portland, Oregon, where she works with transgender and gender-diverse children and adolescents and adults for therapy and assessment. She also provides consultation and training to providers and clinics around the country. Internationally she's often a go-to resource for media outlets, including the New York Times, the Atlantic, the Washington Post the BBC and most recently 60 Minutes. Check out the full episode to hear about:Why the standards of care for children and adolescents are different than those for adults and why that includes a comprehensive mental health assessmentWhat parents can do to be part of the assessment process to maintain or strengthen their relationships with their kiddosAdvice for how to find a clinician skilled in working with adolescents and their families for assessment and therapyWhy an assessment is not a final yes or no, but a source of information Find out more about Laura Edwards-Leeper, PhD:DrLauraEdwardsLeeper.com Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram Additional resources:World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) 

The way we talk to kids about bodies and gender is so important.When I was a kid, we didn’t really talk about gender in any particular way, but it was everywhere and it was clear what the roles were. We didn’t really talk about bodies either - other than what was wrong with them.I wanted to do things differently with my kids. I wanted them to have an inclusive upbringing and understanding that their bodies were theirs and that they were wonderful, powerful, and the wisest part of them.I wanted them to know that their gender and their biological sex were different and that there were all these invisible pressures and rules for them but that they didn’t need to follow any of them.In early learning, whenever we want to teach kids social lessons, we turn to literature, and there was a shocking LACK of children’s literature that was inclusive and body positive. I stumbled my way through trying to explain gender and bodies to my kids because I didn’t really have a good resource to turn to when they were very young.This is why I’m so excited to talk to Rachel Simon.Rachel is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist who offers therapy, gender and sexuality education, and consulting to youth, parents, families, educational faculty, professional organizations, and health professionals.She received both Masters degrees from Widener University and received her BA in Psychology and LGBT Studies from the University of Maryland. Rachel has provided training and consultation on gender, sex, and LGBTQ issues for groups in the US and abroad. She currently runs her private psychotherapy practice in Philadelphia, specializing in queer and transgender youth and young adults. Rachel is the author of the sexuality education book for children, The Every Body Book: The LGBTQ+ Inclusive Guide for Kids About Sex, Gender, Bodies, and Families.Check out the full episode to hear about:Simple ways to answer kids’ questions about gender and transitioningHow to introduce gender expansiveness from an early age through play and languageTeaching kids empathy while recognizing and acknowledging differencesAdvice on boundaries, advocacy and not getting trapped by anxiety for parents and families supporting gender-expansive kidsFind out more about Rachel Simon:Rachel Simon TherapyThe Every Body Book: The LGBTQ+ Inclusive Guide for Kids about Sex, Gender, Bodies, and Families, Rachel E. Simon and Noah GrigniFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Talking to Young ChildrenHow to Talk to Kids about Gender IdentityChildren Books About Gender Identity